Nushi o Naraku
by Kerink
Summary: Hidan feels he and Kakuzu should be more than just partners. KakuHida
1. Chapter 1

**Keri: **Hey everyone! This is a new role-play story by me and a new buddy of mine, Sumgui on deviantart. It's 100 percent finished, and there's going to be more where this came from. We're already thinking about an MPREG one –wiggly eyebrows- C'mon, you pervs like that stuff right?  
Anywhoz, I'm going to try and post a new chapter every Monday, Wednesday, and either Friday or Sunday until it's finished.

**Warnings:** KakuHida, language, mild adult content

**Disclaimer:** Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto

**Kakuzu** – Keri (Ochone.deviantart)

**Hidan** – Anna (SumGui.deviantart)

**Start Chapter Date**: March 23, 2008

- - - -

In his entire seven hundred plus life Kakuzu had never needed a partner. He had always worked alone and that was how he liked it. When he joined the Akatsuki, for its financial benefits, he had been furious that his boss had attempted to give him a partner. He had killed the first one right off the bat.

But as time wore on he became more and more tolerant, only killing his team mates if they annoyed him. And they always did. Kakuzu had hoped that Sir Leader had finally given up on teaming him up after he had gone through fifty team mates, when one day he had called him into his office and showed him the single sorriest excuse for a ninja Kakuzu had ever seen: The man was beautiful.

Unacceptable, he had thought, ninjas were supposed to be cold, calculating, ruthless and bloodthirsty. He had nearly laughed when he had seen Deidara, and now Leader was forcing _that_ on him? Of course their first day together the smaller man had been kind and had allowed the stitched ninja his space and it had given Kakuzu a kind of hope that maybe the other would make a good partner, for a short time anyhow.

But the kindness, the politeness, the distancing only lasted about an hour and a half before the silver haired child - to Kakuzu anyways - began to pry. Asking him about himself: his past, his likes, his dislikes, why he stayed covered up all the time, what religion he belonged to, what kind of food he liked, why was his room so plain, etc., etc..

Kakuzu had taken a kunai and severed his head clean off. And even as the head rolled onto the floor, the man continued to talk, but he was now complaining, yelling, and just plain being annoying. Once he had learned he would be stuck with the other for the rest of their time in the Akatsuki, Kakuzu promptly punched his boss in the face.

They went on mission after mission together and got a long like a house on fire. Kakuzu estimated that he decapitated Hidan fifty to sixty times a month. And he was very good at estimating.

And so, as their six month anniversary, as some would call it, approached, Kakuzu could feel a sinking in all five of his heartless-hearts as Sir Leader gave him orders to take Hidan out for a long list of missions. He walked back to his room, adjusting his mask as he passed Kisame in the halls; everyone was going out for missions today.

He pushed open the door to the room he and Hidan shared and walked to his desk on the other side of the room. His partner was on his bed, reading his large, leather-bound bible as always. "Get ready, we're going out. Leader-sama thinks we may be gone for two months; probably longer considering your work ethic. But I swear to you Hidan," he said glancing over his should to glare at the younger, "I will stick your head in a bird cage and put it outside during a storm if we take any longer than three." Threatening Hidan's hair always seemed to get things done. "Understand?"

Hidan looked up and scowled at his partner, the customary nail polish and its brush in hand. He had been painting his nails. Very badly. "Screw you dip-shit. My work ethics are fine. I'm not the one taking side trips and picking up stupid bounties!" Hidan promptly tossed the bottle at Kakuzu, but missed so it merely smashed into the wall. Some spattered on Kakuzu's face, and at that Hidan smirked. "You look pretty good in purple, after all your sexual orientation fits it perfectly." Oh yeah, calling Kakuzu gay sure felt good.

Kakuzu stood, trying to control himself. He calmly reached a hand up to wipe the paint off of his face. He looked to the white-washed wall; it would surely have to be re-painted. He then looked to the ruined carpet; he would have to get a new one.

In a fraction of a second the figures and calculations ran through his mind. Kakuzu was not happy with the result. He turned back to the blonde, still calm, still quiet, his face blank. This was not good.

Hidan started to hum a small tune as he stood up. "Well while you stand there I'm going to go get my scythe. It got a little dent and I got Sasori to fix it. And if it will make you happy he did it for free." That was a lie: Sasori had wanted a lot of money for it, so Hidan stole from Kakuzu and said Tobi had done it. He flicked his hair in an almost flirtatious way. "Don't worry your ugly gay head; I'll be ready in time to go."

As Hidan began to walk out the door, Kakuzu made some quick seals, effectively hardening his body to that of a diamond. He was behind Hidan in the blink of an eye and punched the young man right through the door; he stood on the side of Hidan and kicked his head off and into the kitchen. He was still calm, blank, and emotionless as he placed one foot on Hidan's chest and pressed, crushing his ribs.

He turned back to their room as the other members peeked their heads out of their rooms to see what was going on. Deidara rushed to his friend's side, bringing Hidan's head back to his body. "What the hell Kakuzu, hmm? What's you're problem, hmm?"

Kakuzu packed his and Hidan's bag. "He was bothersome and wasteful. For his insubordination, he will not be receiving another bottle of nail polish from me until this wall and floor is paid for." He tucked the bag under his cloak before turning to Sasori. "That scythe, puppet boy, better be good as new. Don't think I don't know where Hidan got the money to fix it; I know how you work and know you wouldn't do something like this for free."

Hidan remained silent until Deidara brought him back to his body. After a quick thank you Hidan turned his attention to Kakuzu. "Fucking dick-shriveled man-whore! What the hell?! And do you think I care about that fucking nail polish? It's so gay, like you!"

Sasori stepped in front of Deidara - he did not want Kakuzu to attack Hidan while Deidara held his head. "He said he stole the money from you." Sasori glanced down the hall at Zetsu. "I pity Tobi, but I can't believe that you believed what Hidan said."

Kakuzu gazed at Hidan in the way that had made his previous partners shrink in fear. He knew fully it would not work against the priest, but he did not care. "Its part of your uniform, idiot, Leader will have your head - both literally and physically - if you don't manage some."

Deidara brought Hidan's ear up to his mouth. "I'll share, hmm," he whispered before Kakuzu could see. He shrunk back behind Sasori just in case.

"Thanks," Hidan said to Deidara.

The stitched man ignored the two pretty boys and kept his gaze on Sasori. "As if I care about Tobi, that hazard was begging to be put in his place." The orange-masked nin had been trying to reveal the secret behind Kakuzu's mask for the mast month and a half. "Look, just get the scythe fixed or neither of us will hear the end of it. I'm ready to go, so hurry, if you would." It was the closest to please Sasori was going to get - he and Kakuzu were sort-of friendly anyways. They got along well enough, but having friends was below both of them.

At Kakuzu's remark about Tobi 'begging to be put in his place', Zetsu's darker half let out a loud snarl.

Sasori gave his 'loaded smile', as Hidan put it. "I finished fixing it awhile ago. It is well made, a work of art. I'll get it." Sasori then headed back to his room for the weapon.

Hidan snorted, rolling his eyes. "You may be ready ass wipe, but I'm not. I'm not going anywhere until you stitch my head back on and my ribs heal." He smirked. "You know we wouldn't run so late if you thought about what you should do to me before you do it. Like that time you smashed my legs? We were two days late because I couldn't walk and you refused to carry me."

At that, Kisame snorted as well and said: "You got burned, Kakuzu-san!"

Kakuzu glanced lightly at Kisame before he snatched Hidan's head from Deidara and stuck in into the bag under his cloak. He threw Hidan's body over his shoulder and waited for his scythe. "I'll carry you this time only because I'm going to want to kick your head through the forest as soon as we get going."

Sasori returned and gave a quizzical look at the scene before him. He then shook his head and handed the scythe to Kakuzu. "Here it is, and you best put his head somewhere else. You'll get blood on your things."

"See?! What did I fucking tell you?! Think before you act!" Hidan's muffled voice said from the bag.

"Hidan's things are on top," he said before making his way to the door, the scythe on his other shoulder. As soon as he was out of the house, he dropped Hidan's head on the ground and began to kick it as he walked.

It was not until dark that they stopped; Kakuzu set his and Hidan's things down and began to get ready for the night. He made a small fire and set some food on to cook before pulling Hidan's body into his lap along with the bruised and dirtied head.

Quietly he hand-stitched the soft, porcelain skin back together, running calloused fingers through Hidan's silver hair. He pulled out the leaves and twigs and a spider or two. Kakuzu grunted, helping Hidan to sit before returning to the food.

Hidan had complained for an hour while Kakuzu had kicked him along the ground, but stopped when he had landed face first into something that had tasted foul. And when Kakuzu's fingers had run across his scalp and the skin of his neck he had forced himself from sighing. Moaning maybe? He was not very sure. It had felt so very good. He would have to perform a ritual for Jashin's forgiveness.

Hidan picked at the stitches before crawling over to the fire. He gave Kakuzu a glance before inhaling. It was now or never. "Um... Why do you wear that mask?" He had asked that once before, but it had ended badly.

Kakuzu twitched in annoyance. "Did your mother remember to install an 'off' button?" he said simply. He stirred the stew one last time before ladling out just enough to keep Hidan happy until morning. He placed a lid on the pot and unrolled two mats for them to sleep on. He always ate after Hidan had fallen asleep.

When the beds were made - placed at a safe distance apart since Hidan tended to roll around in his sleep - he sat on his mat and began to calculate the budget for their mission adding in, of course, the cost to fix their room. He sighed, although his thick mask muffled the sound almost completely. Did he remember to bring Hidan's gel? He did not want to buy the brat another bottle just for the mission. He chewed on the end of his pen through his mask as he dug around in his bag, congratulating himself on throwing the expensive item into it.

Hidan scowled. That was it? Even Itachi talked about himself more then he did. His scowl became even deeper when he looked at the food. It smelled nice, but it looked awful. Hidan looked over at Kakuzu. "Why don't you eat with me? If we talk some then we would know each other better." He set the bowl down and crawled over to Kakuzu and grabbed his arm then gave it a soft tug. "We might not fight as much, and then things would go so much quicker and smoother."

Kakuzu snatched his arm back, glaring at Hidan. The Jashinist knew he did not like to be touched. "Because if we talk about our selves then we become close and if we become close then we'll become stupid and irrational." He stood, now looking down at Hidan. "And besides, isn't eating and talking what people normally do on dates?" He smirked behind the mask. "And here you thought I was the gay one?" He turned from Hidan and began to walk into the forest. "I'm going for a walk. Stay here."

Hidan glared and jumped to his feet with a snarled. "No one else is irrational!" Hidan then ran behind Kakuzu and grabbed the cloth that covered his head and gave it a rough tug. He heard the sound of ripping cloth.

There was a loud clicking noise as the Waterfall Village headband fell to the ground, the metal hitting a rock. Kakuzu froze as his long, stringy black hair fell around his face. All five of his hearts skipped a beat, giving him a feeling of nausea. He ignored it in favor of whipping around and grabbing Hidan's thin and abused neck with both hands. He pressed his thumbs to Hidan's wind pipe and began to squeeze as hard as he could.

"What is your problem?" he hissed. "What is so damned wrong with just leaving people alone when they want to be alone? Why do you feel the need to annoy people to the point where they want to rip out your damn tongue?" He could hardly control the rage wanting to seep into his voice as he glared at the smaller man as hard as he could, the places in his face where there were not any stitching opened as he spoke, showing his teeth through his cheeks.

"Me?" Hidan asked in a raspy voice - he had no need for his lungs to talk. "What's wrong with you? Everyone needs to talk to someone." Hidan dug his nails into Kakuzu's wrists, drawing blood. "I'm trying to be civil but you just won't have it!" Hidan's eyes gave a quick look over Kakuzu's face. He smirked. "And why are covering your face? You look perfectly fine, you don't fucking need it." Jashin, how he hated being choked: It was not that it felt bad, damn it felt wonderful. So wonderful in fact that it turned him on, no matter who was doing the choking. But there was no way in hell that he was going to let Kakuzu see what it did to him.

"I've gone hundreds of years without...people. I'm not going to start now just because you want to get lovey dovey." He let go of Hidan, letting the man fall to the ground as blood and oxygen rushed to his brain. He sighed and retrieved his hood and headband. "Most people don't like to look at me, and I don't like people looking at me. So I wear this; everyone gets what they want." Kakuzu began to make his way back to camp, not caring if Hidan would come or not. He sat back on his mat and began to fix the mask. Kakuzu kept his head bowed, watching the needle drag the thread in and out of the fabric: sewing always calmed him.

Hidan glared at Kakuzu. He stood up and stomped off to slam his skull into a rock. When it came to healing, Hidan's brain to the longest: a week was the shortest time possible. So, seeing as Kakuzu did not know this, Hidan would be a burden to him until he figured it out.  
After a good few rams, Hidan lost his ability to see, and being satisfied, stumbled his way back. He knew he was back because as he felt around he had grabbed Kakuzu's still uncovered face. "Kakuzu-kun!" Hidan screamed, to be extra annoying. "I can't see!"

Kakuzu looked up, his eyes still dull and half lidded. "That's because you're an idiot." He set his hood aside and pulled Hidan to sit in his lap; he grabbed Hidan's lower back and pulled him close as he picked the chips of rock and dirt from his wound. "Why would you do this?" he asked quietly. He pulled another needle from his pocket and thread a string through it; the end tied on its own. Gently - so as to reduce the amount of bitching from the Jashinist - he slid the needle through the pale flesh and stitched the wound closed.

"Attention: You don't give me enough," Hidan muttered. "And be careful up there. I'm sure you don't want me to get meningitis or some infection that will make me act like a zombie." Hidan scrunched his face and turned to look some ways away from Kakuzu. He meant to look **at** his face but chances of that happening when you were blind are slim. "Why the hell do you care anyway? Better yet, why am I in your lap." Hidan felt his way up Kakuzu's sides, chest, neck, and face until he felt the lager man's hair, which he grabbed and gave a small tug. "I thought you hated being close to people and this almost as close as you can get."

Kakuzu sighed heavily. "I don't mind touching, I just don't like being touched. There is a difference you know." Since Hidan was blinded anyways, he let his gaze linger on the others face; not in the normal malevolent way, but in a curious way.

Hidan's face was thin with a pointed chin, his ears stuck out slightly; his nose was small and pointed and sat so cutely between those lovely violet eyes. He always kept his silver hair slicked back with sweet smelling gel made of white lotus and spent more than three-fours of his income on things for his hair: gel, shampoo, conditioner, hair spray, clips, etc. Kakuzu let his fingers ghost across his bare sides, Hidan's coat having been discarded when they had stopped. He swallowed before pushing Hidan onto his bottom. "There, done. Go to bed."

Hidan pouted but crawled around to look for his cloak and mat. After about ten minutes and three occasions of putting his hands in the fire - once on accident and twice to make up for the fact he had done no rituals that day - Hidan found both and felt around again trying to retrace his steps. "Ha, found you!" he said triumphantly to Kakuzu when he had grabbed his hand. He then laid the mat next to Kakuzu's and lay down.

Kakuzu had watched in amusement as Hidan scrambled about looking for his things, enjoying the pain that the fire caused him and the fact he had purposefully injured himself twice. But when the priest dare move to sleep near him he became cross once more. "May I ask what it is you think you're doing?" he asked flatly before pulling his hood back over his head. "You know better than to sleep anywhere near me.  
Or is it that you're frightened to sleep by yourself in the dark?" He smirked slightly: Hidan was deathly afraid of the dark. "After all, I didn't bring you're little Aiate-chan." He chuckled to himself as he filled a bowl of food for himself. He had left Hidan's teddy bear back at the base in order to get back at him for wasting time and money.

Hidan glared at a bush several inches from Kakuzu. But it soon turned into a smirk. "Well then..." Hidan half crooned, "You'll have to do." At that Hidan latched his arms around Kakuzu's neck - right on target - and pulled himself into the other man's lap.

Kakuzu froze at the touch; a shiver ran up his spine before he looked down at the younger man. "Get off me, Hidan. Get off me right now or I'm going to-" he stopped and sighed, realizing it would only cause more problems. He sat down by the fire and began to eat, finding it hard to get to his mouth around Hidan's head.

It was not that it was entirely unpleasant, just different. Kakuzu had told the man he did not like touch, but time and time again he used that weakness to get on Kakuzu's nerves. Once finished he stood, taking the still clinging Hidan with him, and flopped onto his bed. "Are you at least going to sleep in your own bed?"

Hidan squeezed Kakuzu slightly. "No. I need to cling to something in order for me to fall and stay asleep." Hidan then roughly tucked his head under Kakuzu's chin and fell silent: he was asleep almost instantly.

Kakuzu groaned at the clinging man. He pulled up his own blankets before tugging over Hidan's to make sure they were equally covered. After that was done and he had wrapped his arms around the smaller frame, he weighed his options:  
He could go along with this and have a happy – but still blind and needy – Hidan in the morning.  
He could throw Hidan back into his own bed and listen to him bitch for a few days.  
He could throw him into the dying fire and fall asleep to the sounds of finally being rid of the man.  
Or he could tie Hidan to a tree and sew his mouth shut.  
All seemed like good options and all brought a smile to Kakuzu's face. But they would almost all require getting up, waking Hidan, and listening to him complain until the deed was done. So, in the end, he went with just letting the other do as he pleased. He sighed in defeat and rest his head on the top of Hidan's, falling asleep soon after.

- - - -

**End Chapter Date:** March 28, 2008


	2. Chapter 2

**Keri: **Anna and I both know that Hidan's taking this a little fast. I laugh at his ignorance.

Did I ever mention that this fic is loaded with plot-necessary OCs? Well, not really OCs, but "plot devices". Don't worry nothing Mary-sue-ish happens.

**Start: **March 28, 2008

**Natsumi** - Sumgui

- - - -

The next morning Kakuzu woke, as usual, at the crack of dawn. He sat up, dragging the other up with him. He yawned and stretched before pushing Hidan off of him. "Up," he ordered.  
He sat in front of the fire and started it again. It was relatively cold and everything was covered in a thin layer of dew. Fortunately the large, cast-iron pot has saved most of the wood from destruction and in minutes the cook fire had started up again in order to heat for breakfast what was left over from last night. "How'd you sleep?"

Hidan muttered as he crawled toward Kakuzu's voice. "I slept fine," he said quietly, leaning against Kakuzu to be warmer. "But I still can't see." He then crawled back onto Kakuzu's lap. Hidan was beginning to regret blinding himself. It was so dark, and it would be that way for some time. He was, well, a little frightened. He buried his face into Kakuzu chest, sighing.

Kakuzu looked down at him, slightly annoyed, slightly amused. He stirred the food before dishing it out for Hidan. "Can you manage to feed yourself or do you need me for that too?" He tried to pry the silver haired man off of him without getting dirt in Hidan's bowl. "Let go dammit," he growled.

Hidan pulled away reluctantly. A look of fear was plastered on his face. "I can feed myself." Hidan held out his hands, waiting for Kakuzu to place the bowl in them.

Kakuzu was tempted to warn the other that the bowl was hot, but figured he would not mind. He set the bowl in Hidan's outstretched hands before serving himself. Now that he was blind, Kakuzu felt free to eat with him, so he did.  
"We need to hurry up and get going, so as soon as you're finished-" he paused; it was not like Hidan could help clean up camp or anything. He sighed and reached a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "When you're finished, I'll give you your coat and tie your scythe on you. Can you go ten minutes without me while I clean this place?"

Hidan gobbled his food down in a matter of seconds - he had not eaten anything last night. "Of course I can be without you for ten minutes! I'm not that half-wit Tobi! Hidan then looked down at his empty bowl, frustrated that there was nothing left, even if he could not see the empty. "Can I have more if there's any left?" Hidan put on a pleading face.

Kakuzu felt his cheeks flush but was able to clear it away with a small cough. "Erm, yeah. You can have mine." He nearly threw the bowl at his partner before he stood and began to roll up the mats.  
What had all that been about? Kakuzu had never gotten flustered around Hidan before. Hell, Kakuzu had never gotten flustered around _anyone_ before. He attempted to clear his mind of the adorable face his partner had made as he erased all traces of the two being there - lest some ANBU or other hunter nin decide to track them.  
Once that was finished and he had cleaned up from breakfast, he grabbed Hidan's things and pulled the man to his feet. "Time to get dressed." Even though Hidan could probably fix himself up, Kakuzu still felt the need to pull the cloak over his small frame and gently tie the whip-ended scythe around Hidan; his soft skin felt so wonderful under Kakuzu's calloused fingers and the stitched nin felt his cheeks flush again.

As Kakuzu dressed him, Hidan began to realize that he was moving far too slowly. He also felt Kakuzu's hands linger on his exposed skin. Hidan reached up, grabbed Kakuzu's face and pulled him down. "Jashin, show me mercy..." He lurched up to give the stitched man an awkward kiss.

He did not fuss; he did not push Hidan away. No, none of it. Kakuzu simply stood there. After a moment, he pulled away to look down at Hidan. "Are you some kind of idiot?" he asked calmly.

"What do you mean 'are you some kind of idiot'?" Hidan asked angrily, not bothering to even try looking at Kakuzu. "You were the one touching me, I thought it was what you wanted."  
It was painfully obvious that Hidan knew nothing about such things. And Hidan was sure that Kakuzu knew the laws of his religion: what he had just done was the worst sin possible, he was old enough to know.

Kakuzu said nothing but simply pulled his mask down and slammed his lips to Hidan's, which proved to be a much better kiss than the first. It was not until Kakuzu felt Hidan's bruising lips against his own that he realized how much he did miss human contact. He had not been with anyone - romantically or other wise - since his mid thirties, which had been a long, long time ago.  
And he knew for a fact that Hidan was staining his angelic reputation by participating in such an act - especially with another man. For Hidan had nearly spewed his entire bible at Kakuzu over their six month partnership. All priests were to remain beautiful, young, virgins for their Lord.  
Kakuzu had never believed in things like gods or heaven, but still he felt guilty for tainting Hidan. He parted their lips only to rest his forehead on Hidan's. "How was that?"

Hidan swallowed hard, his face flushed a deep pink. "Fucking hell..." Hidan muttered before leaning up and biting the stitches on Kakuzu's face, giving one a sharp tug, "it was awesome."

Kakuzu hissed in pain but did not stop the younger. "We're going to be late for our first appointment if we don't hurry." He reached his head over to bite the lobe of Hidan's left ear. Once he tasted the delicious blood that so often escaped from Hidan's body, he pulled away. "We're never to speak of this moment ever again, understand? I do have a reputation to keep." He tugged his mask back up and looked down at Hidan, awaiting confirmation.

Hidan reached up and fingered the bleeding lobe, then licked the blood off his fingers. "Sure, I won't tell," he then smirked. "But only if I still get some of those kisses. Fare trade?" The smirk turned into a seductive smile - it really looked like Sasori's 'loaded' smile, but he never had tried to smile seductively - as he pressed himself against Kakuzu.

"Fine, but not in public." Kakuzu reached his hand into their bag, pulling out an extra mask. "Here," he said, twisting it into a strip, "this way people won't think we're gay and ruin the Akatsuki's good name." He tied the cloth around Hidan's head, covering his eyes.  
Kakuzu reached down and took Hidan's hand, leading him away from the camp site. "How the hell are you going to be able to fight blinded?" He snorted. "And you and Sasori say that I need to think before I act."

"Sure, only in private," Hidan replied, a dreamy smile on his face. Hidan thought quietly. How _would_ he fight? Swinging his scythe around was a no: he could hurt Kakuzu. "Just give me their blood and I'll do fine," he said finally. "I need to sacrifice a shit load of people for kissing you anyway." He tightly squeezed Kakuzu's hand. "Who are we after?"

Kakuzu tensed slightly at the extra contact, but did not do a thing more. "I'll try, but hone in on their chakra if you can. It'll be easier on all of us." He pulled out the list of people they were targeting. "We gotta go to the area around Sunagakure and kill a guy who knows too much." He scoffed. "Shouldn't Sasori and Deidara be doin' shit there?"

"There is a reason for it," Hidan said, stumbling on a tree root, "But a bad one." Hidan then smiled. "At least I won't trip on anything." He then lifted Kakuzu's hand to his face and gave it a small kiss. Many people had kissed his hand when he had been at the temple, and he had seen couples do it as well. However, as far as he knew, it was a sign of respect.

Once more Kakuzu tensed at the touch, but did not let go. "We have to go up through the sand, then to the grass, then the rock, through the waterfall and over to the lightning, then to the fire." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "This is going to be hell."

"So many places," Hidan said, still holding Kakuzu's hand to his face. "I swear, Leader-dick wants us away from him. No one else gets this many missions at once." Hidan stopped moving and had Kakuzu look at him. "If you ever need any stress relief, feel free to use me."

Kakuzu blinked, completely taken aback by the sudden offer. It took him a second of staring at the frightened, vulnerable figure before him to remember that this was, in fact, still Hidan. "I will never understand you masochists." As if he ever needed Hidan's permission to beat the living crap out of him anyways.

Hidan smirked, his eyes gaining an evil glint. "Whatever, but let's fucking hurry and get to a town or something. I need to kill a virgin."

"Yeah, yeah." He pulled Hidan through the forest, trying to push back the thought of how easy it would be to just have the man right there and then. If Kakuzu hid his chakra, he would be nearly invisible and could have the man any way he pleased for as long as he pleased.  
He shuddered at the thought, trying to think of anything other than Hidan splayed out below him, giving him that adorable look he had at breakfast. Kakuzu pulled them into a town at the border of the forest and the dessert, they had been walking for a few hours and Kakuzu was starting to feel the effects of not having had breakfast. "Want lunch?" he asked, trying to find the cheapest restaurant he could.  
Hidan licked his lips: Food sounded good. "Sure, but no cheap restaurants that serve puffer fish. I know you like chiri and fugu and cheap places tend to do poorly when preparing it." Hidan looked up to look at Kakuzu's chin. "I only want you as my partner."

"And earlier you were calling me the gay one," he muttered, but he sighed in defeat and pulled the younger to one of the nicer looking restaurants, it was not like Hidan would know anyways.  
However, he kept playing the words in his mind. They had been sweet and sincere. Just how long had Hidan felt that way about him? Or was he, like the kiss, only saying it because he thought that was what Kakuzu wanted to hear?

Hidan heard some people talking, some saying how attractive he looked and others, well... some made some crude comments. "Kakuzu, what's on the menu?" He tugged his partner's hand roughly.

"I'm just going to get you some tuna and tempura; you like that shit right?" He scanned the menu to make sure it was within their budget. Smiling to himself that the had found a clean restaurant with decent prices. He had, however, wished Hidan had sat on the other side of the booth, the closeness was unnerving.

"I hate tuna." He grabbed Kakuzu's sleeve and tugged. "Can't I have chicken flavored ramen? That's cheap."

Kakuzu's nose scrunched up under his mask. "Chicken and ramen?" It sounded awful to him, but he checked the price and found it to be a little less than half of what he suggested. "Fine, you can have it, but if you start up later about being hungry I'm going to break your jaw; understand?"  
Hidan smiled, and placed his hand on Kakuzu's inner thy and gave it a soft squeeze.  
A young woman came up to them, a notebook and pencil ready to take notes. "Are you two gentlemen ready to order?"

Kakuzu nodded and tried to subtly shake Hidan's hand off his leg. "Yes please, your octopus and puffer fish bento for myself and chicken ramen for my partner." He passed the woman their menus. "Water and a small sake to share, if you would." Being polite to women, he found, got him discounts.  
The woman smiled sweetly. "Alright, I'll have your ramen, water, and sake ready in a jiffy." She then looked at Kakuzu. "But your bento will take awhile, sir. You won't mind the wait, will you? We have to keep our reputation."  
"Reputation?" Hidan asked.  
"We haven't had single person die after eating the puffer fish we have prepared since we have opened."

Kakuzu wanted to bite back with a "I'm not worried" but he kept his mouth shut and instead, gave the waitress a curt nod.

The woman smiled and went to give their order to the chef.  
"I like her," Hidan said while his hand moving higher on Kakuzu's inner thy, massaging it. "I wonder if she's a virgin. Hey do they have ketchup and those cheese shakers on the table?"

Kakuzu had long given up on shaking off Hidan's touch and was now looking at the man with a mix of curiosity and disgust. "Ketchup and cheese? We're in a sushi restaurant."

"As if," Hidan said, his hand now resting of Kakuzu's groin. "I heard someone ask for a cheese burger and another for a slice of pizza. I like putting mozzarella cheese and ketchup in my ramen." He then removed his hand to rest his chin in it.

Kakuzu swallowed the noise he wanted to make at the initial touch, he pulled Hidan's hair to try and move him out of the booth, when that did not work he kicked him to the ground. "Move, I have to go to the bathroom." He nearly ran into the nearest stall, locking himself in.  
He heaved a heavy sigh before opening his cloak to make sure he was okay. He was not. Nearly Six hundred and twenty three years of asexuality ruined in one simple act by a very sexy man in public. Kakuzu growled and rest his head none too gently on the wall. "Fucking Hidan," he grumbled, closing his eyes with a sigh. He mentally ran through Akatsuki's finances for the next year and in minutes he was cured of his "little problem".  
Since he was already there, Kakuzu decided he may as well go, so he did his busyness and washed his hands before returning to the booth he and Hidan and claimed. He sat down, this time on the opposite end of Hidan, staring into his water rather than look at the blinded man.

What happened to being oh-so religious? What happened to his god? Better yet, what made Hidan suddenly want to give him a hand job in the middle of a perfectly good restaurant? Kakuzu figured he had given Hidan a little too much freedom, had let him in a little too close. Well, he thought, he would just have to fix that now wouldn't he?

Hidan used his foot to look for Kakuzu's shin. When he found it he gave it a sharp kick. "You can hit me, choke me, anything, but do not grab my hair," he hissed. "If you do that again I'll kick you in the crotch. People kept coming up to me asking why I was with someone like you. They acted like I was your abused girlfriend."  
Hidan then grabbed the cheese shaker and ketchup - their waitress had placed them there so he would not mistake the salt/sugar and hot sauce for them - and dumped it in his ramen, stirring it until it was an orange color, then he began to eat.  
The woman returned with Kakuzu's food. She was no longer smiling and gave Kakuzu a hard glare. "Here is your food sir," she said sharply before leaving.

"Like I care about your fucking hair," he growled, breaking his chopsticks. Kakuzu bowed his head and pulled his mask down just enough to place a strip of octopus and puffer fish in at the same time. He could taste something different than normal, strange but not too odd. He ignored it and continued to eat.

"They mah ha'h s'at in yo' foot." Hidan said with a mouth full of ramen.

"Don't talk with your mouth full idiot," he mumbled, pouring himself some sake, sipping it. "No one can understand a word you say when you do." He felt one of his hearts beat sporadically. He coughed and began to pound on his chest; he tried to gasp for air, but felt a set of his lungs stop. His eyes glazed over and he fell face first into his plate.

Hidan starred blankly at Kakuzu for ten seconds, he then reached over and shoved his face out of his food. "OKAY! WHO THE FUCK POISONED MY FUCKING PARTNER?!" he screamed. "I KNOW HE FUCKING PULLED MY HAIR BUT I LIKED IT!!" Every one remained silent. Hidan stood up and grabbed his scythe. "WHO EVER DID IT?! BETTER TALK NOW OR I'LL FUCKING KILL EVERYONE IN HERE, AND IS THERE SOMEONE WHO KNOW HOW TO TREAT POISONING?!"

A small groan escaped Kakuzu. "Don't be such a drama queen. I do have four more hearts you know." He stood, albeit a bit woozily, ignoring the people as they ran screaming from the restaurant. He coughed and propped himself up with one arm. "Where's that waitress bitch? My head is killing me." He reached his free hand up to rub at it's corresponding temple.

Hidan jumped on the table and hugged Kakuzu around the neck, nuzzling his head. "She went into the back," he said. "She might still be in there. Fucking bitch, I'll kill her for sure."

Kakuzu pushed his clingy partner aside and kicked open the door to the kitchen. "Alright, where is she?"

The chef jumped. "The waitress?!" he asked.  
Hidan lifted his scythe and pointed it at the ice box. "Who the fuck else?"  
"She went out the back door," he said.

Kakuzu growled and ran to the door, seeing the woman turn the corner. He followed her with speed only a ninja was capable of and was in front of her in a matter of seconds.

The woman puffed her hair out of her face. "I guess I didn't put in enough poison. It was supposed to destroy all five of your hearts." She crouched down, her skirt lifted up to reveal a waterfall village headband tied to her thy. "A small miscalculation." She sprung back and formed several hand signs. "Ninja art: Gekiha Bakufu (Crushing Waterfall) no Jutsu!" A surge of water appeared and wrapped around Kakuzu and squeezed him tightly.

Kakuzu tried his best to growl, but it only made the water tighten. He had thought that face looked familiar. "Shinobu...Natsumi..." he breathed, "'s been awhile. You... were jus' a little girl las' time I...saw you..."

Natsumi gave a tiny smile before it when back to it's previous glare. "Hmm... It has," she tilted her head to the side. "I always thought you were a lady's man, but you let some man feel you up, and a priest of Jashin no less." Natsumi chuckled, and walked up to Kakuzu. "I don't find psychopaths very attractive, however." She reached up and ripped of his mask, she did not even blink. "Hmm... I imagined you to be uglier."

"Kakuzu!" Hidan appeared around the corner. "What's taking you so long?!"

Natsumi lifted her hand up and fired a senbon at Hidan not taking her eyes off of Kakuzu's. It went through his jugular. "Shut up and writhe in pain for a bit will you?"

Hidan went rigged and fell to the ground, is body spasming wildly; his mouth open in a silent scream.

Now Kakuzu was angry. Tendrils snuck out of the water, sneaking under the stream and wrapping around Natsumi, they began to squeeze just as the water was doing to him. "Take tha' out of him…" he breathed, using all his energy to glare down at the woman.

She simply smiled. "The great heartless Kakuzu is worried about a man that can't die." Natsumi said roughly. "How sickening: He grabs your dick and then you care. Did I only have to do that so you wouldn't kill my father? Asking you not too wasn't good enough I guess." Her smile turned wicked. "Your dear Warai-chan and the spawn you had with her must be so cross with you."

Kakuzu tried to look not as surprised as he was. "They're dead...doesn't matter..." How did she know of his deceased wife and child anyways, she was but a child herself. Though, he was sure she knew the comment had done its job, for he did feel dreadfully guilty.

Natsumi lurched forward slightly. "I guess I shouldn't have been so careless." Her eyes dimmed and she fell, a large pike sticking out of her back. The water that had been binding Kakuzu sloshed to the ground.  
"Fucking bitch."

Kakuzu stood, looking down at the now-corpse. "Thank you Hidan, but you should have stayed out of it." He closed his eyes and bowed to the body; not the cheesy, half bows he normally gave, but a slow, long bow from the hip. Not even Sir Leader got that kind of respect.

"C'mon," he said, gently sliding the pike out from between the women's shoulder blades before picking her up bridal style, "we have to bury her."

Hidan got to his feet shakily, his face still pained. "No you bury her, and I'll say a fucking prayer for her heathen soul," he panted out, leaning on his scythe. "Damn, what did that whore put in me? I'm in more pain then the time you smashed my balls." Hidan could not even take a step before he slid back down to his knees. "Ah fuck. Just go without me, I'll pray for her here."

Kakuzu scooped his partner up and threw him over his shoulder. "Don't you dare pray for her Hidan, you have no idea what you got yourself into. Actually...you have no idea what you just ended." He began to walk back the way they had came, into the forest.

"Wait, you want to bury her and you want her to go to hell?" Hidan asked, "Normally when you bury an enemy you want them to move to a happy afterlife."

"One, Hidan, she isn't my enemy - so to speak. And two, no I don't want her to go to your messed up after life." He sighed as he realized he was going to have to talk about his past. He shuddered. "Okay, look, I'm going to try and make this as least painful on my part as possible so bare with me:

A long, long time ago, back when I was a kid, my father and this woman's..._great _grandfather ruled the waterfall village. Though, it wasn't called that back then." He sighed, it hurt so much to open up and it was evident in his voice. "They, got into a dispute over land and of money...and, her clan chased us out of the village and sent their hunter nins to kill off everyone." He licked his lips. "I was able to get away and snuck my arranged bride - Warai - away too and…look, we're just the lasts of rival clans okay!"

"Oh..." Hidan looked somewhat melancholy, "Okay..." Hidan remained silent while Kakuzu buried the girl, only fingering his rosary now and then. When Kakuzu finished, Hidan jumped forward and hugged him tightly.

Kakuzu pushed Hidan away. "We need to find a hotel. I was hoping to reach the next town before midnight, but we've wasted too much time." He began his walk back to town, expecting Hidan to follow him by tracing his chakra signature. There was no way he was leading Hidan on again.

Hidan stumbled after Kakuzu. This was perfect, he could not see, he was in constant pain - when would that god damned poison wear off - and now Kakuzu hated him. After the tenth time he tripped - he had only been walking for a few minutes and he felt that Kakuzu was a good deal ahead of him. "Kakuzu! Don't leave me!" Hidan screeched, reaching out his hand. "Please don't, I'm scared."

From his perch in one of the trees – he had hidden his chakra to watch Hidan fumble about – he watch his partner collapse. He did not move to help, he just wanted to see how far Hidan would go to get help.

Hidan bit his lower lip: he could not sense Kakuzu anymore. He stood up and attempted to run but fell after only two steps. Kakuzu just left him. He never did that. He would always turn around and get him. Hidan sat up and ripped the blindfold off, hoping that somehow his sight was back, but, of course, it was not.  
"Kakuzu! I'm sorry! What ever I did I'm sorry!" Hidan wrapped his arms around himself and lent forward. "'Kuzu please!" Hidan could only think of one thing that might work. It had worked when he had been a child; everyone would rush to him when he did it. So he curled into a ball and cried.

Kakuzu's eyes fell halfway closed as he watched his partner break down. He stood on the branch. "Did you really think I'd leave you?" he said flatly.

Hidan jumped. "I did!" he screamed. "I thought you were mad at me! You cut my head off, you hit me, you break my bones, and you say I'm worthless! How could I possibly not think you would just leave me here!" Hidan began to sob. "Kakuzu... Why did you do that?"

The stitched nin remained quiet. It hurt so much to see Hidan like that, but he suppressed the pull at his remaining hearts, telling himself it was for the better. He refused to take Hidan down with him, down to hell with him.

If Jashinism was in fact the correct religion, he refused to steal away something so wonderful, something so perfect. If it was wrong, however, he would explain in hell and they would have the rest of eternity to either be upset with one another, or be the lovers they could not be on earth: Money made the underworld turn as well, he would have the advantage.

Hidan stood up and looked around. "'Kuzu, why aren't you helping me?" Hidan's hand went to his rosary, he ripped it off and threw it on the ground. "Please! I'll leave my religion for you! Please just don't ignore me!"  
Hidan however soon lurched to the ground and looked for his rosary, putting it back on quickly when he found it. "You know things have changed in my religion! I'm only fallowing the old ways! I'll worship the way we do now! Then I can be with you! Say something! GOD DAMN IT FUCKING SAY SOMETHING**!**"

Kakuzu looked on sadly, watching the beloved rosary tossed to the ground then picked up soon after. He knew Hidan would never leave his god for some_thing_ like him. "Let's go get a hotel," he said, jumping off the tree. He grabbed Hidan's upper arm and forced him to walk back into town, his chakra visible once more.

Hidan moved swiftly, removing Kakuzu's mask and kissing him forcefully.

Once more Kakuzu pushed the smaller man away, this time all the way to the ground. "Touch me again and I will leave you for real." He glared down at Hidan, two of his remaining hearts were breaking, and the others told him it was for the best. His mind, for once, was horribly conflicted. He could hurt Hidan's body all he wanted with no repercussions, but there was something about hurting his soul that would not sit right with him.

"Then leave me!" Hidan screeched, grabbing his ring and throwing it to the ground. "I'm leaving this peace of shit organization! I see no point in staying if I can't have you!" Hidan's lower lip trembled. "I can't believe I thought you cared!" He then ripped of the cloak. "All you wanted was someone to fuck. I bet that's all you thought your slut of a wife was good for!"

Kakuzu growled, he grabbed Hidan's neck and punched him in the face over and over. "Don't you dare, bring Warai into this." He hissed, dropping his smaller partner to the ground. "Unlink her, I'm ending our relationship before it begins. It doesn't give me a chance to ruin it." He turned away. "I'm doing what's best for you but you're to big of an idiot to see that."

"If you leave me I'll kill myself!" Hidan snapped. "And I can do it! I only need to perform a ritual and ask Jashin to take away my immortality, and then I will die! I've seen other priest do it, and I know how to perform it!" This had to work, if Kakuzu did care he would stay.

"At least you'll go to heaven," he said quietly. He looked sadly over his shoulder at the man. "It would be better to go to heaven now, than go to hell with me. You don't deserve that."

"If I can't be with you in this life or the next, then I will be in hell." Hidan stood and walked away, but tripped and fell yet again.

Despite his best efforts to stay angry with the priest, Kakuzu could not help but let out a small laugh at the display. He walked over to Hidan and scooped him up, throwing the smaller over his shoulder. It was seeming to become his favorite place to keep Hidan as of late. "Come on you idiot," he said, walking back to town.

Hidan began to struggle, flailing about. "Put me down!" he screamed. "Don't touch me! I said I was leaving this stupid organization! There is no point if I can't be with you." He then began to cry again. "Do you want me as a lover or not?" He clawed at Kakuzu's back. "Will you love me?"

"That hurts," he mumbled before sighing heavily. "I don't know Hidan. Yes, I'm sure I do. But…it's complicated. I have to think." He turned into a hotel, paying for a small, cheap room. Kakuzu tossed Hidan onto the bed, hammering his hands into the walls with a kunai. "Stay, I'm going to get your things." And he left, returning in only a few minutes.

Hidan lifted his head from the pillow on the bed and looked in Kakuzu's direction, the covers pulled up to his neck. It was obvious that he was naked underneath. He sat up and the covers pooled around his waist. "Kakuzu, am I attractive to you?"

"How did you get unstuck from the wall?" He picked up his kunai, cleaning it of the blood and placing it back in his pouch. He began to undress, needing a shower badly. "Of course you are Hidan."

Hidan lifted his hands to show he had pulled them down so the kunai had sliced through the skin until they had come loose. He then slid out of the bed and came up behind Kakuzu and hugged him - it was a little difficult because of the masks. His hands stroking his partners now bare chest. "I think your attractive too, Kakuzu."

Kakuzu gave a short, sarcastic laugh. "You've only seen my feet, face, and hands uncovered. I'm a monster, Hidan, there's no way you'd find me attractive."

"I can see you with my hands," Hidan said. "And my views on what's beautiful are different from others. These stitches are a turn on, and I can only feel them. I wonder where else you have them." Hidan's hands trailed beneath the waist band of Kakuzu's pants.

Kakuzu clasped Hidan's wrists in his hands. "My you're very perverted for a virgin." He glanced at the clock on the wall. "I suppose I can shower later," he smirked down at Hidan and pushed the young Jashinist onto the bed, climbing up on top of him.

- - - -

**End:** March 31, 2008


	3. Chapter 3

Start: March 31, 2008

**Keri: **Sorry all! I would've had this up sooner but I moved and hadn't any internet --;;;

**Start:** March 31, 2008

- - - -

Hidan woke and yawned, feeling around for Kakuzu. When the younger found him, he pounced and held him tight.

Kakuzu groaned and rolled over, holding Hidan like a teddy bear. "You're not supposed to get up this early." He yawned as well. "Guess I didn't do a good job, hm?"

He bit the crook of Kakuzu's neck and then sucked on the skin lightly. "You did fine," Hidan said, moving to kiss the underside of his now lover's neck. "No one could have done better."

"I need to shower," he mumbled, nuzzling the top of Hidan's head with a sigh. "I'm going to shower, you're going to get on the phone and order some muffins, and then you're going to do the same once I'm out." Kakuzu sat up and ran a hand through his hair. "Don't go crazy with the room service or we're never getting it again, okay?"

"Okay, but be quick," Hidan said, kissing Kakuzu on the cheek, his tongue sliding in between the skin. "But I don't think they'll respond well to a man covered in dried blood and semen." Hidan then pulled away and grabbed the receiver of the phone. "What kind would you like?" he asked.

Kakuzu gave a dry laugh at Hidan's comment. "I'll eat whatever; do you need help dialing?" He leaned over his lover to watch his hand on the buttons.

"Yea, I don't know what button gets room service on the line," Hidan said, shuddering due to the feeling of Kakuzu's stitches rubbing against his skin. "But before I call and you take a shower, can I have one of those kisses?"  
Kakuzu grumbled something about Hidan being too clingy, but he pushed Hidan onto his back nonetheless, and took his lips up into his own. "There," he breathed, "better?" He ran a hand across Hidan's chest, licking his lips.

Hidan smiled and stretched. "Much better," he replied. "So what's the number for room service?"

Kakuzu shrugged, not caring that Hidan could not see it. He went over to the phone and scanned the list of numbers that was taped next to it. "Seven-six-six," he said, "Six-seven-three-eight." Kakuzu turned back to the Jashinist. "Got it?"

Hidan nodded and dialed in the numbers. After a while his face fell and he slammed the receiver down. "Fuck it," he snapped. "They said they're not serving breakfast any more." Hidan grabbed Kakuzu and kissed his chest.

He sighed and pushed Hidan off. "Then we'll pick something up on our way out of town." He entered the bathroom, turning the cold knob all the way before getting in. Unlike his partner, he only took a few minutes to shower, and was out and pulling on some clean clothes in ten minutes. "What're you in the mood for?" He said tucking his hair back into his hood.

Hidan stood and scratched at the mess on his stomach. "Ohagi or botamochi," he said, walking to the bathroom. "Neither should cost much."  
Kakuzu clicked his tongue; he was never one for sweets. "Fine, but only because we got to walk out on the lunch bill." He stood in the door way, watching Hidan fumble around. "I'll give you a bath if you want." It was not meant to sound suggestive. Nope, it sure was not.

The suggestion did not cross Hidan's mind as sexual. "Really?" he asked, a smile on his face. "That would be helpful, thank you."

Kakuzu led Hidan to the bathtub, sitting him on the side as he looked for an appropriate temperature. Once that task had been done, he helped Hidan in so he would not slip and crack his skull open. "How's that?" he asked, opening the cupboards in search of a washcloth and perhaps a pitcher.

"It's a little cooler then I like," Hidan replied, cupping water in his hands and splashing his face, "but other then that it's nice." Hidan tilted his head to the right and massaged the muscles in his neck.

"Deal," Kakuzu grunted, using the pitcher to dump water onto Hidan's head. "We have to hurry, I want to be in the next town by lunch. Preferably with our target dead." He ran his fingers through Hidan's hair, trying to un-clump the hair that was held together with dried blood and sweat.

"I never said I didn't like it," Hidan said sounding somewhat snappy. He rubbed his stomach, succeeding in cleaning it a bit. "Hey, Kakuzu... Do I have dried blood on my penis?"

"Yeah, but you can wash it when I'm out of the room." He grabbed the shampoo and began working it through Hidan's hair.

Hidan shifted uncomfortably: he had been taught to keep himself clean, the knowledge that he was dirty made him feel upset. Kakuzu would not mind, so Hidan grabbed himself and went through the motions of cleaning. Even pulling back the foreskin to clean the glands.

Kakuzu covered his eyes, honing in on Hidan's chakra to punch him in the face. "I told you to wait until I left!" He stood, keeping his eyes covered. "Now you have to wash yourself." And he left, slamming the door behind him.

Hidan held his broken and bleeding nose, letting out a small whimper. Pinching his nose closed he jumped out of the tub – slipping just as Kakuzu had predicted - and rushed into the room and proceeded to bleed all over Kakuzu, and Kakuzu's things.

Ah yes, nothing better then getting your ass of a partner and his things dirty. Then, to make things even worse, bleed all over the room. Kakuzu would have to part with a good deal of money now. Finally, Hidan impaled himself on his scythe and then lay on the bed and for good measure - jacked off on it as well. "Eat that ass... wipe..." Hidan then fell unconscious from blood loss.

Kakuzu had watched the entire display, completely unfazed. He sighed and returned to the shower, cleaning the other's blood off of him. Once that had been done, he unplugged the bathtub and collected his and Hidan's dirty clothes, taking them down stairs to the public wash room.

A half an hour later, he returned and kicked Hidan in the head. "Wake up, get dressed, time to go. And for your little episode, we're not getting any food. I ate while waiting for our laundry to dry."

Hidan lifted his hand and flipped Kakuzu off, while the he stroked himself. "Fuck you asshat," he snarled. "I ate the leftovers from the people next door. I also changed the sheets and took another bath." Hidan then rolled onto his side facing away from Kakuzu. He laughed. "I guess Jashin-sama could care less if I have sex. I'm still alive."

Kakuzu tried desperately not to watch his partner jack off, but found the lure too strong and buried his eyes in one hand. "Is puberty just now catching up with you?" He threw a pair of clean pants at Hidan. "Finish up and let's go. I'm going to be pissed as hell if we don't get there on time. We've already wasted three days and have nothing to show for it."

Hidan sat up and pulled his pants on. "I don't need to finish," he said shrugging. He stood and used his feet to locate his cloak. "Kakuzu, where's my ring?"

"On the table," Kakuzu picked up Hidan's scythe and threw it at him. "Catch," he watched it hit Hidan in the head.

Hidan held the wound tightly; he had been having an awful headache and nausea after his slip in the bathroom. This resent hit did the job and Hidan threw up. "Fuck, Kakuzu," he muttered before he threw up again. "I think I've hit my head too many times. And I still need you to stitch my skull closed. I could get an infection."

Kakuzu growled in frustration. He sat on the edge of the bed and pulled Hidan into his lap. "Idiot, you need to be more careful!" He was anything but gentle with the stitching. "Now we're going to be delayed yet another day because you had to go and be stupid. I hope you're happy."

Hidan snarled, his left hand had gone numb now. He grabbed Kakuzu's throat with his right hand and squeezed with an iron grip. "Be careful yourself!" he snarled. "I've neglected to tell you this, but injuries to my brain can take weeks, even months to heal. So go slow, or it will take even longer."

Kakuzu did not even flinch. "So that's what all this blindness has been about." He grabbed Hidan's wrist and forced him to lie on the bed. "Rest, it's too late to go out now and make our deadline - again - we'll go tomorrow." He turned away from Hidan, tugging on his coat and he turned to leave the room.

"No!" Hidan jumped out of the bed. "I'm not staying here! We are going to leave and get to the next place by tonight." Hidan then stumbled around the room, it took twenty minutes, but he was soon ready to go. "Now let's get the fuck out of here!" Hidan shrieked, dragging his hand along the wall until he found the doorknob. "Let's go already!

The older sighed in obvious aggravation. "Fine, but if you pass out I'm leaving you." He grabbed Hidan's wrist, not nearly as tightly as one would think by how angry he was acting, and led him out onto the street. "Should we go through the town, or find a back ally and go around?"

"Going through is faster," Hidan said simply. He suddenly turned to Kakuzu and smiled. "I can see it's sunny out," he said sheepishly. "When I get my sight back can we have sex again? I want to see you."

"I suppose," Kakuzu tried not to sound as eager as he actually was. "Come on, let's get going." He said, glad to finally be starting their mission. Hopefully they could get to the next town before nightfall with few distractions.

Hidan smiled and tugged on Kakuzu's arm. His sight would be back in no time and he would be able to see his lover. He simply could not wait!

-

Unfortunately, just as Kakuzu had expected, the two Akatsuki were not able to reach the next town before dusk and the taller was fairly annoyed by the entire situation. As they walked the streets looking for a hotel – or in Hidan's case, pretending he could see in order to look for a hotel – Kakuzu had to control him self not to lash out and take his anger out on Hidan. He did not want a repeat of the restaurant.  
Hidan squeezed Kakuzu's hand: he could tell that Kakuzu was on edge. "Kakuzu, if you want, we could go in an alley and you could vent on me," he nuzzled Kakuzu's arm. "I don't care."

Kakuzu breathed heavily, trying to get himself under control. "Let's just find a hotel. If it isn't too bad, I might not have to." He dragged Hidan towards the nearest one. "We would like to check in," he said to the girl at the counter. Like the town, she was dirty and looked a little worn out, yet still fairly young. Kakuzu knew this was not a very good place to be – Deidara had nearly been raped last time he was here, Kakuzu had had to stitch his stomach closed so he would not loose his organs.

He kept a tighter hold on Hidan, doubly worried that he would not be able to defend himself well do to his blinded state. "One night, one bed, and a bathroom if you have one."

"Yes we have a room that fits your needs," the woman said, a look of disgust suddenly crossed her face. "Would you like a girl too? No extra cost." It was obvious she did not like adding in the last few words.  
Hidan made a small noise at what she said and leaned against Kakuzu. Hidan did not like such things.

"No, we're fine, thank you." Kakuzu strained the last few words. But he had all the woman he needed clinging to the back of his coat. The stitched man squeezed Hidan's wrist reassuringly before he glanced at the two men playing shogi out of the corner of his eye: they were eyeing _his_ Hidan-kun. He pulled Hidan closer to him, even if he was behind him.

"What's wrong, Kakuzu?" Hidan asked. "You keep bringing me closer."  
The woman smiled sweetly, making her appear younger. "Good." She gave a quick glance to Hidan. "And you best keep him close," she winked, "I recognize the cloaks. I hope the blonde one is doing alright."

"He's doing better," he picked up the keys to their room and led Hidan up the stairs, locking the door behind them once they had entered. "You stay in here and don't let anyone in for any reason, understand? Unlike Sasori, I'm going to try and keep you safe. That idiot puppet should have known better than to leave someone like Deidara alone in a place like this." He sighed heavily; at least he knew why they had not done this mission.

Hidan nodded and listened to Kakuzu leave. After awhile he needed to use the rest room, and looked around for it. The second room smelt awful and when he stepped in, he heard a wet squelching noise. He was **not** using it! So, with difficulty, he found the lobby. "Hey, lady! Where's there another bathroom?" He asked.  
The woman looked up. "Let me show you." She escorted Hidan to the restroom and took her leave. Hidan went, washed his hands, and got lost trying to get to the room.

"My dear boy, are you lost?" A voice said behind Hidan, the woman had taken him to the restroom at the side of the hotel, the entrance to which was facing an ally. The man placed a hand on Hidan's bare shoulder, holding him in place. "Allow me to help you."

Hidan jumped and looked behind him, not that it would do any good. He suddenly felt very sick. He could remember Deidara lifting up his shirt to show of the stitches Kakuzu gave him to fix up the injury he had gotten. He had then proceeded to tell him that the whole ordeal had a good outcome. As Deidara said: "It made Sasori-danna realize how much he loved me, hmm!"  
"Um, no I'm fine." Hidan attempted to shake the greasy hand off his shoulder. "I'll just go out front and wait for my partner to come back."

"But that could be quite awhile," the man said, pressing up against Hidan's back. He held the flat side of a knife to Hidan's neck, "Why don't we have a little fun while we wait?"

Hidan swallowed hard. "Listen, don't give me any trouble," he said, "I'm a ninja."

The man chuckled, "So am I," he breathed against Hidan's ear. "But you're the blind one," he licked the rim of Hidan's ear, pulling the smaller man closer to him. "So why even try?"

Hidan shivered: Fucking nasty! Why could not it be Kakuzu licking his ear? Why was it some horny dick that was settling for some blind man instead? "Because I'd rather get raped by a cannibal plant man from the land of grass," Hidan snapped, elbowing the man in the stomach before quickly lurching forward, hoping that the pervert's grip would have weakened. He did not care if the damned knife cut his throat, it would not kill him.

His attacker doubled over, the knife slicing Hidan's head off. "Oh god, oh fuck." The man said watching the silver topped head roll across the ground.

"Don't worry," Kakuzu hissed from the ally way, "he'll be okay." He glared down at the other man, kicking Hidan's head lightly. "Good job idiot, you found our target."

"You're very welcome. Now how about you or one of your spawn sew my head back on?!" Hidan said, referring to Kakuzu's heart beasts. "And kill that guy too, he was going to rape me. Better yet, cut off his dick and balls and then kill him!"

"Right," Kakuzu grumbled, he would deal with Hidan later. Pushing his body out of the way, Kakuzu approached Hidan's attacker. "I know Hidan's pretty and everything, but he's still my property and I'm not going to just let anyone eye-hump him."

The man backed away from Kakuzu, "A-Akatsuki," he breathed. He swallowed and regained his composer. "I thought it would only be a matter of time before you came looking for me." He then raised his hands, pointing them at Kakuzu, "Shuurai (Lightning Strike)!" Streams of lightning shot from his palms, racing towards the ex-waterfall nin.

Kakuzu jumped, avoiding the strike. "**Shinjuu Zanshu no Jutsu (Headhunter Jutsu)!" With ease, Kakuzu was able to force the man underground so just his head was showing. "Pathetic," he commented.**

Hidan sputtered. _His_ property?! He was not anyone's property. "You ass! I don't belong to you!" He said flabbergasted, using his neck to move, "Just because you did me up the ass doesn't mean I'm your slave or something!"

"You became my property the second you traded your vow of chastity for me." He said, squatting down to poke at Hidan's head. "Besides, you need me," he flicked the other's forehead, forcing him to roll over just to prove how weak and vulnerable he was.

"Whatever; just kill the guy." Great, now Kakuzu would probably never let him talk to Deidara ever again; stupid possessive, jealous freak.

"Tch, so ungrateful," Kakuzu stood and returned to their struggling prey, with a well placed kick the man's neck snapped and Kakuzu was digging him up. He placed the man on his shoulder before he looked over to Hidan with a sigh, threw his body over his other shoulder and picked up his head.  
As they reentered the hotel, Kakuzu turned to the woman. "Thanks for watching my stuff," he nodded to the two bentos sitting on the counter. "You wouldn't mind bringing those up for me, would you? My hands are kind of full."

The woman promptly fainted at the sight of Hidan's served head blinking at her  
"Kakuzu-kun, please sew my head back on." Hidan asked sweetly, yet put on no sweet face - there was no point after all. God, all Hidan wanted to do was take a shower, and kiss Kakuzu non-stop.

"I will in a minute," he put Hidan's head on the desk. "Stay," he pointed a finger and Hidan before he picked up the bentos and went back to their room. He placed Hidan's body on the bed, the other man's body on a chair, and the bentos on a table before he came back for Hidan.

Hidan whined loudly. Kakuzu did not even act like he cared about him at all. "Kakuzu! Please!"

"I'm getting to it," he growled, sitting back on the bed. "You know, this wouldn't have happened if you had just listened to me when I told you to stay in the room! You _never_ listen to me, Hidan!" He pulled the limp body into his lap, but instead of stitching Hidan's head back into place, his flipped it over and began to write on his back in thick, permanent stitches. "Maybe this will teach you a lesson."

"You told me to not let anyone in!" Hidan whined. "And I found the guy we were looking for!" Hidan moved his neck and fell on the floor. "What are you writing: 'Property of Kakuzu' or what?" He asked. "I won't be able to read it!"

"No, I told you to stay inside! And just because you found the guy doesn't mean you get off the hook!" That was exactly what he was writing, but like hell he would tell Hidan.

Hidan muttered angrily. "Just hurry up."

"There," he said, picking Hidan's head back up. "Now to fix you then we can eat. Although, I don't think you deserve yours," He said playfully, running a hand through Hidan's hair before sticking the needle into his abused flesh. "I just hope that knife wasn't rusty. The last thing you need is an infection."

"Did you wash your hands after you did whatever?" Hidan asked as Kakuzu sewed his head back on, "Why does the bathroom smell so bad?" When Hidan's head was attached enough for him to move he gripped Kakuzu tightly. "Jashin I feel so dirty, he licked my ear," he whimpered. "Kakuzu, hold me, touch me, and make his actions go away."  
"You make me feel dirty," he said quietly. Kakuzu put the needle away and climbed up to the headboard. Resting against a pillow he pulled Hidan into his arms with a content sigh.

Hidan moved is head as if he was listening to music, opening his bento to pluck out some of the food and put it in his mouth. He winced slightly. "Kakuzu, I have a bad headache," he said, slinking into his partner's lap. "It hasn't let up at all." Hidan rolled over and spread himself out like a cat, "I feel like barfing too."

Kakuzu swallowed and pulled Hidan back into his lap, checking his temperature. "Weren't you sick in the last town too? I think you should rest for a little while." He clicked his tongue and looked around, wishing he had picked a cleaner hotel. He lay Hidan down before getting up. "Stay and I mean it this time. I'll only be gone for a second." He unlocked the door and left, locking it behind him. Going down the stairs, he peeked around the corner to make sure the hostess was awake. "You alright?" he said casually, trying to act normal but feeling very awkward since he had left his coat upstairs.

The woman jumped and looked at Kakuzu, a look of nervousness crossed her face. "Y-yes thank you." She bit her lip. "Uh... How is your companion?"

"He's not feeling too well, but other than that fine. You wouldn't happen to have a bucket and a washcloth would you? Both clean, preferably."

The woman nodded and darted into a room that was behind the desk. She reappeared with a bleached-white bucket and washcloth. "Here you are, sir. Just leave it outside your door when you're done."

He nodded and returned to his room, placing the bucket on the edge of the bed by Hidan. "If you have to puke, do it in there." He went to the bathroom, his nose wrinkled as he looking around. Fortunately his masked muffled the smell. He turned on the sink, letting the water run for a minute before he soaked the washcloth. Kakuzu returned to the room and placed it on Hidan's face. "Does that feel better?"

Hidan shook his head. "No..." Hidan's face soon turned angry and he kicked Kakuzu hard in the stomach, after that he clawed at Kakuzu's face ripping his facial stitches. The whole time Hidan scram insults at him.

Thick threads wrapped Hidan in a black cocoon, pushing him onto his bottom. "What the hell is your problem?" Kakuzu growled. The stitches were already fixing themselves, but the cuts would take a few days to heal. He wiped the blood off his face as he glared daggers at the other man. "Here I am trying to be nice to you, and you attack me? What the fuck, Hidan!"

Hidan struggled for a few minutes before going limp. "Kakuzu... why am I all... wrapped up?" he asked, his chest heaving. "'Kuzu..." His eyes suddenly dilated and he grew violent again. "Fucking heathen! Get your slimy shit off me! How dare you stick your diseased dick in me!" Hidan's angered yells turned into hysteric laughter, which then melted into sobs.

Kakuzu stared at Hidan, what was going on with him? He walked over to the phone, dialing the number for the reception desk. "Hi, yeah, do you know a doctor that would be open at this hour?"

"No I'm sorry sir. The only doctor is in the next town. If you like I could give you the medic book we have. I can drop it off at your room."

"Yes, please do." He hung up and looked at his confusing partner. "You aren't going Zetsu on me, are you?"

Hidan's chest heaved. His sobbing had stopped, but he had gone back to his angry ranting.

The woman called through the door. "I'll leave the book here. I heard what he was saying. I think it has to do with his central nervous system."

Kakuzu peeked his head out the door and took the book. "Thanks; you know, you really should get out of this to-OW Fuck Hidan I'mma beat your sorry ass if you don't stop biting me!"

"I'm afraid I can't leave." The woman said, giving a small wink, "Someone has to take care of the girls here. Now you take care of him." She then headed back to the front desk.

He shut the door and turned back to Hidan. "Are you going to let me help you or not?" Kakuzu opened the book to the section on the central nervous system, he may as well take the woman's advice since she seemed to know what she was talking about. He flipped around until he found something similar to what Hidan had. "Idiot," he muttered at he read up on it.

Hidan did not answer Kakuzu, as he was leaning over the side of the bed vomiting. When he finished he laid still, his arms and legs twitching rhythmically.

"Good, I'm glad to see you're cooperating." Kakuzu sighed heavily as he read the treatment. "Okay, time to get to work." Threads once more wrapped around Hidan. "Okay, look, you're a moron and gave yourself a brain abscess. I'm going to need to poke a hole in your skull to drain it. Doesn't that sound fun?"

In response, Hidan lifted his hand and tried to flip Kakuzu off, but the unneeded fingers only curled slightly.

"Lovely," Kakuzu held Hidan down and moved a thread up to Hidan's head. "This might hurt," he shoved the thread into Hidan's skull.

Hidan let out a small whine and began to cry, something he would never do. But he was feeling far more emotional than normal. "Idiot, this is your fault..." he whimpered, "If you had never cut my head off at the base..."

Kakuzu felt that maybe, maybe, he should just let Hidan blame him. But, of course, he did not. "If you hadn't beaten your own head against a rock this wouldn't have happened; or if you had stayed inside like I told you. I cut you to pieces at the base all the time and this never happens. I bet it's just from this place being so…disgusting." He sighed and ran his fingers through Hidan's hair, trying to make it seem like he was just moving the locks and not at all trying to comfort him. "Are you feeling anything close to normal?"

"Who's the one who kicked me along the ground for six hours? Do you even know what I rolled through?!" Hidan whined. "Who didn't sew my head on immediately when it was cut off in a dirty alley? Kakuzu, do you even love me?"

Kakuzu remained quiet as he waited for Hidan's skull to stop draining. He did not know whether or not he did love Hidan. He still felt painfully guilty about stealing him from his religion, and ever since the fight with Natsumi he was feeling more and more depressed about his wife and daughter. "Hidan…I-I don't know if I do."

Hidan suddenly felt sick, he felt dirty. While he had no clue what a romantic relationship was like, Hidan did have views on what one should be like. They were really childish views, fantasies. They had all come from listening to the other children at the temple - the ones who could have sex and not worry about Jashin becoming angry - banter like fools. And this was not what he thought romance should be like.

He had given up... everything. His purity - something that was sacred even if you were a common worshiper - belonged not only to someone who was the definition of sin, but a **man**: A man who didn't love him. "Oh Jashin..." Hidan gagged, "I-I... I let some, some disgusting man touch me." His stomach heaved and Hidan vomited again. He wanted to bathe, scrub his skin off: Hidan began to sob.

The waterfall nin placed a hand on Hidan's back. "Stop moving, you're going to hurt yourself!" Kakuzu sighed and once the abscess had stopped draining, he unwrapped Hidan and pulled him into his arms. "Look, I'm sorry, okay. I-I've been without anyone for over six hundred years, you just can't expect me to just love you right off the bat."  
He held Hidan closer, tilting his head to look at him, even if Hidan was still blind. "I really don't even think we have a healthy relationship. You make me so angry all the time, I have no idea how I can manage to put up with you; but I guess you can say me managing to do so is a step towards love, right?"

"Kakuzu," Hidan turn around and pushed Kakuzu down onto the bed and kissed him, biting his partner's bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. He then pulled away. "I need you by my side so bad. I don't want to be alone." Hidan then dove back to Kakuzu's lips and kissed him roughly while his right hand reached down the massage the older man's groin.

Kakuzu's first instinct was to push the younger away, but he then realized how badly Hidan needed this. He closed his eyes and kissed him back, sucking on Hidan's lower lip for a moment before shoving his tongue into the other's mouth.  
He pulled back and ran a hand through Hidan's hair once more. "We need to shower. You have blood all over you." He smiled slightly, but dropped it after a second; he scooped Hidan up into his arms and took the other into the bathroom. "I'll try and stand a warm shower for you, alright?"

Hidan sucked on Kakuzu's earlobe. "You'll like a warm shower, it's very relaxing."

Kakuzu set Hidan on the counter and moved to turn the water on. He helped Hidan to his feet and began to undress him. "I don't really like warm water, my skin get all blotchy and tight." Kakuzu tugged off his hood, his mask already pulled down from Hidan's oral attack, before throwing off his shirt and pants. "But I'll survive." He opened the shower door and led Hidan in; he recoiled at the feel of water on his back.

Hidan pulled Kakuzu to sit down in the shower. "Kakuzu, um, I'd like to try something I heard Deidara talk about."

"What is it?" He said hesitantly. He was beginning to suspect that Iwagakure no Deidara was not the best of influences.

"I don't know what it's called, but Deidara told Itachi that Kisame would like it." Hidan crouched down in between Kakuzu's legs, "I want to see if you like it." Hidan felt around until he found his penis, enveloping it in his mouth.

Half of Kakuzu wanted to push Hidan off, the other half wanted to push him down farther, "Ngh, Hidan," he breathed, "I-I'm not even in the mood for - ah - sex…" He shuddered and spread his legs farther apart.

Hidan pulled away, his hand resuming the work his mouth had been doing. "You don't need to do anything, Kakuzu," he then resumed his previous actions until Kakuzu came in his mouth; kissing his partner after.

Kakuzu moaned into the kiss, pulling Hidan away. "You're wasting all your precious hot water." He licked the side of Hidan's neck, not caring in the slightest. He caressed his lover's back, more than happy to just sit there now even though he was the one pushing to get clean in the first place.

Hidan ran his fingers through the stitched man's hair, massaging the scalp. "Did you like it?" He kissed Kakuzu again, far more deeply, making sure that Kakuzu would taste his own semen.

When the kiss was broken, Kakuzu stuck out his own tongue. "What, the hot water? No, I find it annoying. Or did you mean the blowjob, because I liked that." He smiled and kissed Hidan's nose.

He scowled and stood up. "Don't treat me like a little kid." Hidan felt around for a bar of soap. When he found one he went through the process of bathing, making sure he gave a good show of it.

The taller man swallowed, watching his partner wriggling around under that hot water, rubbing himself down. He felt his cheeks flush and was thankful once more for Hidan's blindness. Kakuzu stood, wrapping his arms around Hidan, kissing his ear. "Why do you have to be so attractive?"

Hidan smiled " I take after my mom, seriously. My dad looked like Kisame." Hidan kissed Kakuzu's scarred chest.

Kakuzu laughed at the comment. "How sad, don't be mean to your father," he kissed the top of Hidan's head. "And Kisame puts up with a lot and doesn't care what people think: I respect that."  
He glanced at the shower taps; the cold knob was right there. Why must he endure this fiery hell? Was sex from a pretty man worth it? He sighed sadly and turned his head back around to rest it atop Hidan's. "Stupid warm water," he mumbled into the silvery locks.

"My father is out looking for me; and when he finds me, he'll try and kill me." Hidan grabbed Kakuzu's face. "If he finds me, will you fight to keep me here?"

"Of course I will Hidan," he stroked the other's face lightly. "You're the only partner that works." Kakuzu ran his hands along Hidan's sides, making it seem like he was just trying to get the soap off of him.

Hidan snorted. "You can touch me Kakuzu. No need to be modest." He smiled cruelly. "Do what ever you want, I'm all yours."  
"Is that so? Well an hour ago you were claiming you were not, in fact, my property." Kakuzu ran his fingers over the stitching on Hidan's back. "Or have you suddenly changed your mind? You seem to change it quite often: Weren't you just saying I was a quote-unquote disgusting man?" He could not help but tease.

"Fuck you, old man!" Hidan snapped. "Do you want to touch me, or piss me off? You choose the latter and I'll never suck your dick again."

Kakuzu whined but kept his mouth shut. He had a few choice words to give Hidan, but figured cuddling was more important. For Hidan, not him. Nope, Kakuzu was above snuggles. "Jerk," he mumbled at last, kissing the top of Hidan's head to make up for the playful words.

Hidan slid out of Kakuzu's grasp and stepped out of the shower. "You can make the water cold now, I'm going to bed." He grabbed a towel and dried himself off. He did not bother getting dressed and slipped under the blankets, sighing contently.

The waterfall nin turned the tap, cooling off his skin before he too stepped out. Although, he did not bother to dry as he slid in the bed with Hidan. "This place is gross. Remind me not to let us stay here again." Kakuzu snuggled Hidan up close to him. "No matter how cheap it is."

"Sure, but do you mean this hotel or this town?" Hidan asked, scratching his chest.

"Both if we can," Kakuzu yawned, flipping so he was on his back, one arm still resting under Hidan. A possessive hand grabbed his hair gently. "'S not that bad; if we had to stay here again, I would. The people are nice enough – for the most part." He closed his eyes, waiting to end the conversation he told himself Hidan was forcing and sleep to take him.

Hidan sighed. While he did not show it, he was exhausted. He rolled over and threw his arm over Kakuzu's chest. "G'night, 'Kuzu."

- - - -

**Keri:** This chapter makes very little sense in some places. I lol at our scatteredness!

By the way: "Asshat" is the best fucking insult ever.

**End:** April 9, 2008


	4. Chapter 4

Start: April 9, 2008

**Keri: **I know I promised regular updates, but these two are probably all you're going to get for now. I'll keep trying to get them up, but no promises.

**Start:** April 9, 2008

- - - -

How boring the day had been. Walking, eating, a few cases of the "bitch for an hour" disease from Hidan, and that had been all. Kakuzu had found the day most enjoyable. No enemies to fight, no targets to destroy, they had managed to get through three small villages in no time flat. Yes, Kakuzu was feeling most accomplished.

He set up a small cook fire, the stars all ready showing their faces. "Tired?" he asked Hidan, both their Akatsuki cloaks lying on Hidan's bed, the Jashinist on Kakuzu's. They both thought he looked better on Kakuzu's bed anyways.

Hidan looked lazily off into space. "Yeah, a little." He flexed his toes. "But my feet hurt more then anything."

"Don't skip around so much," he muttered, referring to a few hours ago when his partner had run into a tree. "Do we have any tofu left in our pack?" Kakuzu glanced over at Hidan.

"Hey! I thought it was you! It was big and bulky looking!" Hidan had gained more of his sight, but he had yet to see in color or detail; he began to rummage in their bag. "Yeah, I think we do. But can we go kill a rabbit or something? We need some smoked meat."

"Fine, go." Kakuzu waved a dismissive hand. "Just don't get lost, killed, or otherwise maimed. I don't want you to re-infect yourself." Of course keeping the worry out of his voice; he turned and picked up the tofu, some noodles and a cup and a half of rice, throwing them in a pan to fry up along with two eggs.

Hidan placed his hands on his hips and scoffed. "I'm not some fairy tail princess that can summon cute, furry animals with their charm and voice." He then pouted. "Besides, I may be getting my sight, but not enough so I can see a fucking rodent running about. Send one of your thread babies out to get something."

Kakuzu sighed harshly. "I'll go later then." He split the meal up onto two plates, handing one to Hidan. "Did you manage to keep the chopsticks safe?"

"Did you keep them safe? I wasn't carrying the bag." Hidan rummaged through the bag once again and took out two pairs of chopsticks. "You know 'Kuzu, it would be easier if you sent those things out for stuff, ya know berries and meat, but you never do. Why?"

"It's too dangerous," he said flatly. Kakuzu was not going to talk about himself, he refused. He would sleep with Hidan, cuddle with him, kiss him, and listen to him but hell would freeze over before he talked about himself when it was not necessary.

Hidan scurried to Kakuzu and sat next to him. "Hey, you still need a new heart, right?" He nuzzled the large man the way a cat who wanted to be petted would. "You can have mine. I'll grow a new one and then you won't have to worry about it being destroyed."

Kakuzu was needless to say surprised. "You-you'd give me your heart? Why?"

Hidan pulled away, only to wriggle his way under Kakuzu's arm. "I'm immortal, if you have my heart we would be together for ever," he leaned against the waterfall nin and sighed. "Wouldn't that be nice, 'Kuzu?"

It truly would be nice. Kakuzu pulled Hidan into his lap, setting both their food aside before doing so. He held the other tightly, caressing his hair gently. The embrace seemed nice enough, until long, thick threads unwove themselves from Kakuzu's flesh, ripping into Hidan's own, searching for his heart.

Kakuzu held Hidan tighter; he knew this was a painful process, many a ninja had screamed and cried and begged for mercy. He did not care that Hidan was masochistic, he just felt as though he needed to reassure Hidan that things would be okay and the pain would be soon over.

Hidan did not make a sound. It hurt, badly, but Kakuzu would be with him for eternity, and that thought made the pain far more tolerable. He rested his head on Kakuzu's shoulder and let out a shaky sigh.

He used his teeth to pull down his mask just enough to lay soft kisses on Hidan's sweating forehead. "Take a deep breath," Kakuzu said as the threads wrapped around the priest's heart.

Hidan took a deep, shuddering breath. He let out a small whimper when he felt the threads give a small tug on his now rapidly beating heart.  
"You have to calm down, Hidan. The more your heart beats the more it's going to hurt." The threads began to tighten around the major veins connecting his heart to the rest of his body. "I'm going to try and make it so you won't bleed to the point you pass-out, but you need to relax." Kakuzu ran a hand through Hidan's hair, trying to clam the shaking man.

Hidan gave a dry laugh, a laugh that would send shivers down the spines of many men. He smiled like a mad man. "Rip it out. Make me feel the worst pain you can."

"Stupid masochist," Kakuzu sighed before he did just that. With one good, strong tug he ripped the still beating heart from Hidan's chest, snapping the ribs that were in the way. The threads brought the bleeding vital into Kakuzu's chest to replace the one that had been poisoned. "How was that for pain?"

Hidan's back was arched, his mouth and eyes wide. "Fuck... it was... perfect." He inhaled sharply, his lips turning blue. With no heart to pump blood to his body, Hidan went limp, falling unconscious. His face became peaceful with the hint of a smile.

Kakuzu sighed sadly, stitching the wound closed. He ran a hand through Hidan's hair before cupping the younger's chin in his hand. "What am I going to do with you?" His hand lowered still until the fingers touched his metal rosary. Kakuzu scowled, "Fucking Jashin, fucking religion." His hand clasped tightly around the necklace and Kakuzu contemplated ripping it off and throwing it into a river.  
But he sighed again and tugged up his mask, picking Hidan up to lay the young man in their shared bed. He ran his hand through Hidan's hair again, sitting on the ground next to him, watching the other as he slept.

-

Hidan woke up a few hours later, his hand went to his neck instinctively, but he did not feel his pendant. Hidan let out a loud wail. "Kakuzu! Where is my rosary?!" Hidan fumbled about in an attempt to find it, "Where?! I need it!"

"Don't worry, I got it." Kakuzu was leaning against a tree, holding it by one of the top most beads watching it spin round and round slowly. The light from the moon making it glitter slightly.

Hidan held out his hand, looking very upset about the whole situation. "Give it back, Kakuzu. That's precious to me, even more then my text."

"I was just looking at it," he said, placing it in Hidan's outstretched hand. Kakuzu watched Hidan place it back where it belonged. "You know that's not real metal, right?"

"It is so metal: it was just made artificially. It's silver, gold, and steel melded into one. Ninja made." Hidan cradled it like it was a fragile baby bird. "Only the people from my hidden village know how to make it. So it's worth a lot, more than all the money in your suitcase."

"Is that so?" The ex-waterfall nin eyed the piece of jewelry. "And they just gave it to some idiot like you?" He leaned forward slightly. "I could so easily just snatch that from you while you sleep; bet I'd make a fortune." He was only teasing, but Hidan did not need to know that.

Hidan was never good with jokes. He could not make them, and he could not take them. Thus, his reaction was predicable.

SLAP!

Kakuzu tackled Hidan, pinning him to the ground. "Did you just hit me?" He hissed in Hidan's face.

"Asshole, you deserved it. I won't let you take it, I'll never sleep again if it means you won't be able to!" Being unable to hit him or slap him again, Hidan then spat in Kakuzu's face.

He growled and kneed Hidan in the crotch. "Idiot, I was playing!" Kakuzu bit him on the nose as hard as he could. "I would never take it for real!"

Hidan wailed, attempting to shove the larger man off him. When it failed he wrapped both hands around Kakuzu's neck and began to choke him.  
"Ugh! Let go of me, you parasite!" Kakuzu stood, dragging Hidan up off the ground. "You're more annoying than actually painful you know." He reached his hands up and began to tickle Hidan. "Goochy-goo," he said flatly.

Hidan was not ticklish. He never was: this pissed him off more that anything. "Do you get off on treating me like a child?!" Hidan then did the same as Kakuzu. But instead of a knee to the crotch, it was a foot, backed with a powerful kick.

Kakuzu dropped to the ground, hissing in pain. He punched Hidan in the face as best he could, pleased that the other was now off him, at least. "Do you get off on being a pain in the ass?"

Hidan held his nose trying to stop the blood from spilling on his clothes. "Give it back..."

"What your heart? Fuck no! You gave it to me, I'm keeping it!" He stood, making to clean up from dinner. Kakuzu tried to calm himself; he really did want to be happy with Hidan, but that idiot always had to go and piss him off, ruining whatever tiny bit of love might have been forming inside him.  
Hidan's lower lip trembled. "Do you have any idea how lucky you are? No person is supposed to touch me. But I let you!" He slammed his fists into the ground. "Do you know how many people from my hidden village would want a priest of Jashin? To take their virginity!? I let you - the scum of the earth - touch me! I gave you my heart, both physically and emotionally! And... you treat me like dirt." Hidan held his head in his hands. "I try so hard."

Kakuzu looked down at Hidan, his hearts clenching sadly. He put down the dishes and sat next to Hidan, pulling the other into his arms. "I..." he said quietly, "I'm trying to be nice to you...you're just so-" he sighed and held Hidan tighter. "I told you I would ruin this. Didn't I say I would ruin it?" Kakuzu nuzzled his face into Hidan's hair, trying to condole the boy.

Hidan pulled Kakuzu's hood up so he could kiss his neck. "You need to stop teasing me, I can't take it that well." He opened his mouth around Kakuzu's larynx and bit it softly.

He sighed and tilted his head back. "Fine, I'll go back to always being serious busyness." Kakuzu pulled Hidan closer. "Mmm, mine."

"We should really head to Takigakure," Hidan said quietly. "What are we going to do there?"

"We have to start looking for the two tailed Jinchuuriki. It was rumored she was last spotted there. I don't want to waste too much time there: since that's not her village I doubt she's there." Kakuzu ran his hands up and down Hidan's back. "We have to go up through the Kusa' though, Leader will pitch a fit if he sees us in back in Amegakure so soon."

"Let the ass pitch a fit." Hidan stood up. "Let's go 'Kuzu. I wanna get this done with soon."  
"You sure you want to get going? It's the middle of the night and the only sleep you got was after you passed out." Kakuzu followed suit, returning to his clean up from dinner.

"I can get going," Hidan said. "I'm not tired." He walked by Kakuzu and gave his butt a squeeze before gathering his things.

Kakuzu jumped in surprise. He whipped around, throwing a piece of wood at Hidan's bottom playfully. "Don't do that," he pouted.

Hidan turned and tackled Kakuzu to the ground, smiling playfully. "Oh, you liked it," he grinded Kakuzu's hips with his own, pulling the mask and hood off so he could lick the larger man's left ear.

The elder groaned, trying to push Hidan off - although it was obvious he was not really trying. "What happened to getting to Takigakure?" It only took the lick to his ear to have him dragging Hidan's hips closer.

"I'm just giving you a preview. My sight is almost back, and once it is, we'll have some fun." Hidan gave Kakuzu's ear another lick and ground his hips against the large man's groin before he pulled away. "Now let's go."

Kakuzu sighed and sat up, pulling his hood back on. "You excited?" Once more, he re-packed camp, annoyed that setting it up had been a waste of time.

Hidan tied his scythe to his back. "Excited about what?"

The waterfall nin did not answer stupid questions; although to most it seemed easier to just explain, Kakuzu was not most people. He growled slightly, thinking Hidan was purposely being annoying, before he pulled his cloak on and started walking.

Hidan snorted and went to catch up with his partner. When he reached Kakuzu he interlaced their hands. He smiled.

Kakuzu blinked down at their hands, but kept walking. Hidan could see well enough to walk on his own - for the most part - but, he would allow this contact for the time being.

"How long will it take to get there?" Hidan asked, kicking a rock.

"Probably a day or two, if we don't have any more distractions." Kakuzu watched Hidan's feet, kicking the rock around like a child would. "How long until your sight is back?"

"Tomorrow afternoon, maybe sooner." Hidan squeezed the stitched man's hand.  
"Interesting... And we thought that you were homophobic, Hidan..." A man said, seeming to seep up from the ground to look at the two Akatsukis.  
"Fuck you Zetsu. At least I don't fuck some retarded brat!"

Kakuzu pulled his hand back. "He blinded himself, I'm just helping him so he doesn't die or something stupid." He glared at Zetsu, challenging him to disagree.

Zetsu was undeterred by Kakuzu's look: He was of a higher rank, so to speak. "Hidan's reaction tells us other wise. **Haha, Konan owes us money. She said you two would never get together.**"  
"Shut up! Why the fuck are you here?" Hidan snapped, flipping Zetsu off.  
"Leader is calling a gathering; **Deidara has captured the one-tailed Jinchuuriki.**" Zetsu began to melt back into the ground. "We are all needed, as you know, Kakuzu; **with Orochimaru gone we need all the man power we have, even if some are only good as a sex toy.**" With that Zetsu was gone.  
Hidan shook with rage. "I'm not good only for a sex toy, right 'Kuzu?"

"Of course not Hidan," he said, making to find a place to sit for the three days it would take to deal with the one tail. "C'mon," he patted the ground next to him.  
Hidan plopped himself next to Kakuzu. God he hated this organization.

Kakuzu, after making sure Zetsu was no where around, leaned over and pecked Hidan on the cheek. "Be okay without me for three days?" He breathed in the Jashinist's ear through his mask.

"I'll be standing next to you, so I'll be fine." Hidan formed the necessary hand signs. "But I'm not looking forward to being next to Sasori."

Kakuzu followed suit, closing his eyes. When he opened them, he was nothing more than a chakra hologram, sanding on the finger of the statue from which they would extract the Bijuu. He sighed. "Once again, we're the last ones here."

"At least you're here in one piece," Sasori said. "The brat lost an arm. So, Kakuzu, was he any good?"  
"Of course Hidan was good," Kisame said. "Nothing's better then a virgin. Of course girls are a bit better then boys."  
"And you would know Kisame!" Hidan snapped back. "Because Itachi is a girl, after all."

Kakuzu looked flatly at all who commented; calmness was worse than anger. "I don't think that is any of your busyness, now is it? If Hidan wants to talk about it, that's up to him." How fast did news travel in this organization anyways?  
Deidara laughed, doing his best to make the appropriate hand sign with only one hand. "You'll tell me later, right Hidan-san, hmm?"

"I'll tell you right now if you want." Hidan said, not even thinking.  
"**Enough!**" Leader bellowed, "**I don't want to hear any of this!**"  
Konan coughed, but it sounded strikingly similar to 'homophobe.'

- - - -

Kakuzu blinked his eyes open, glaring at the tree in front of him. Three days of being teased by people smaller, weaker, and younger than him was not fun. He stood and began to kick things, breaking trees in half, before he lastly, punched Hidan - who was still in his trace, gossiping with Deidara. "Up! Now! We're going to Ame', you can talk to Deidara tomorrow!"

He began to walk down the path they had come; he was so furious he had no idea what he would do with himself. And now he would probably have to listen to Hidan complain because he had hit him. Great.

Hidan ran after Kakuzu and grabbed his cloak. "Why did you hit me?! I didn't do anything!!"

"It's nothing," he hissed, "just let it go." Kakuzu could feel himself shaking with rage. He could not believe this was happening.  
"I made an offer to you, 'Kuzu." Hidan said, walking in front of the larger man so he could look at him. "You can vent your anger on me," he grabbed Kakuzu's hand and brought it to his small neck, wrapping the large fingers around it. "Choke me, hit me, you can rape me if you want."

At first, they just stood there, but soon the fingers were tightening as anger consumed him. Kakuzu did not stop, not until he felt Hidan's windpipe crush with a small pop; squeezing tighter and tighter so as to break his neck.  
Hidan smiled sweetly. He was glad that he could help Kakuzu. He could hear the bones in his neck creak. "I... Love you."

The squeezing stopped. Kakuzu looked at his shaking partner, watching the blood drip from the corner of his mouth. He let go of Hidan, letting his arm drop limply at his side.

Hidan coughed into his hand and whipped the blood he spat up on his cloak. He looked at Kakuzu. "I love you, Kakuzu," he repeated, wrapping his arms around his partner's torso.

Kakuzu placed a hand on Hidan's head, looking down at the boy sadly. "I...I want to say the same...so badly...I just- I can't..." He closed his eyes and wrapped his other arm around Hidan's waist.

Hidan looked up at his lover. "I'm happy knowing you want to say it," he unfastened Kakuzu's cloak and pushed if off his shoulders. "You're beautiful, 'Kuzu. More so then me." He kissed the lager's covered chest.

Kakuzu swallowed before pushing Hidan away. "We need to get going," he breathed, pulling his cloak back on. "We can't afford any more delays." He took Hidan's hand and kept walking.

Hidan smirked. "I can see just fine now. Why are you still holding my hand?"

The other's eyes widened, he had forgotten completely. He shook off the mixture of fear, nausea, and hesitation and put back on his mask of indifference. "I'll stop if you don't want me to."

"It's fine. I like it." Hidan reached up to smooth back his hair. "'Kuzu, can I see your face? It's sunny out and the last time I saw it the light was terrible. Please?" He put on the cutest face he could.

"Why would you want to?" Kakuzu felt his cheeks flush slightly, as the feeling of self-consciousness returned. He began to walk again, more or less dragging Hidan behind him.

"Because I love you," Hidan answered sincerely.

Kakuzu looked down at Hidan, worry etched onto his face. "Are you sure you'll still feel that way once you see it? Feeling and seeing aren't exactly the same, you know."

Hidan pouted. "Come on 'Kuzu! You've seen all of me, so why can't I see all of you?" He grabbed the first clasp on Kakuzu's cloak and unfastened it again.

"Because you're beautiful and I'm ugly," Kakuzu said, grabbing Hidan's wrists. "Besides, you run around half naked on your own." He stared at the young man, daring him to tell him otherwise, but in the end he sighed and undid his headband. "Hold," he said, giving it to Hidan. With a swift pull the hood was off; Kakuzu scowled as his hair was once again in his face.

Hidan tilted his face to side, reaching up to run his fingers over his partner's facial stitches. "Beautiful..." he muttered, moving to entangle his fingers in Kakuzu's hair. "Like I said these stitches are a turn-on." He roughly yanked the large man's hair, pulling him down some what, and gave him the most passionate kiss he could manage.

Kakuzu's eyes winded, but he supposed he should be getting use to this. He kissed Hidan back, biting his tongue and lapping up the blood with his own. He pulled it – his tongue was also stitched, having been cut in thirds as a means of torture back when he had been captured in his mid hundreds – out of Hidan's mouth, running the muscle up and down the side of the other's face. "We're not having sex," he purred, "until we find a hotel."

"I can't wait that long." Hidan breathed, his hands tugging his partners cloak to his hips and pulling his shirt up to kiss and bite his chest. "I need you now," he trailed his fingers over the masks on Kakuzu's back, feeling the small details carved into them.

"No, I'm not showing any more of myself in public." Despite the fact that no one was around. He pried Hidan off of him. "Stop clinging or you'll have to wait until we get to the base to see the rest of me." Like hell he was taking his pants off until he was behind locked doors.

"We're nowhere near a town. I won't be in the mood later." Hidan whined. "What about going back to that waterfall? If there is a cave behind it we could do it in there. No one would hear us." He clasped his hands together. "Please?"

"I-I don't know..." Kakuzu rubbed the back of his neck. He desperately wanted to redress, being so exposed was unnerving.

"No one will see us." Hidan ran his hands along Kakuzu's still slightly uncovered chest. He rubbed his nipples, smirking when he felt Kakuzu stiffen.

"Stop, I'm not doing this outside." He flipped his hood back up, retying his headband around his forehead. "Now you just blew it for yourself." He pulled his coat back on, buttoning it as he walked.

Hidan glared after his partner; he took his pike and ran after. Once he was there, he drew up the Jashin symbol around Kakuzu and himself. He muttered a few words and a barrier sprung around them. There was no way Kakuzu could get out. "I'm not letting up this shield until we have sex."

"Persistent, aren't you?" Kakuzu folded his arms. "And what about Deidara? He's currently missing an arm; are you going to let your friend suffer just so you can get laid?" He looked flatly down at Hidan.

"Like I give a damn," Hidan snapped, pulling off his cloak. "Sasori can give him a puppet arm until we get there."

"You selfish, spoiled little brat," Kakuzu hissed, picking Hidan up by his neck. "Are you so self-centered as to not care about someone who has helped you any chance he got? Hell, even I can break away from my daily routine to help people – but you? No, all you do is bitch and moan when you don't get what you want when you want it!" He tightened his hold on Hidan, "And even our relationship, all you've been doing is whining about the sacrifices you've made.

Well let me tell you something, your damned god doesn't care. And even if He did, don't you think I feel horrible enough as it is? I stole you from Jashin, the center of your universe, and all you can do is keep brining it up!

Your life is the only one that seems to matter to you. Your happiness is all you care about. I told you that I don't like to be touched, but I let you cling all over me because it makes you happy. I hate to show my skin in public, but I do – on occasion – because it makes you smile. I even endured a hot fucking bath because you wanted me to! I promised to have sex with you when your sight came back, but then I wanted to do it at the base. But no, no, no. Greedy little Hidan needs to have whatever he wants whenever he wants!

You wonder why I don't love you yet; well how on Earth could I love someone so completely self-absorbed? You don't care about my feelings, you don't care about your friends' feelings, and you don't even care about your victims'! Do you have any regard for human life? Any decency at all? At least I just kill the people I'm supposed to, you have to watch them writhe and cry until you're no longer entertained. Not even I'm that big of a sadist." Kakuzu dropped Hidan to the ground, looking down at him with disgust. "Well from now on I control this relationship. And you will take this shield down right this second before things get ugly; do you understand?"

The shield dissipated and Hidan stood up. He did not bother walking around Kakuzu, he simply shoved him out of the way. "I don't ever want to see your hideous face or body ever again. I don't want you to touch me either."

Kakuzu rolled his eyes: baby. "Fine, I'll be at the base if you change your mind." There was no looking back, no laughing and dragging Hidan along. He set his sights on the rode ahead and kept walking. If Hidan was going to be that way, then fine.

"You have sacrificed very little in this organization, Kakuzu. Nothing but your comfort. You had no family to leave behind. I was force in here, just like Deidara. But I was no Missing Nin." He squeezed his fists. "I wasn't the pride and joy of the temple, most of them wanted me dead because I was born albino, only my mother really loved me."  
Hidan then grew quiet. "Do you know why I hate Leader so much? My mother begged him not to take me away, so he killed her to shut her up." The last part was said quietly, like he was saying it to himself, but loud enough so Kakuzu could hear him.

"Oh boo-hoo, Hidan misses his mommy." Kakuzu scoffed. The ex-waterfall nin turned halfway to glare at Hidan. "Well suck it up; my entire clan was murdered right before my eyes and you never hear me bitching, do you?" He sighed. "Look, I sympathize with you, really I do. I know how much it hurts, but you have to learn to move on; or maybe that's just the age talking. I promised to stay by your side forever and keep you safe, but you're twenty-five and an S-ranked criminal, I can't hold your hand all the time."

"That's the whole point!" Hidan screamed. "I'm twenty-five! I haven't snuffed out my feelings yet! Unlike you, an insensitive prick who can't understand how someone like me thinks because it's been Jashin knows how many years since you were this old! I need the comfort!" Hidan began to cry. "You're the only person who told me I was beautiful. No one has ever told me that, not even my mother. I've never felt this way about someone before! I feel like I'll explode!" He turned and ran away. It was to be noted, for being the slowest attacker in the Akatsuki, Hidan ran very fast.

Kakuzu sighed angrily, looking down the path that led to home. "Hidan, Hidan wait!" He jumped into the tree tops, speeding out in front of the boy, grabbing him tightly. "Stop, just stop: first, I don't believe that no one has ever thought you were pretty, don't fucking lie to me. Second, you need to calm down, you're going to hurt yourself." He waited for Hidan to catch his breath before he would talk again. "Are you ready to talk like a grown up?"

Hidan ignored Kakuzu's last question. "I never said they didn't think I was pretty, I said they never told me I was pretty." He hiccupped. "I hate the way you make me feel. What do I have to do to make you say you love me? I want to be loved so badly."

Kakuzu ran a hand through Hidan's hair. "It takes time for a person to fall in love. Or maybe that's just me." He kissed the top of Hidan's head. "I'm sorry I make you miserable, but it's in my nature to be a jerk."

"Kakuzu, do you think I really love you?" Hidan asked, clinging to his partner's cloak. "You say love takes time, but I loved you the moment you first kissed me. Is it real, or am I just clinging to you because you were my first?"

"I think…" he sighed, "I think you're young and mistaking lust for love. But who knows, maybe it is love. I don't think so." Kakuzu looked up at the sky, watching the clouds move through the leaves. "I think we're just too different to truly be in love. We're exact opposites, Hidan, we can't even agree on where and when to have sex: that should be the easiest thing!"

"B-but, opposites a-attract right?" Hidan began to tremble violently, his face contorted with the effort to keep him self from crying. "K-K-Kakuzu. I-I need you. Just thinking about you leaving me makes me feel s-sick."

He sighed heavily, holding Hidan against his chest. "I never said I'd leave you." Kakuzu looked sadly at his partner; he had no idea how much Hidan needed him. It was almost funny: Days ago the Jashinist was calling him gay and throwing nail polish at him, and now he was sobbing on his coat and begging Kakuzu to never leave him. "We - we really, really need to get to the base." He picked Hidan up bridal style. "I'll carry you, okay?"

Hidan sniffled and nodded, snuggling into Kakuzu's chest. "I love you..." he mumbled before he dosed off, tears still rolling down his cheeks.

- - - -

**End:** April 16, 2008


	5. Chapter 5

**Keri: Since I'm dumping them all at once, please review after each chapter, thank you!**

**Start:** April 17, 2008

- - - -

When they arrived at Amegakure, they were met by Tobi, with Zetsu no where in sight. Tobi shoved the ring on his finger in Kakuzu's face; it read "virgin". Hadn't that ring belonged to Sasori? "Look! Tobi is a member now!" He squeaked, "Tobi is a good boy!"

Kakuzu placed a hand on Tobi's mask, pushing the other away. "Go jump in some quicksand or something." He carried the sleeping Hidan into the house, opening the door to their room. He laid the bundle onto his bed, removing Hidan's cloak before pulling the blankets up over him. The waterfall nin then went up the stairs to the medical bay, opening doors until he found the room Deidara was lying in. "Sasori's dead?" It was obviously rhetorical. "And you've lost another arm? Oi," he sighed, "what a day."

"And Tobi is my new partner, hmm," Deidara said miserably. "Why him? I'd rather be Itachi's partner. Damn asshole: he came by here to just stare at me, hmm. He was laughing on the inside, I swear, hmm," he then leaned forward to use his foot to scratch his nose. "So, could you hurry? I don't want to ask Tobi to scratch my face again, little freak, hmm. He and Zetsu are perfect for each other."

"Don't be cruel to Zetsu; he's a nice guy if you don't mind his darker half." Kakuzu approached the bed, picking Deidara up. "Up we go, to the operating room." He walked down the hall to another room, laying Deidara on the cold, metal bed. "Where'd your limbs run off to?" He asked, filling a syringe with a light anesthesia.

"Tobi found one and Zetsu got the other." Deidara sighed. "They're back in the preservative room, hmm."

Kakuzu nodded. "This is gonna pinch," he swabbed Deidara's arm before injecting the liquid into him. "I'll be back in a second." The tan-skinned man went to the room at the end of the hall, fumbling around in the freezer until he found Deidara's two arms as well as a spare elbow to replace the one he had lost.  
He returned to the operation room, placing the box holding the two bags on the table next to the ex-iwa nin. He went to the wash room, cleaning himself up before making sure he had everything to sew Deidara back up with minimal damage.

"You better be treating... Hidan well," Deidara said lazily, the anesthesia starting to kick in. "If you're not, when I get better, I'll have a clay spider blow your dick off, hmm…then again... you would just get... a new one... Mmm, Danna…" Deidara dozed off.

Kakuzu opened the bags, a puff of fog rising from each as the seal was broken, and began to stitch the wound, making sure that each vein would be able to heal to the proper one. Getting a good blood flow to the nerves would help to save the arms. He screwed the bones back together and stitched the flesh closed – after cutting off the dead skin and tissue – before wrapping the suicide bomber's arms in gauze.

He cleaned up and took Deidara back to his room, tucking him into bed as he had done for Hidan. Kakuzu padded downstairs to get an apple to munch on and made his way back to Hidan and his shared room to await his lover's return to the land of the living.

Hidan sat up when Kakuzu entered the room. "How's Deidara?" He asked quickly. "Is Sasori taking well to the fact that he won't get to give him puppet arms?"

"Sasori's dead." Kakuzu sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at the floor. "I didn't ask how; didn't think Deidara would be up to telling me. He seems okay though. I don't think it's really sunk in yet."

"Oh... I'll go see him later." Hidan slunk under Kakuzu's arm, purring like a cat begging to be petted. "It's nice to be in a soft bed, especially when it's raining outside."

Kakuzu, complying with the young man, scratched behind Hidan's ears. He looked at the apple in his hand with a sigh, no longer hungry.

Hidan snatched the apple and took a bite out of it, some of the juice dribbled over his chin. "Want to try and find if apple juice tastes better on my lips?" He asked after swallowing the bite he took.

"Sorry, I'm - I'm not really in the mood." The hand that had been holding the apple curled into a ball.

Hidan looked a little hurt, but did not press the matter and wiped off his mouth. He began to massage Kakuzu's shoulders. "What's wrong, 'Kuzu? Is something bothering you?"

He sighed, "Sasori – Sasori wasn't supposed to die," Kakuzu continued to watch his hand clench and unclench. "Does this mean that there will someday be someone strong enough to kill me too? And even if your heart continues to be immortal even if it's in my body," he paused to think, "do you think they'll be smart enough to just – just rip it out?"

Hidan scooted back and pulled Kakuzu's head down into his lap. "I really don't know, 'Kuzu," he pulled off the hood and mask, working his fingers over the elder's scalp. "Who knows, maybe we'll be together until the earth dies, perhaps you or me will die tomorrow. But if you die, I'll follow you," he lent forward and kissed Kakuzu on the lips lightly. "And if I end up in heaven I'll beg Jashin to send me to hell so I can be with you."  
"No, stay in heaven, be happy. You don't deserve what I'm going to get," Kakuzu squeezed Hidan's knee lovingly. "I'll be happier knowing you're safe."

"Um…**why do we keep walking in on the most compromising of positions?" **Zetsu's dark half laughed in amusement while the light side blushed awkwardly, looking up to the ceiling. "C-can one of you tell us why Tobi's attempting to flood our flower-bed to make quicksand?"

"Shit," Kakuzu jumped to his feet, running out the door and to the backyard. It was raining lightly and Tobi was indeed trying to fill Zetsu's garden with water. "What are you doing you idiot?!"

"You told Tobi to jump in quick sand," Tobi said matter-of-factly. "But Tobi needs to make some first." At seeing Zetsu, Tobi dropped the hose and glomped him. "Tobi loves Zetsu-san!"

The white half smiled and patted Tobi's back. "And we love you too, Tobi-kun."

Kakuzu groaned, "If you must do it, do it away from Zetsu's plants."  
Tobi glanced at Kakuzu, his visible eye going red and then reverting to black again. "Okay, Tobi will do it somewhere else, Kakuzu-sama. You should go back to Hidan-sempai," he said, sounding a little down. "Tobi is sorry, Zetsu-san. Can he help fix up your garden?"

Kakuzu grabbed the collar of Tobi's cloak. "Listen you one eyed pumpkin, nobody tells me what to do!" He hissed in the young man's face. "Zetsu may be higher ranked than me, but Leader says I'm in charge when he's away, you got that? Just because you have a ring now doesn't mean you get to start pushing me around."  
"Hey! **Put him down!** He didn't do anything!"

Tobi's eye blinked rapidly, it seemed to go from black to red and back again several times. "I didn't tell you to do anything, Kakuzu-sama," he said, talking in first person, something he did rarely. "I thought that Hidan-sempai would be lonely." He then wriggled out of his cloak and dashed behind Zetsu; he placed his open hand to his face, his thumb resting where is nose was, and wriggled his fingers in an obvious taunt. A crude raspberry came from behind the mask.

Kakuzu dropped the cloak to the ground, anger boiling up. "You little punk-"  
"That's enough!" Zetsu hugged Tobi around the neck. "He's just a little kid, Kakuzu-san!" Zetsu's light side pouted. "**Yeah, leave him alone!**" The dark half glared at Kakuzu, petting Tobi's hair. "Don't worry; Tobi's a good boy, a very good boy."  
The waterfall nin growled in frustration. "Yeah, as a punching bag," he turned on his heels, returning to his and Hidan's room. Kakuzu punched a wall as soon as the door closed behind him.

Hidan looked nervously at Kakuzu. "Kakuzu? Did something happen?"

"Tobi happened! That little brat, I don't know why Leader-sama let Zetsu keep him! He's a pest, annoying, and he mocked me!" Kakuzu punched the wall with his other fist. "Someone," again, "is going," again, "to die," and again, "TODAY!" The ex-waterfall nin jumped into the air, and round-house kicked the cracked wall; growling in even more frustration as the plaster and wood gave way and formed a lovely window between their room and Kisame and Itachi's room.

Hidan stood, padded over to Kakuzu and took a look into the adjoining room, glad to see it was empty. "Kakuzu, don't punch the wall anymore," he grabbed his partners arm and nuzzled it. "Leader-bitch will get angry."

"I don't see why, I make all the damn money in this organization." Kakuzu stalked away from the wall, placing his hands on his hips. "Though we should get it fixed before he sees it, I really can't handle anymore crap from him."

"I'll go get the pieces of the wall in their room. We'll just put them back and the next time Kisame screws Itachi the pieces will fall in our room and Leader will make them pay for it." Hidan trotted to the door and opened it. "I'll be right back." Hidan returned a few minutes later with the pieces of wall.

Kakuzu laughed at Hidan's sneakiness. He wrapped his arms around Hidan's shoulders as the young man placed the pieces back together. "God I love you." He nuzzled his face into Hidan's ear before his eyes flew open and he backed away from the other. "I-I mean…what?"

Hidan turned to look at Kakuzu; his normally pale cheeks flushed pink. "'Kuzu... Do..." Hidan bit his lip nervously, "Do you mean that?" He was not going to make any assumptions, but Hidan felt his hopes rise.

The man swallowed thickly. "I – I guess…If it came out so easily I-" his voice was shaky with is own surprise. Kakuzu licked the inside of his now dry mouth. "I love you…" he said quietly, testing out the feel of the words on his tongue. "I – suppose at times yes. I do love you. Yes."

Hidan walk to his lover and hugged him tightly, burying his face in the larger man's chest. "Thank you, 'Kuzu, thank you for telling me," he began to tremble; he looked up at Kakuzu, tears running down his face. "It means so much to me."

"Y-yeah well," Kakuzu placed a hand on Hidan's head, "don't expect it too much, alright. Let me get used to it first."

Hidan nodded. "I'm going to see how Deidara is." With that said Hidan was gone, not even bothering to ask where his friend was. It took some time, but Hidan finally found Deidara. The first thing he noticed upon entering the room was Deidara's sour face. The second was the fact that Sasori's body was sitting in a chair next to the bed. "Who gave you that?" Hidan asked, pulling up another chair.

Deidara sniffed. "Zetsu-san," he said quietly. The blonde attempted to bend his fingers, but winced at the pain and stopped.

"Must have thought it would make you feel better, but I see that's not the case." Hidan shifted uncomfortably, he felt 'Sasori' was 'staring' at him. "I'm sorry for your loss, if I can do anything for you, just let me know."

He hiccupped sadly, trying to hold back the tears. Deidara was quiet for a moment, his eyes tracing the deceased puppeteer's face. "You - you're so lucky, Hidan, hmm."

Hidan rubbed the back of his head. "No, I might still have Kakuzu, but you're more lucky then me. I'm sure when Sasori said he'd take care of you he never hit you for no reason like Kakuzu does," he rubbed his arm. "I'm sure he didn't make you cry nearly everyday. And I'm positive he cared whether you did it out side or in. My stupid ass can't even see how beautiful he is. I only got a good look at him yesterday."

Deidara laughed lightly. "I thought you liked when Kakuzu hit you, hmm." He rubbed his eyes on his pillow, turning around as best he could to sit across from Hidan.

"I do, but not when he does so for the hell of it," Hidan scratched his nose. "You know when I was cut off when we were talking after we sealed the Bijuu? It happened because he hit me. Asshole." Hidan glanced at Deidara's bandaged arms. "I thought you lost only one. How did you loose the other? And you look like someone beat the shit out of you too."

"The Kyuubi and Hatake Kakashi, hmm," Deidara looked down and his arms and torso, trying to see if he was really that injured. "Hey, can you fix my hair? The ponytail got all messed up, hmm."

"Yea, sure," Hidan said, standing to remove the hair tie. "So, Deidara, how long did it take for Sasori to say he loved you?" He asked, pulling the proper amount of hair up.  
"Love me? Hmm," Deidara thought, "I dunno, a few years; why?"

Hidan blinked, "Really?" He retied Deidara's hair. "Kakuzu just told me; and most of the time we've known each other was spent hating the other's guts." Hidan suddenly snickered. "I bet Itachi hasn't even said 'I like you' to Kisame yet."

Deidara gasped and turned around. "Kakuzu told you he loved you, hmm?! Tell me what happened, tell me what happened!" He did his best to pat the bed next to him more than happy for the distraction from his own inner – and outer – pain.

Hidan sat down and bit his lip. "Well, Kakuzu punched a hole in the wall we share with Kisame and Itachi, I came up with a way for them to get in trouble for the damage, and then he wrapped his arms around me and it just slipped out. It wasn't romantic at all. Then he told me not to get used to it... You know what? He had a wife."

"What?" Deidara's eyes widened. "H-he did? When?" The younger scooted closer. He would make a joke about 'how could anyone love him' or 'I can't believe he would actually be able to do something like that' but considering who he was talking to, he refrained.

"God, I have no clue. All I can say it was a long time ago." Hidan glanced at the clock, finding he had been there for some time. "Hey, I gotta go Deidara. I'll come with Kakuzu when he checks up on you, bye." He left and headed back to his room. "'Kuzu?" Hidan asked the dark room, are you still here?"

Kakuzu's head popped up from Kisame and Itachi's side of the hole. "Over here, what's up?" The sound of a hand vacuum could be heard.

"Nothing, just wondering where you were." Hidan said, stripping off all his cloths and doing a few stretches. Every stretch was done in a way that they showed off every inch of his body, all for Kakuzu. "I'm gonna hop in bed." Hidan winked at his partner before sliding under the cheap black-silk sheets.

The elder swallowed and finished his cleaning as quickly as he could. He returned to their room and returned the vacuum to its rightful place. "What'd you and Deidara talk about?"

"I talked about my relationship with you and Deidara talked about his with Sasori," Hidan replied, stretching languorously. "The usual," he patted the empty space on the bed, an invitation to join him.

Kakuzu lay down, staring at the ceiling. The man yawned, placing one hand behind his head and one around Hidan. "We need a bigger bed."

"You don't like being near me?" Hidan teased, pulling down Kakuzu's mask so he could kiss his cheek.

"'S not that, I'm just falling off the bed." Kakuzu rolled onto his side, cuddling Hidan up close. "I love you..." he licked his lips. "Still tastes funny."

Hidan smiled deviously. "I bet I can make those words taste sweet."

"Oh yeah," Kakuzu purred, "prove it."

Hidan leaned over his lover and kissed him deeply, his tongue gliding over the other's. He pulled away slowly. "Tell me you love me again," Hidan muttered.

"I love you," Kakuzu said against Hidan's lips, pushing the younger onto his back.

Hidan kissed Kakuzu again, just as deeply. He pulled away and yanked off his rosary, tossing it to some distant corner of the room. "I love you too, 'Kuzu," he cooed before stretching out and arching his back; as if he were begging Kakuzu to look at and touch his body.

And the other complied, running his hands over Hidan's chest, swallowing thickly. "You took your rosary off; why?"

Hidan let out a small moan, smiling contently. "You're more important to me then religion." He reached up and stroked the stitched man's face.

Kakuzu frowned, guilt washing over him once more. "Don't say that…"

"I said it once and I'll say it again. You're important to me, you bring me more happiness then Jashin ever could." Hidan kissed Kakuzu again, taking the man's unoccupied hand into his own, interlacing their fingers. "Fucking hell, 'Kuzu. This is my choice; don't feel guilty because I made it."

"I know I shouldn't but I can't help it. Promise me that no matter how much I complain, you will do your rituals everyday and pray like you're supposed to." Kakuzu pet Hidan's cheek. "Please Hidan," he said quietly. "I know neither of us like them, but I don't want you to go to hell because of me."

Hidan pouted. "I'll do my rituals and pray, but I'm going to go into hell with you, whether you like it or not." He kissed Kakuzu's cheek. "It's like heaven when you kiss me, touch me, and talk to me. And if hell is a place of torture, then I'll like it."

Kakuzu sighed, giving up on Hidan's immortal soul. If the boy was going to be that way about things, fine. The ex-waterfall nin pinned Hidan to the bed, licking his ear – coincidentally it was the same one the pervert in the sand had licked – before sliding his hands down to where the blanket covered Hidan's hips.

Hidan laughed, making sure to keep himself covered. "Before you see any more of me, I want to see the rest of you." He took Kakuzu's lower lip into his mouth and suckled on it. "Don't want to ruin your clothes with what ever bodily fluids we secrete."

Kakuzu laughed dryly. "Fine, but let me lock the door. The last thing we need is Zetsu walking in on us." He kissed Hidan's neck gently before standing at walking across the room. He sighed and leaned against the door. "I really enjoy it when we're not fighting."

Hidan sighed, stretching. "It is great," he said. "We should make fighting more enjoyable, though; like having make-up sex when we cool off." He smirked, "Why not give me a strip show 'Kuzu?"

The elder flipped Hidan off. "Screw you," he said blushing slightly, "I'll do what I please." He grabbed the bottom of his shirt and, with only a second of hesitation, yanked the material off along with his hood. He dropped the articles to the floor before returning to the bed. "Happy?" Kakuzu pouted.

Hidan had wanted the pants off too, but he had the feeling he'd be pushing it a bit too far. So he remained quiet about it. "Yes, very," he wrapped his arms around the missing nin's broad shoulders and pulled him down, placing a chaste kiss on his lips. "But those pants have to come off sooner or later. I'll understand if it's later."

Kakuzu pulled Hidan to lie on top of him, kissing every inch of skin he could get at while rubbing his lover's back. "Don't get any ideas," he said, "you don't get to top, understand?"

"Yeah, I get it," Hidan replied breathlessly, moving so he was straddling Kakuzu's hips. He hummed as he ran his hands over his body, sighing when he went over a sensitive area. "This would be so much better if you did the touching, 'Kuzu."  
"But this is so relaxing," he sighed, pulling Hidan closer. The touches not bothering him, for the moment. Kakuzu ran his painted nails gently up and down Hidan's back, wanting to make the most of their time together since he had been forced to face his mortality.

Hidan pouted: Things were not moving fast enough for him. The soft touches were nice and all, but he wanted to be abused. "'Kuzu... Come on," he whined softly, rubbing his body against the elder's larger frame. "Touch me. Fuck me senseless. Make me scream your name."

Kakuzu blinked at Hidan. "Do we have to move so quickly? I'm still trying to get used to this love crap." He sat up, the Jashinist now in his lap, legs wrapped around him. "But if you want fast, violent sex, why didn't you just say so?"

Hidan entangled his fingers in his lover's hair. "Fast and violent sounds nice," he purred before slamming his lips over Kakuzu's.

- - - -

**End:** April 21, 2008


	6. Chapter 6

Start: April 22, 2008

**Start:** April 22, 2008

- - - -

Knocking on a person's door was normally a polite way to ask to come in or to see if the person in question was in the room. However, knocking on a person's door at six o'clock in the morning after a long night of rough sex was never a good way to wake said person up. So as Kakuzu heard the small, steady raps, he glared at the wood. "What?" he growled, throwing a shoe at the door. "We're trying to sleep."

"Um, I was wondering, hmm, if you too would…" Deidara's voice cracked. "C-can you open the door please, Kakuzu-san, hmm?"

"You should put your pants on... and see what Deidara needs," Hidan mumbled, absently nibbling on the stitching of Kakuzu's lower stomach. "Could be important..."

The older man grumbled, pulling his pants up and opening the door; forgetting, momentarily, that the rest of him was exposed. "Okay, I'm up, what do you want?"  
Tobi gasped, his life-long dream of exposing Kakuzu was a success. "Can Tobi touch them?" The masked boy leaned forward over the wheel chair his partner was sitting in to grab at Kakuzu's face.  
"Tobi, stop, hmm." Deidara glared up at Tobi through tear filled eyes. "Kakuzu-san," he said, returning his gaze to the half naked man before him, "would you and Hidan please come down stairs now, hmm. Zetsu's going to hold S-Sasori-danna's f-funeral, hmm." Deidara bowed his head, fighting back the tears. He needed to look strong in front of his new partner.

Hidan squirmed past Kakuzu, already dressed. "Sure, let's go Kakuzu," he handed Kakuzu his cloak and shirt. "No hood or mask, it's rude."  
"You need a mask more then Kakuzu, no Kisame?"  
Everyone turned to see Itachi and his partner some feet down the hall. Itachi was clutching Kisame's cloak sleeve.

Kakuzu sneered, flipping Itachi the bird. He reentered his and Hidan's bedroom. Moments later he returned fully dressed. "Screw you, Itachi. At least I have more manners than your dog-fish there."  
"Please stop fighting, hmm!" Deidara looked desperately at each of them. "Look Itachi, I know me and you, and you and Kakuzu don't get along very well, but for Sasori can't we at least act slightly civil, hmm?"

"I was giving Kakuzu a complement," Itachi said coldly. "And Kisame has plenty of manners: He addresses every one in a polite manner. Which is more I can say about you or your little pleasure toy. Speaking of said pleasure toy, good morning Hidan." Itachi then turned back to Kisame, "Let's go."

Deidara sniffed sadly as Itachi and Kisame brushed passed them to get to their bedroom. He was shaking in silent sobs: His soul-mate was dead and nobody else seemed to care. Tobi was ecstatic, Zetsu was upset he would not get lunch, and Kakuzu and his own so-called best friend were so wrapped up in their own love-lives they did not even take notice. He had expected as much from Itachi, but maybe a little more from Kisame, and he knew Konan and Pein-sama would be absent; he was not looking for sympathy, just for someone else to mourn Sasori. Deidara reached up slowly, rubbing his eyes on the back of his bandaged hand with a hiss of pain. "L-let's go, hmm. We don't want to keep Zetsu-san waiting…"

Hidan shoved Tobi away from the wheelchair so he could push Deidara. "What a prick, he didn't even say 'Sorry for your loss.'" He leaned forward so he could whisper to his friend. "I feel greatful to Sasori-san, and you. It may seem weird but I feel like it's thanks to you both that I'm with Kakuzu now. 'Gonna miss the stiff."

Deidara looked up at Hidan in surprise, before slowly smiling. "Thanks Hidan, hmm."

Kakuzu looked at Tobi, glaring at the boy only slighter shorter than he, before following the younger two. "I take it Sasori's going to be cremated."

The blonde nodded. "Leader-sama gave me an urn to keep him in; Zetsu has it right now..."

"Sasori-sempai may be small, but he won't fit in an urn," Tobi said, trailing after them.  
"'Kuzu, will you punch Tobi for me?" Hidan asked sweetly.  
"No! Tobi is a good boy! Don't punch, Tobi!"

The stitched nin was more than happy to turn and sucker punch Tobi. "Anything else, love?" He said the last word a bit sarcastically.  
"Tobi you idiot, hmm, Sasori-danna's going to be b-burnt and h-his a-a-..." Deidara burst into tears, no longer able to hold them back. "Why Sasori no danna?! Why did you leave me?! I-I thought you l-loved me, hmm! If I e-ever see the whores tha-that killed you ever again, I s-swear I'll k-kill them, hmm!"

Tobi ran off, crying. No doubt to find Zetsu.  
"I'm sure he didn't mean to leave you," Hidan said. "Things happen." Hidan turned to Kakuzu, giving him a look that begged him to help.

Kakuzu looked at Hidan as if to say: 'Don't ask me, I don't know! He's your friend, you do it! You know I don't know anything about comforting things!'

Hidan simply mouthed one thing: 'Warai'.

The elder froze, but took a moment to collect himself before he squatted next to Deidara. "Listen, I know it hurts okay, and it will for awhile. But it'll go away. You just have to…I dunno, move on. I guess."

Deidara looked down at Kakuzu. "I-I can't. I love him, I can never move on. It's impossible, hmm. I'll never f-feel the same for a-anyone else."

"Well, seeing at how old he is, I'm sure Kakuzu felt the same way as you when someone he loved died." Hidan did his best to make it seem like he had not told Deidara about Warai. "But he moved on. He's with me now. He loves me differently, but he loves me. Come on now, we need to get to Zetsu."

Deidara smiled at the two. "Th-thanks guys, hmm."

Kakuzu stood placing a gentle hand on Hidan's head, before pushing him forward to take his friend to the garden in the backyard.

Hidan smiled, somehow feeling better about himself. When they arrived at the garden they were met with a distraught Tobi.  
"Zetsu-san! Don't let Kakuzu-sama hit Tobi again!" He bawled, clinging to the split-minded man. "Tobi was being a good boy!"  
Standing off to the side was Konan, a rare sight for the members.

"K-Konan-chan?" Deidara breathed happily. "Y-you c-came, hmm!"

"Yes, I'm sorry that Leader could not make it. He sends his regards to you." Konan said before turning to Kakuzu and Hidan. "I heard you two last night."

Kakuzu thumbed towards Hidan. "Blame him, not me."

"**Ha!**" Zetsu's black half laughed. "**I bet the entire village heard you two last night; and don't go shifting the blame**_** 'Kuzu**_**," **he purred the name mockingly,"**because it was your loud mouth too.**"

Hidan snarled, "Don't call him by that name carrot dick!" He seethed, picking up a rock and tossing it at the cannibalistic man.  
Tobi, however, jumped in the way and swatted the offending object right back at Hidan, hitting the Jashinist in the nose. "Don't ever throw things at Zetsu-san," he said in an oddly cold tone. "Do it and you will pay dearly."

Kakuzu took a step toward the orange masked man. "You better watch yourself, pumpkin-head. I'm the only on that gets to hurt Hidan." He clenched his fists, glaring daggers at Tobi.  
Zetsu clung to Tobi. "Good boy, Tobi." The light side cooed. "Always stand up to bullies." He pouted angrily at Kakuzu. The darker half smirked at Hidan; he now knew a new way to get under the other's skin. Perfect.  
"Stop fighting!" Deidara yelled through new tears. "This is supposed to be a sad day, hmm! Remember?!"

"Tobi wouldn't call such a relationship love if one is abused," the masked ninja said, quickly reverting back to his normal behavior. "But that's just what Tobi thinks." He then pulled his mask up just enough so he could give Zetsu's hand a small, quick kiss.  
"It is so love!" Hidan said, grabbing Kakuzu to hold him tightly.  
Konan placed her hand on Deidara's shoulder. "Don't cry Dei-kun. They can't help it."

Deidara looked sadly up at Konan. "How come nobody else cares, hmm?" The blonde sniffled sadly. "I thought for a second, Kakuzu-san and Hidan might have, but then this started..." he hung his head sadly.

"They do care. But they have a hard time showing it." Konan cooed, "I'm sure Hidan has shown he cares, but Kakuzu and Zetsu have a bit of trouble doing so. But they're here." She pet his hair.  
Kakuzu, still ignoring Deidara for the fight, kissed Hidan on the top of his head. A wave of embarrassment washed over him for the public display of affection, but he figured he was in too deep as it was, so why fight. "Can't help it he likes it rough."

"Tobi was meaning when Kakuzu-sama cuts off Hidan-sempai's head, rips his arms or legs out of their sockets, beats him for no reason, and does any other abuse that he doesn't like." Tobi nuzzled Zetsu's chest before he continued. "That's not love, right Zetsu-san?"  
"Shut up! Kakuzu only did those things before he said he loved me!" Hidan screamed, stamping his foot on the ground - and on Kakuzu's foot. "But he won't do it ever again!"

"Oh you little fuck!" Kakuzu yelled, rubbing his uncovered toes by hopping around on one foot. After a few seconds of his comical display, he punch Hidan in the face; his anger getting the better of him.

Zetsu's darker half laughed. "**We rest our case!**"

Deidara sighed, having given up on the men. He looked over to where Sasori's body was laying, still and quiet, a blanket covering him. "Danna, hmm…" he said quietly. "I'm sorry, truly I am," he hiccupped.

Hidan sniffled, holding his once again bleeding nose. "Sorry Deidara, but I can't stay here, I'll come by your room later and give my regards to Sasori," he said before sobbing, turning around and running off, using his chakra to run faster then what was normal for him.  
Kisame and Itachi approached them, watching Hidan grow smaller and smaller as he ran into the streets of Amegakure. "Well, as our dearly departed puppet master would say; 'You just had to screw it up, didn't you?'" Kisame said, scowling at Kakuzu. "Pitty such a pretty man is beaten around like that. I'd treat him much better." He then patted Deidara's head, his manly way to say 'Sorry about what happened.'  
Konan kicked Kakuzu in the shin, muttering: 'Stupid, no good asshole.'

Kakuzu would run after Hidan, he really would. But that was bad for his image. So instead he stormed back into the house. Once he was sure no one else could see him, he ran to the front door, looking up and down the streets for Hidan's chakra. He sighed when he found the trail, following it for nearly ten minutes until he found the man sobbing in a bar. "What a woman," he scoffed.

"Go away..." Hidan said, lifting a glass of cheap, but strong, sake to his lips and downing it, letting out a choked sob before poring himself another glass. "I want to be alone. I'll go pay some cheap whore to give me some comfort." Hidan then asked a question that was most certainly induced by the sake: "If I whored myself out and made you money, would that make you truly happy? People would pay a lot for someone who couldn't die. All their sick fantasies would come true."

It was true that Kakuzu had thought about such a thing when they had first became partners, but now the thought made him violently ill. "Oh Hidan, Hidan no." He sat down next to his lover, wrapping his arms around him. "No, don't do that. I do love you Hidan…I just…you know I get angry sometimes and need to take it out on something-someone..."

"I'd do it 'Kuzu," Hidan said, tucking his head under the larger man's chin. "I'd sell my body to make you money. I'd do anything to help you get what you want." This was the truth, Hidan was an honest drunk after all. "I want to help you get money and ease your anger. If you wanted sex and I wasn't in the mood, I'd still sleep with you. All I want in return is for you to love me, or at least act like you do."

"I do love you," Kakuzu said quietly, petting Hidan's hair. "I admitted it, what more do you want from me? I'm not a touchy-feely guy. I like my space, I like things neat and organized and quiet and calm. You're clingy, messy, spastic and spontaneous," he nuzzled his nose in Hidan's scalp. "You should be grateful for just love."

"Love is all I want," Hidan said. "I need you." He did not care that they were in a public place; Hidan kissed Kakuzu like it was the last time he would ever get to do so again. He wrapped his arms around his lovers neck, kissing him violently.

He knew Hidan needed this, he knew what else Hidan needed, but this was not the time or place for that particular activity. Kakuzu pulled back, being kissed through his mask felt too awkward. Too impersonal. Plus the public display was strange at best. "We're making a scene," he said, squeezing Hidan's knee lovingly. "C'mon, let's get back to the base; Deidara's never going to forgive us if we don't show up before they burn him."

Hidan nodded, placing a few Ryou on the bar counter to pay for the sake. "Let's get there quickly," he said walking out the bar and racing back.

Kakuzu chased after Hidan, the two snuck into the backyard as Zetsu rambled on about how great Sasori was and how dearly he would be missed. The older man ushered Hidan to stand behind Deidara, next to Konan. He hushed him.

"And now, we will read a note Sasori gave to Leader, it states what he wishes to be done to his ashes. **Fucking finally...** Oh shut up. It's addressed to you, Deidara." Zetsu unfolded a sheet of paper, cleared his throat, and began to read:

"'My dearest Deidara, if you are reading this note or if someone is reading it to you, then you have proven me wrong. Your art is true and perfect. I shall miss you dearly. I have one final thing to ask of you; please take my ashes and mix them with your clay. I wish to be a part of your beautiful art. I love you and I'm sorry I'm gone, but we will see one another again. Love, Akasuna no Sasori.'" Zetsu refolded the paper. "How sweet of him. **Fire away Itachi!**"  
Itachi curtly nodded, formed several hand signs, and set fire to Sasori's body. His aim was slightly off, however, do to his failing eyes. He set Kisame's cloak on fire as well.

"Itachi stop fooling around you idiot! This is serious busyness, hmm!" Deidara yelled through heavy tears. He then returned to "mourning Deidara" and rest his head on Konan's hand, which was holding his wheelchair so it would not run away from him.

Once Sasori's body had burned until it was a pile of fine ashes and placed into the urn Deidara had, it began to rain, hard. It was the kind of rain that soaked you in a matter of seconds. Hidan hated that kind of rain. "'Kuzu let's go back inside." Hidan said, holding himself in an attempt to keep warm in the freezing rain. "It's fucking cold."

Kakuzu nodded, taking the wheelchair from Konan to push Deidara up the now muddy hill to the base. It was just easier for a man to do than a woman. But, fearing her wrath, he quickly lied. "I need to check his wounds."  
Deidara, however, took no notice, holding on to his late partner's chard remains. The only evidence he was crying now was the dark mascara stains down his face. He kept his head bowed, sniffling occasionally.

Konan snorted. "Yeah, whatever, you sexist. I'm in this organization for a reason." She then stormed past the stitched nin, nose up in the air.  
"See that Itachi-san? Older men repel women," Kisame said, grinning.  
"Hnn..." Itachi said, pushing Kakuzu away from Deidara's wheel chair. "I'll take him..." It was small, but it showed that Itachi sympathized with the bomber. "Go be with Hidan." With that Itachi walked off, rather quickly, Kisame trotting behind him.

If Kakuzu had not been wearing a mask, he would have stuck his tongue out at Itachi. "Blind ass hole," he muttered to Hidan. "I bet he's going to crash Deidara into a wall."

"Kisame wouldn't let that happen," Hidan said, his teeth chattering. "So fucking cold." He bit his lips, which were turning blue. "Can we go in, 'Kuzu?" The freezing rain was helping to sober him up just that much faster.

Kakuzu wrapped an arm around his half naked partner. "Yeah, I'll make you some tea too. That sound nice?"

Hidan nodded vigorously. "I'd like jasmine," he said. Hidan tugged Kakuzu inside and back to their room, once there he stripped of his wet clothes and flipped on their heater - they hardly ever used it because it "cost to much money" - squatting in front of it.

Kakuzu twitched but did not say anything. He wrapped a blanket around Hidan and left to get him a drink. He stood next to Kisame in the kitchen. "Making tea for your psycho master?"

"Itachi may seem like the master here," Kisame winked and poked his chest with his thumb, "but I'm the master in bed." He laughed, "Tea and dango. Glad dango and the ingredients for it are so cheap. He eats it by the truck load. His stomach is getting a little pudgy."  
"**I HEARD THAT KISAME!!**"

The waterfall nin laughed lightly. "Nice one Kisame-san." He set a cup on the counter and waited to steal the kettle from Kisame. "So how're things with the two of you going?" Idle conversation. Painful.

"Good, but Itachi is getting a bit more distant." Kisame paused as he prepared the herbal tea for Itachi. "He won't tell me what's bothering him. What about you and Hidan? is there anything good in your relationship?"

He shrugged, "It's really hard, you know. Not really the relationship type and Hidan wants to be loved 24-7." Kakuzu sighed. "I heard Itachi's brother ran off with Orochimaru, maybe that's what's bothering him."

"Where have you been the past two years?" Kisame asked. "That's old news." He rinsed out the tea pot and refilled it for Kakuzu. "Give him all the love you can, you never know when it will end. Have fun, and explore your fantasies, no matter how crazy." Kisame grabbed some dango from the fridge and left.

Kakuzu looked after Kisame. He had known about Sasuke for ages, but he thought that maybe Itachi was still upset by it. He rolled his eyes and poured some warm drink for his lover and himself. Returning to their room he changed before sitting next to Hidan. "Feeling better?" He asked, handing the other a glass.

Hidan nodded, taking the steaming liquid and sipping it. He then slunk to their closet and pulled out his cheap, silk lounging robe. He tugged it on.

"Comfy?" Kakuzu asked, with slight amusement. He bit back asking Hidan to turn off the heater, knowing the Jashinist must be enjoying it. He would turn it off once Hidan fell asleep.

"Yeah..." Hidan, knowing it would make Kakuzu happy, flicked off the heater before resting his head in his lover lap. "Rainy days always make me feel tired." He lifted his head and took another sip of his tea. "Thank you, 'Kuzu," he yawned.

The man smiled sadly. "I love you Hidan," he said very, very quietly. He ran his fingers through Hidan's hair, lulling him gently. "I really don't want to ruin this..."

"Every fight we've had so far ended fine." Hidan said, "And if someone would ruin this relationship it would be... me..." he fell asleep, smiling contently.

Kakuzu looked down at Hidan: He ruin the relationship? How? It seemed the man lived and breathed for him now that they were together. Kakuzu sighed and picked the Jashinist up, laying him on the bed. The waterfall nin turned and left the room, he needed some air. This love thing was giving him a headache.

- - - -

**End:** April 27, 2008


	7. Chapter 7

Start: April 27, 2008

**Start:** April 27, 2008

- - - -

Hidan jolted awake, covered in a cold sweat. Nightmares were a rarity for him, but when he had them they were terrifying. The subject of this one had been Kakuzu. His eyes darted around the room. "'Kuzu?" Hidan leaped out of his bed and ran into the hall. "Kakuzu?!"

"I'm right here Hidan," Kakuzu turned from the kitchen into the dinning room, looking at the younger. "What's wrong, you look scared. Did Itachi do something to you?" He hissed, he and Itachi had gotten into an argument only an hour ago when the blind Konoha nin drank Kakuzu's coffee instead of his own.

Hidan tackled Kakuzu to the floor and nuzzled his chest, trembling violently. "I thought my nightmare came true. I thought you were gone. Not dead, but just gone like you never even existed." He kissed every inch of his lovers face, chanting his name quietly.

Kakuzu pet Hidan's hair, trying to calm his distraught partner. "C'mon, get up. I'll make you some breakfast, okay?" He pecked Hidan's forehead before sitting up. "We're going to be leaving in a couple hours so you should eat something and then I'll help you get ready."

Hidan pulled away reluctantly, still trembling. "Okay," he stood and helped Kakuzu up, gripping his arm as they walked into the kitchen. "What will you make me?" He asked quietly.

"What do you want?" Kakuzu rubbed his hand up and down Hidan's back, surprised with how much the dream had shaken him. He frowned and turned to face Hidan, placing a hand on each of the younger man's shoulders. "Are you okay? I've never seen you so scared before."

Hidan bit his lower lip his eyes watering. "The dream... It was so..." he breathed in deeply, calming himself, "I kept asking where you were, and no one seemed to have ever even heard of you. Like I said, it was like you were never born. It felt so real, and when I woke up you weren't there."  
"Oh boo hoo, you've become such a wimp."  
Hidan looked over to the fridge where Itachi was standing, a stick of fried squid in his hand. Hidan made no snappy reply, he merely made a small noise and buried his nose into Kakuzu's arm.

"Did you forget to take your happy pills this morning, Itachi?" Kakuzu glared at the Uchiha, wrapping an arm around Hidan. "Or did you not get laid last night?" He looked down at Hidan, who had started to shake again. "C'mon, I'm supposed to make you breakfast. And how about a bath afterwards, hm?"

"I never liked Hidan, letting him in this organization was a mistake. Leader-sama only brought him to teach you a lesson. He has no special jutsus and hardly any chakra control." He glared at Hidan, his Mangekyo Sharingan swirling to life. "Even you have to admit that, Kakuzu-san. He is a hindrance and a money guzzler. And he's made you soft." Itachi flipped his hair and walked briskly past them.  
Hidan looked after the Uchiha and then looked at his feet. "I'm not hungry anymore."

Kakuzu sighed, rubbing Hidan's arms. Everything Itachi had said was completely true, and Kakuzu knew he had told all that to Hidan at one point in their relationship. It was useless to deny the things said. "Okay," he said quietly, "lemme just finish packing our bag and I'll give you a bath."

Hidan gripped his partner's shirt. "Take a bath with me? Please?" He pleaded, kissing Kakuzu's arm, "I don't want to be alone right now. I'll stand a luke-warm bath for you."

He started to say that he had already had a bath, but decided against it and nodded. "Alright, I'll take one with you." He tilted Hidan's head up and looked him in the eye. "I'm not going anywhere, it'll be okay."

Hidan smiled, his eyes sparkling. "Okay! Come on then." He dragged Kakuzu back to their room so he could finish packing. He quietly watched his lover pace about the room.

The ex-waterfall nin dug through drawers looking to replenish their clothing, weapon, and food supply. Every couple of minutes he would run out to the kitchen or bathroom to collect the things he had on a scrap-paper check list. "Anything you need?"

Hidan shook his head. "Nothing that you've already gotten." He looked over the side of his bed, pulling out his teddy bear. "Should I give this to Tobi or something? I don't need it any more."

"What if we have a kid or something?" Kakuzu joked, double checking the bag for anything he may have missed. He normally did not get attached to the things he made, but he had to admit he would miss watching Hidan snuggle up with the bear night after night even if he were the one replacing it.

"I hate kids," Hidan said with distain. "Crap, I forgot to tell you, I'm out of skin cream. After the bath can we get some? We can leave right after."

Kakuzu groaned, placing a hand on his head as if to run it through his hair. His hood made this act difficult. "Fine, fine; but you better make it last, you hear me? You and Deidara use your weight in girly-things. Hell, not even Konan goes through as many products as you two do."

Hidan nodded. "Will do, are you done yet?"

"I guess." He stretched before turning to Hidan. "Shall we?"

Hidan beamed. "Yeah," he dashed into the bathroom drawing the water and stripping off his clothes. "Come on, 'Kuzu!"

Kakuzu locked the door, removing his clothes as well. "I take it you're feeling better." He lowered himself into the water, sighing contentedly even if he had just gotten dry from his last one.

Hidan fallowed suit and lay back on Kakuzu's chest. "Being with you makes me happy." He batted at his lover's hair, smiling. "I love you, so much."  
"Hidan," Kakuzu said quietly, wrapping his arms around the smaller man, "you know that…you know I still care about Warai, right?" It was a dangerous question, he knew, but he could not let Hidan go on thinking that he was the only one in Kakuzu's heart, even if there were five of them.

"I know," Hidan said, rolling over to kiss the larger man's chest, "but I don't care." He slunk up to the crook of Kakuzu's neck, grabbing his shoulders with near bone shattering strength. "I don't fucking care." He bit his lover's neck, hard enough to draw blood. He sucked the wound and then grabbing his neck in such a way that Kakuzu's mouth automatically opened. He kissed him with an open mouth, the stitched nin's own blood flowing over his mutilated tongue.

Kakuzu pushed Hidan away, hissing in pain. "Fuck," he jumped out of the tub and over to the mirror, inspecting the wound. "Not everyone likes pain you idiot." He ran a finger over the bleeding injury, a black thread immerged from his wrist to stitch up the gash. "Bite me all you want, but not so hard, jeeze."

Hidan grabbed a bar of soap and ran it along his chest making a lather. "Afraid of a little pain? That was nothing; I would have thought you would have a high threshold for it, with all those stitches." He motioned for Kakuzu to come back. "Lemme wash your hair, it looks all greasy. I won't bite you hard again, baby." Hidan had heard men call there girlfriends baby, but it was doomed to be misinterpreted.

A hardened fist collided with Hidan's head, smashing it into the linoleum behind him. "I swear to god Hidan, if you ever, EVER, call me that again, I will find a way to kill you!" Kakuzu pulled his clothing back on before storming into the bed room, slamming the door so hard, that that level of the house shuddered.

Hidan pulled his robe on and rushed after Kakuzu, tailing behind him while holding the back of his head. "What did I do? I only called you 'baby'!" He grabbed Kakuzu's arm and tugged on it roughly. "Sasori called Deidara 'baby' all the time and he never got mad! He loved it!"

"Yeah, Deidara. Do I look like a fucking girl to you? If anything YOU are 'baby'." He sighed harshly, walking around the room with his fists on his head. He stood looking angrily at the ceiling before looking back at Hidan. "Bleeding?"

"What sort of fucking question is that?! Yes I'm bleeding!" Hidan removed his bloody hand from the back of his hand and shoved it in Kakuzu's face. "See? Blood!"

"Beautiful," Kakuzu led Hidan over to the bed, sat him down and got behind him. He parted the man's hair, looking at the wound. "Ah, it's not that bad. It'll be better in an hour or two."

"Whatever..." Hidan said pulling away and taking off his robe. "I don't want a bath anymore, let's just go." He pulled his clothes on and got himself ready. He went to his drawer and pulled out his 'secret stash' of food. He ate quickly and then turned to look at his lover. "Let's go. I still need to get skin cream."

"Look, I'm sorry okay. It wasn't your fault," Kakuzu said, probably snappier than he had meant. Apologizing was not his forte. He fixed his hood and picked up their bag.

"Yeah, sure you are." Hidan opened the door. "Let's just get out of here, this place is so dreary." He walked out, adjusting his scythe now and then.

Kakuzu sighed harshly, following Hidan for once. Fine, Hidan did not believe him, he would never apologize again. The walked for a few hours before it began to drizzle lightly. "Let's find a cave to stay in."

"Yeah, sure." Hidan turned and gave Kakuzu a melancholy smile. It took awhile, but they managed to find one. Hidan fingered his rosary as he watched Kakuzu attempt to build a fire. "Kakuzu, what would you do if I were to die? Bury me, or just leave my corps there?" Hidan asked suddenly. "What would you feel? Would you mourn over me? Even cry? Or would you move on right away, and replace me with out giving me a second thought?"

Before they had started going out – having sex, whatever they were doing – Kakuzu would have given the simple, truthful answer: You won't die. And have left it at that. But no, he could not. Not that he did not want to, he just, could not. "I would burry you," he said quietly. "And I doubt I would find another."

Hidan turned to fully face Kakuzu. "Find another what?" he asked. "A partner? Companion? A lover? Someone who you'll love?" He wanted to know, he had to know.  
"I don't know; all of that. Why?"

"I want to know how much you love me," Hidan said, reaching out and grabbing the hem of Kakuzu's cloak, burying his face in the expensive fabric. "If someone took me away, what would you give them to get me back? Money? The secrets of the Akatsuki?"

Kakuzu grabbed Hidan's wrists, forcing the boy to look at him. "What is wrong with you Hidan? What's with all these questions? Why do you suddenly care about all this nonsense? Like I said before, you're an S-ranked criminal and you don't need me to hold your hand all the time. Besides, if you were kidnapped and were too stupid to save yourself, I'd just come get you. Simple as that."

A look of fury came over Hidan's face. "It's not nonsense you fucking money-whore! What would you do if Leader said you couldn't get me?!" He screamed, "Would you listen to him? You know he hates me! Just you wait; when I'm in a situation that requires this stupid organization to part with something to get me back he'll get a replacement as soon as possible! And when it happens what will you do? Just fucking listen to him and not even think twice of getting me?!"  
Kakuzu stood, smacking Hidan's cheek with the back of his hand. "Shut the fuck up Hidan! Of course I wouldn't listen!" He sighed harshly, falling to his knees and bringing Hidan close. "Just, please, stop with these questions. It-it hurts to think about okay?"

Hidan's body trembled with the attempts to hold off his sobs. "Stop hitting me!" he wailed. "Stop! I don't like it." He buried his face into the folds of his lover's cloak to hide the fact he was beginning to cry. "It makes me feel like you don't-" Hidan dissolved into heart wrenching sobs before he could finish.

"Stop being an idiot," Kakuzu said before he could stop himself. He tried to cover it up with a tight hug, snuggling his cheek in Hidan's hair. "Look, I love you, but sometimes you need a good punch in the face, and other times, I just can't stop it. I do things I regret but…" he trailed off. "Look, can't you just accept my apology from earlier so I don't have to do it again. It's very uncomfortable."

Hidan lurched away, slapping Kakuzu very hard. "I don't think you do love me!" He screamed, backing away until he hit the cave wall. "I don't think you know what that means." He grabbed his scythe and removed the pike, pointing it at the larger man. "Tobi was right; I don't deserve what you do to me. I shouldn't be insulted and pushed around like I'm a worthless piece of trash. Your words are empty!" He moved the weapon so the sharp end was pointed under his chin.

"I don't want to be here anymore. I'll wipe myself off the face of this planet. That will make you happy right? Then you can think of Warai all you want. Perhaps Jashin-sama will still let me bask in his presence." Hidan smiled, grabbing his rosary. "Just know that before I kill myself that I loved you more then anything."

Kakuzu looked at Hidan blankly. "You're right. You don't deserve me. Leave, die, whatever makes you happy." He turned away from Hidan, back to building the fire in the cave. He really doubted that anything would happen to Hidan. Either he would chicken out or whatever ceremony he had to perform would fail. There was, of course, still that small creeping worry that it would work. Like all his normal human emotions, he stomped it out before it had time to really dig its claws in. "Maybe those people in the restraunt were right; maybe you really are just my abused girlfriend. And I know Kisame was right…"

For a while Hidan kept the pike where it was, but finally he let it fall from his trembling hands. He already felt dead. "I... I... I want you to make love to me..." he said. "I want to feel you inside of me, for you to kiss me..." He fell on his side and stared blankly ahead. "I want you to treat me like I'm worth something."

Kakuzu was quiet, not wanting to say anything on impulse that might make things worse. Once the fire was lit, however, he turned to Hidan, lying down next to the younger man. He reached a hand out and stroked the pale face next to him. "You can't force this Hidan," he said sadly.

Hidan scooted closer to his lover, looking right into his eyes. "'Kuzu, hold me please. Kiss me."

With a heavy sigh – not sad, not agitated, just a loud, long exhale – Kakuzu pulled Hidan into his arms, cradling the boy, and began to place tiny, chaste kisses over his face and neck. After removing his mask of course. "Hidan…I know you don't want to…but I want you to-to sleep in your own bed tonight. And think long and hard about…us, a couple. Weigh the pros and cons, and then leave me if that's the better option." He ran calloused fingers through Hidan's hair, against his scalp. "Can you do that for me?"

"No! Don't make me do that!" Hidan grabbed Kakuzu tightly.

"You know there are more cons, that's why you don't want to," it was not a question and Kakuzu knew it. He hugged the smaller man tighter. "You should leave me. It's a relationship that's bad for both of us and we both know it." He sighed at his own words, half of him feeling better about the possibility of ending this partnership, and the other half ready to die. Kakuzu kissed the top of Hidan's head.

"Don't make me, please! I can't leave you!" Hidan moaned in misery. "I need you, and you need me!" He wrapped his arms around the larger's neck. "I'll stop complaining; I'll teach myself to enjoy you hitting me! I'll do anything to keep you! But don't try to push me away."

Kakuzu frowned, "Why did you offer to be my punching bag if you didn't like it?" He sat up; the clinging man was painful at that angle. He leaned against the cave wall, tucking Hidan's head under his chin. He began to run his hands up and down Hidan's back, trying to soothe the boy.

"I know I did, but only when I want you to," Hidan said quietly. "But I'll learn to like it at any time." He leaned up and kissed Kakuzu on the lips, pulling the man down to lay on top of his small body. He then pulled away and stroked his lover's stitched cheek. "'Kuzu-koi," he reached up and kissed Kakuzu again.

Kakuzu looked at Hidan sadly before leaning down to peck Hidan on the lips. "Okay, let me go. I'm starving. We didn't get breakfast remember."

Hidan felt a pang in his heart, but let the man go. He did not move, just watched him with sad eyes while he lay on the cold ground. "I've ruined it haven't I?"

"No, I've ruined it. It isn't your fault that I can't stop myself from taking my anger out on you." Kakuzu looked back over at Hidan. "I do want to make this work. But it's just not a healthy relationship."

Hidan sat up. "Zetsu is a cannibal, Sasori was a walking dildo, Deidara gives himself oral sex with his hands, Leader has a piercing fetish, Itachi is a psychopath, Konan is almost made of fucking paper, Kisame most likely has two dicks and Tobi... Tobi..." he trailed off, trying to find something off with him. "Well forget Tobi. But anyway, we are fine in this fucking relationship. Come on, sex with a puppet? I doubt that Sasori ever even felt anything." He crawled over to Kakuzu and leaned against his back. "Come on, we're fine."

The ex-waterfall nin merely sighed. He truly did not believe that they were alright; no one in the harem Leader dared call an organization was alright. But Kakuzu did not voice his opinion on the subject. "Hand me some oil and noodles."

Hidan smiled and removed the asked for items from the bag. "Here, 'Kuzu," he said contently. "What are we having? Do you want me to go and get a rabbit?"

"You hate hunting; frying pan please." Kakuzu took the items and held out his hand for the third.

"So what? I want to do something for you," Hidan said blushing. "You know, to make up for me hitting you earlier. What do you want? Fish, deer, pheasant, or rabbit? Maybe snake?" He reached in the bag again to pull out the frying pan. "I could go pick some mushrooms to help flavor the noodles; I know which are poisonous." He handed the pan to Kakuzu. "I saw some pomegranate trees with some ripe fruit." He looked at his partner expectantly, waiting for an answer.

"Some mushrooms would be fine. Pick whatever meat you want; please hurry though, I want to have the meat stripped by the time the pan heats up." He smiled behind his mask. "Be careful, okay?"

Hidan smiled, bobbing his head in confirmation before he pranced off with his pike and a sack in his hands. He returned exactly seven minutes later, the sack filled half way and a fawn tossed over his shoulder. He placed the animal next to Kakuzu. "Thing didn't even try to run when I came over it," he said while licking the blood off his hands.

Kakuzu smirked, "Well, well, you can do things right!" He opened the bag, pulling a rabbit out along with a kunai from his pocket. "Go skin the rest of them, build a fire, and smoke them. And make sure you take the bones out too." He grabbed the feet, making quick work of the skin before attacking the organs and bones. Kakuzu then sliced up what was left of the animal and threw the pieces in the pan along with some oil.

Hidan nodded and set to work. It took a long time, but he managed to prepare all the animals. He set up the fire and set the meat to smoke. He trotted back to sit by Kakuzu. "I'm fucking filthy," he said, licking even more blood of his hands, he then held his right hand out to Kakuzu. "You want some?"

"Not at the moment, thank you." The elder divided the food between them and handed Hidan a plate then chopsticks. "Itadakimasu," he said, nodding to his plate before tugging his mask down to eat.

Hidan inhaled his food. When finished he pulled off his cloak and grabbed a kunai. He traced the tip along his arm before putting enough pressure on it to break his skin. "I haven't done a single ritual for over a week," he said quietly before turning to look back at Kakuzu. "Do you want to help with one?"

"I'll just watch," he said, eating considerably slower than his partner. Kakuzu unconsciously licked his lips as beads of blood rolled down the younger's pale flesh.

"It's not a big one," Hidan cooed. "Feel free to join in when ever you feel like it." He plunged the kunai into the damp earth and carved out the symbol of his god, pulling off the rest of his clothes when he was done. He quietly chanted, running the blade along his length, his hips bucking against it before trailing it up his stomach, leaving a thin cut where blood budded to the surface. He then drove the weapon in, cutting trough the muscles until his lower rib stopped its progression. "Fuck that's good." Hidan sighed, bringing the weapon back to his hardening length, swirling it around himself, his hips trembling with the effort not to move.

Kakuzu watched with unblinking eyes. He had never watched one of Hidan's prayer rituals before, and had ignored any of the ones he preformed after they had made a kill. He finished his food, and in an attempted to make it look like he could care less, he went to check the meat that was drying in the mouth of the cave, away from the rain.

Hidan no longer paid any attention to Kakuzu, bringing the kunai to his neck he finished his prayer and ripped out his throat. "Ah, Jashin..." he croaked, bubbles of blood forming at the wound and even more blood dribbling from his mouth. "'Kuzu!" he reached out to his lover.

The man turned at his name, "Yeah?" He said quietly," What's wrong?"

"Come here..." Hidan said, using his hand to make an ushering motion.

"Do you're ritual," Kakuzu said sternly.

"That was my ritual," Hidan replied, his head lolling to the side. "I said it wasn't big."

Kakuzu walked up to his lover, taking the young man into his arms. "Need me to fix you up?"

Hidan coughed, blood pooling out of his mouth and wound. "Yeah, that would be nice." He placed a weak and bloody kiss on Kakuzu's lips, "Mmm... Hurry."

He wiped the blood of his mask before laying Hidan down. Threads extended from Kakuzu's wrist, piercing the already marred flesh to stitch up the oozing gashes.

Hidan sighed. "It feels nice when you sew me up," he moaned, arching his back off the ground. "Kiss me when you're done stitching me up?"

Kakuzu nodded. "We need to be going to bed soon. I'm still going to make you think about our relationship." Once the stings had returned to his body, he stood and began laying out their beds. Hidan's on the other side of the fire.

Hidan watched Kakuzu with disbelieving eyes. "I thought we settled that," he said, slowly sitting up. "I thought we agreed that we should stay together. If I end up leaving you what would have been the point of giving you my heart? I gave it to you so we could be lovers forever, and you just tell me to leave you if the cons out way the pros? And we both know that the cons, in fact, out way them." He crawled to Kakuzu and leaned against him, rubbing his naked body against his lover's clothed one. "And you haven't kissed me like you said you would."

Kakuzu was conflicted between frowning and smiling. Unfortunately, he smiled involuntarily. He thanked his mask for being up, before tugging it down to kiss Hidan. "Fine, do whatever makes you happy." He stopped making Hidan's bed before he crawled over to his own.

Hidan removed his rosary and crawled to where Kakuzu was now laying. "Will do," he purred before fastening the piece of jewelry around his lover neck. "Ninja art: Shinjinbukai Hyoushi (Godly Binding)." Hidan then removed Kakuzu's hood and mask, smirking. "I wouldn't try to move. It's useless. You can't escape the spell."

Kakuzu, despite Hidan's warning, struggled. "What the hell Hidan? What did you do?" He glared daggers at the man sitting on him.

"I trapped you," Hidan said, unbuttoning Kakuzu's cloak. "You said I could do whatever made me happy." He maneuvered Kakuzu's arms out of the cloak sleeves and pulled the man's backless shirt off to reveal his heavily stitched chest. "And I want you to feel good." Hidan leaned down and kissed, sucked, nipped, and licked the most sensitive areas on his lover's chest.

Kakuzu groaned, "Well I don't like this! Stop it right now!" He hissed against Hidan's oral attacks, trying to get away.

Hidan sat up, looking confused. "Why don't you like this? Is it because you're not in control?"

He blushed, looking away with a scowl. Kakuzu hoped his dark complexion would hide his change in color. "You know I hate not being in charge," he muttered.

"It's not like I'm going to do you in the ass. I'm just going to suck you off," Hidan said, kissing Kakuzu under his chin. "I'll free up your arms if you want."

Kakuzu licked his lips, trying to decide whether or not he wanted this. "Fine, go ahead. Just don't do it again; at least not without asking." He huffed and looked away. Trying to keep up his tough domineer was hard.

Hidan licked his lips, looking at Kakuzu with hungry eyes. "You won't regret letting me do this." He returned to kissing Kakuzu's chest, trailing down to his lower stomach before pulling his pants down. "Already a little hard," he said quietly before blowing on his lover's length.

The ex-waterfall nin hissed, half wanting to pull away, half wanted to get closer. "Would you hurry up already?!"

Hidan laughed. "No, I think I'll take my time." He spread his lover's legs apart and suckled the sensitive skin of his inner thy while he massaged his scrotum.

"H-Hidan! Ugh, I-I'm going to kill you when I get out of th-this," Kakuzu gave a breathy moan, wriggling under his partner's hold.

"Who will you get to suck you off for free?" Hidan began to mouth the underside of his lover's length, pushing his legs farther apart.

Kakuzu glared at his partner at the comment, but the look soon fell as he let out a guttural moan. "F-fuck, why do you have to be so good?"

"So I can see you writhe in pleasure," Hidan replied, nipping the taunt flesh before running his now loose hair along the shaft. "It's very satisfying." Finally he enveloped Kakuzu with his mouth, his head bobbing rapidly

Kakuzu moaned again, throwing his head back as best he could, trying to lift his hips closer to Hidan's mouth. "I f-fucking hate you right now..." he breathed heavily, knowing that that was not true at all.

Hidan pulled away and began to chant. Kakuzu moved on his own, getting up and pulling the mat to place it half on, half off the wall. He reseated himself and Hidan got back in between his legs, his hands pumping him. "Want me to free your hands? Then you could make me go as fast as you want."

"Th-that would be lovely," Kakuzu said, his breath hitched in his throat. "Mmm, fuck Hidan..."

Hidan partially traced his rosary and placed his mouth back on Kakuzu's length, he pulled away for a second to say one thing; "Grab my head and fuck my mouth till you cum."

Kakuzu was more than happy to scramble up and grab the back of Hidan's head, bringing it down with teeth-shattering force. He moaned hotly as he felt the teeth dig into his flesh, but he did not stop. He got on his knees and pulled Hidan up, while thrusting out, before bringing them together again. He did this over and over until he found a steady pace. He licked his dry mouth, looking down at Hidan to make sure he was still okay with this. But Kakuzu found this task slightly difficult as his eyes were clouded with pleaser. "Ngh...fuck...god Hidan..."

At hearing his name Hidan looked up at Kakuzu, a hint of unsureness in his eyes. He smiled as best he could and grabbed Kakuzu's hips and pulling him as close as possible before he swallowed his lover length.

Kakuzu groaned happily, bucking into Hidan a few more times before he came with a sigh.

Hidan pulled away, swallowing Kakuzu's cum. "That was fun," he said with a lazy smirk before kissing his lover on his lips. "Enjoy yourself?"

Through pants Kakuzu managed to glare, but it was not full of the usual hate and daggers. "I hate you," but the words were said with out a trace of malice. He lay on the bed, arms laying on either side of him. One hand beckoned Hidan to lay with him.

Hidan complied, laying next to Kakuzu. "Hmm, I love you," he said, throwing a leg over his lovers hips. "Glad you let me suck you off?"

"I guess, but I would've been alright if you hadn't offered." He sighed contently, pulling Hidan closer, nuzzling a cheek in his hair before marking the spot with a kiss.

Hidan reached over and pulled the blanket over them, resting his head on Kakuzu's chest. "I can hear all of your hearts," he yawned, suddenly feeling very tired. "Listening to them makes me sleepy."

Kakuzu smiled gently, watching his lover with half lidded eyes. "Do they beat together or apart?"

"Together..." Hidan drawled, "Hmm... sleepy..." His eyes closed and his breathing evened out.

Kakuzu gave a dry laugh, looking up at the roof of the cave. He closed his eyes, listening to the steady pour of the rain mixing with the crackling of the fire. He let out another sigh, snuggling Hidan even closer, before he too fell asleep.

-

Hidan awoke to the sound of thunder. He lifted his head to look out side: it was not raining, but the sky was dark with clouds. "Lightning storm." He turned to Kakuzu and shook him gently. "'Kuzu, wake up."

"Mmm, what? What's wrong?" Kakuzu sat up, looking at his partner as best he could in the darkened cave. "What time is it?"

"Don't know. Morning maybe?" Hidan sat up, licking the shell of Kakuzu's ear, "We should get going, but let's be careful: There's a lightning storm going on." He fumbled around and found his pants, pulling them on with a grunt.

Kakuzu stuck his head outside the cave; it was just as dark outside as it was inside. "How do you know it's morning? For all you know it could be midnight." He too began to dress, despite his own words. "I mean, I'm usually up with the sun."

"Do you feel well rested?" Hidan asked. "I would think you'd still be tired if it was midnight. You went nuts when I told you to fuck my mouth." He licked his lips, "Fuck you tasted good." He rummaged through the bag, pulling out his gel and using it to slick back his hair.

"I still feel a little tired." As if to prove his point, Kakuzu yawned. He pulled on his hood, tucking the stay hairs underneath. "To be perfectly honest, I did enjoy it. But I'd like fair warning next time, alright?" He said sternly, pointing a no-no finger at Hidan.

"Where's the god damn fun in that?" Hidan asked, pulling on his cloak. "Next time I want you to ravish me. Will you?"

"I don't get you; one minute you say be nice and love you, the next you say, well, stuff like this. Do you want me to hurt you or not?" Kakuzu looked down at his partner in annoyance.

"I said ravish me. The ravish that means to overwhelm somebody with deep and pleasurable feelings or emotions," Hidan said. "Like what I did last night.

Kakuzu flicked Hidan in the forehead before he began to pack up camp. "You sure you want to go out in weather like this? It's awfully dark out."

"Yeah, I'm sure," Hidan said deciding to help Kakuzu since it made cleaning up all the more quicker. "Let's go now."As they left both forgot to do one thing: erase the ritual symbol from the ground.

-

A hooded figure hovered over the symbol before crouching down to scoop up some of the semi-dried earth, running it threw it's fingers.

"He was here."

- - - -

**End:** May 4, 2008


	8. Chapter 8

Start: May 4, 2008

**Start:** May 4, 2008

- - - -

Takigakure no Sato: A beautiful little ninja village, but harder to find than a needle in a haystack, literally. Takigakure was filled with waterfalls. To top that off; Kakuzu really did not remember which waterfall it was in. So Hidan had every right to bitch his head off.  
"Fuck you Kakuzu! You said the last one was it! But no! I got even wetter for nothing!" Hidan nagged. "Fuck you and your god damned old brain!"

"Oh screw you Hidan! You'd forget this place too if you hadn't been here in a hundred years!" Kakuzu swung and the shorter man's head with his brief case. The storm had cleared enough, but there was still heavy grey clouds hanging about the sky, as well as a slight breeze from the ocean only miles away. "Alright, if it isn't this one, I'll buy a deluxe suite tonight, okay?" He inwardly cringed, but knew he had to do something to make it up to Hidan - the boy was already freezing to death.

"I want a decent place even if it is behind this one." Hidan snapped before jumping threw the torrent of water, appearing again some time later. "Fuck you. You jinxed it you god damn money whore." He turned around and beckoned Kakuzu to follow him. "This is the place." he said before jumping threw the waterfall again.

Kakuzu laughed as he heard Hidan cuss, the man having jumped into a rock wall. "Even I knew that one was just a regular waterfall!" He took Hidan's wrist, pulling him from the water. He lent down and pecked the Jashinist on the nose. "Mmm, as fun as it is to watch you jump in and out of these things; let's have a biscuit and think, okay? I've got ones with meat and some with jelly for desert."

"It is the place, Kakuzu," Hidan said, rubbing his nose. "I just ran into a rock. Let's go already, I'm fucking cold."

Kakuzu blinked, rubbing a temple. His memory really was slipping if he could not tell real from fake. He followed Hidan into the small room behind the fall, three large puddles on the floor. "Okay, now one of these leads to the village, one just goes to the floor, and one is a trap hole which is nearly impossible to escape." He looked at each in turn. "Well, you won't drown so have fun."

Hidan sputtered, taking out his pike to check the puddles. "You better suck me off and get us a good hotel." he snapped, poking the center puddle. "This one is a puddle." Hidan then jumped into the one on the left surfacing moments later. "I take this one takes us to the Village then?"

"I'll do no such thing." He jumped in the water as well. "I'll get you a nice hotel and fuck you, but that's about it. You're the bitch in this relationship."

Hidan muttered before diving down, only to resurface on a wooded dock.  
"Welcome to Takigakure," one of the ninja guards said. "What is the reason for your stay?"  
Hidan turned to Kakuzu who had just appeared himself. "My partner will tell you why we're here."

"Oh um…" Kakuzu looked around, things sure had changed. He knew that sooner or later someone would notice his headband and then they'd be royally screwed. "We just came back from a mission." He lied.

Hidan caught Kakuzu's mistake and set on correcting it forming several hand signs he put up a small illusion, making their headbands change into those worn by ninja from Kumogakure. "What he means is that we're on a mission." he said, "We heard that a ninja named Nii Yugito was here. We came to give her information."  
The guard looked them over before replying. "I wouldn't know that." he said. "But Shibuki-sama would." he helped Hidan and Kakuzu out of the water. "He'd be in the square with the children."  
"Thanks." Hidan gave the man a quick bow and dragged Kakuzu off. "You almost screwed us over, dickhead."

"Well sorry," he said, not paying any attention to his partner. Kakuzu looked around, children jumping in puddles, women trying to drain their flower beds. Everything had changed; it was still home, but not really. He tried desperately to remember were he and Warai had lived – it would not be in the main square seeing as they had been chased out of town, but still he looked.

He felt all his hearts skip in their steady chorus of thump-thump when he saw the faces of a few people he could identify. More than likely their grandchildren, but it was as if he were seeing them. Enemies, old friends. He shook his head, trying to clear it. He had to be on his toes, he could not make anymore stupid mistakes. Or at least, not make anymore and then let Hidan save him. How degrading. "Okay, we need to get a place to stay. Even if the Jinchuuriki isn't here, I still want to take a couple of days looking."

"It better be nice. I want to eat at a nice place too." Hidan looked to the left where some young women were watching him, giggling like mad. In response he flipped them the bird and grabbed Kakuzu's hand. "Let's find this 'Shibuki' person."

Kakuzu walked faster, his face heating over. If the morals of his village were the same, their hand holding would be fiercely looked down upon. "Food or information first?"

"Information. Let's just get it out of the way." Hidan said looking up at Kakuzu, "Love you."  
As they rounded a corner Hidan spotted a young man attempting to walk with a bunch of kids hanging on him. The children were chanting. "Bring down Shibuki-sama!"  
"Look, nasty little vermin; trying to kill an adult. Ugh, kids are awful."

Kakuzu walked up to the group. "Back off you little runts! Respect your elders!" A thread emerged from his coat and whipped at the ground, scarring the children enough to run away. He nodded to the man.

The man looked just as terrified as the children. "Er... You had no need to do that." he said, looking nervously at them, "They were just playing..."  
"Looked like they were trying to kill you." Hidan said, "Grow a backbone you wimp."  
A ball went sailing and hit Hidan in the head. "Don't bully Shibuki-sama!"  
"Yeah, he's no wimp! He's a hero!"

"Shibuki-sama, hm?" Kakuzu looked from his attacked partner to the shaking man beside him. "Just the person we were looking for."

"Oh you little punks! I'll get you!" Hidan screamed, picking up the ball and chucking it back at the children. "I'll rip out your filthy little innards!"  
"Oh, um... Outsiders right? Last ones to come here were those Genin from Konoha. Er... Naruto Uzamaki, Sakura Haruno, and Sasuke Uchiha." Shibuki said the names as if to help him remember, "Erm... What do you need?"

Kakuzu looked at Hidan. "So a Jinchuuriki has been here, just not the one we want." He grabbed Shibuki's arms, pulling him up slightly. "We need to have a friendly little chat with you, make a scene and this arm comes off, okay?" He said as sweetly as he could muster.

"Ka!" With a puff of smoke Shibuki was gone. In his place was a scarecrow.  
"Nice going," Hidan said flatly. "You scared him away."

Kakuzu dropped the replacement with a scowl. "How long have the people of my village been such cowards?" He walked over to Hidan, looking up and down the streets. "C'mon, let's find him."

"What for? The Nibi wasn't here obviously," Hidan said leaning against Kakuzu's large frame. "And I doubt that he has a large bounty on- Oh would you get lost you brats?! 'Kuzu make them go away!"  
"'Kuzu make them go away!" one young girl with buns and tan skin mocked, giggling madly.

Kakuzu whipped at the children. "Shoo you brats! I bet you all have small pox or ring worm or something! Get!" He placed a hand on Hidan's waist, pulling the smaller man towards him. "There, happy?"

"Yes, very," Hidan said, wrapping an arm around Kakuzu's middle. "Can we go eat now? I saw an all-you-can-eat-buffet awhile back."

The man gave a heavy sigh, making a dramatic display of nothing. "Fine, fine. Then I'll go get you a nice hotel and fuck your brains out." He nuzzled his nose in the crook of Hidan's neck. "Mmm, that Shibuki-sama is probably going to round up some ninja to get us. We either need to find him again and work things out, or leave quickly."

"I don't think he'll go tattle," Hidan said, nipping and licking his lover's neck "Lot of people say things like that. And he'll be surrounded by fucking kids. Why do people even have them anyway?"

"I had a kid," Kakuzu said quietly.

"And I'm sure she was an angel," Hidan said truthfully. "I mean kids like those. Nasty fuckers."

"Let's go." Kakuzu backed away from Hidan, walking down the street to look for the buffet Hidan said he had seen. He felt a tight squeeze at his hearts and, suddenly, his hunger left him.

Hidan jogged to catch up with Kakuzu, hugging his arm tightly. "What was you kid like?" He asked.

Kakuzu was quiet for a long, long time. He blinked as his eyes began to water over. "I…there's the restraunt," he said, holding the door open for Hidan. He paid for the both of them and they were seated. It was not until they Hidan came back with his first plate that he spoke up again. "She was…the greatest thing in my life," he said quietly, looking at the table. His hands folded under his chin.

Hidan sat next to Kakuzu and grabbed his hand. "I'm sure she was," he said quietly, pulling his lover down to kiss his eyes. "You're crying..."

"No I'm not." Kakuzu turned away, rubbing his eyes with a sniff. "Okay so I am. So what?" His shoulders tensed even if he knew Hidan would not make fun of him for it, he still wanted to be prepared. "I-I haven't thought about her in…ages." He took a few deep breaths, trying to steady himself. He blinked a few more times before stealing a drink from Hidan's glass of water. He stiffed and sighed, his composer regained.

Hidan grabbed Kakuzu's head and brought their foreheads together, rubbing his nose against his lovers. "It's okay to cry, 'Kuzu-koi," he said, wrapping his arms around the larger's neck. "My 'Kuzu-koi. My first and only."

"I don't cry," Kakuzu said, trying to sound sure of himself. True he had not since his family had died, but his previous actions proved his statement false. "I'm going to go get some noodles." He stood and walked to the buffet.

Hidan smiled sadly after Kakuzu before taking a bite of the fried squid he got. "He's opening up..." he said quietly.

Kakuzu sat back down at his seat, kissing Hidan's ear as he broke his chopsticks. "I love you," he said quietly, his heart aching something fierce. He pulled his mask down just enough to slurp up a bit of food, placing it back to chew. "So, we leave tomorrow morning for Kumogakure and get that damned Jinchuuriki so we can go home, or do you feel like hanging out here a little while longer?"

"Lets leave tomorrow, but can we sleep in?" Hidan asked, putting on a pleading face. "Please?"  
"Sure, you can if you want. I doubt I will." He pulled his mask down for another bite, pouring soy sauce over his food as he did so. "But I dunno," he said once he had swallowed, "I always find staying asleep easy after we-" He blinked as he felt eyes on him. "Hey," he whispered to Hidan, as nonchalantly as he could, "are the people behind us staring? Don't make it obvious you're looking just…"

Hidan turned his head so his chin rested on Kakuzu's shoulder, his eyes darting to look behind them. "Yeah, just a bunch of teenage boys."

Kakuzu snorted, "More with the kids. When did the people here turn into rabbits?" He tugged his mask down one last time to polish off his noodles, stealing another drink from Hidan before replacing his mask.

"I don't like the way they're looking at us," Hidan said, wrapping an arm around Kakuzu's neck and pressing his face into the side of his lover's head. "I think they saw all the money in your suitcase."

"You're afraid of some little punks mugging us?" Kakuzu scoffed rather loudly. "You underestimate me, Hidan-kun." He ruffled his partner's hair, but under the table he moved the suitcase so that a foot was on either side of it.

Hidan gave another quick glance at the kids before turning around to lean against the larger man. "Now they're looking at us like we're freaks. Do you think it's because of my skin and hair? Me being albino and all."

"You're not that pale," Kakuzu said truthfully. He would never understand what made Hidan think he was so ugly, although, he supposed it was the same way with how Hidan viewed Kakuzu. But even before they had formed a relationship, Kakuzu had viewed him as pretty: soft skin and hair, strangely colored eyes, thin frame with enough muscle to get by. Most albinos had red or pink eyes, but Hidan's were more purple. Kakuzu smiled under his mask. "You really need to get better self-esteem." How hypocritical.

"Look who's talking," Hidan said, unbuttoning the collar of his lover's cloak and then pulling it up to hide his face. "Give me a kiss?" He asked, pulling down Kakuzu's mask.

"What? No! Not so loud!" Kakuzu's face flushed. "Hidan, my village isn't okay with this kind of stuff."

Hidan scowled. "Who cares? You left this dump and cut all ties with it." he said, "And this is the first time you've been here since we got together. Maybe things have changed. Please kiss me?"  
Kakuzu groaned but bent down and pecked Hidan on the lips nonetheless. Pulling away once he was finished, he rolled his eyes. "Happy?"

"Give 'em a better kiss then that!" a young woman yelled, her friend whistling.  
See? They liked it. And she's right, give me a better kiss, Hidan said.

Kakuzu sighed heavily before leaning down to kiss him a little longer and a little harder. "Better?"

"Hot stuff!" the girl who had whistled yelled, the other cheering. An employee walked up and kindly asked them to quiet down.

Hidan nodded, quickly finishing his food so he could get desert. "Do you want desert, 'Kuzu?"

"Nah I'm good." Kakuzu pulled his mask back up and rest his head in his hand.

"You sure?" Hidan asked. "Chocolate is an aphrodisiac."

"I'll just steal some of yours if I want any." He looked at Hidan with a smile. "Well, go ahead, get your sugar and cocoa."

Hidan trotted off, returning with all sweet things chocolate. "I can't see why you don't like sweets, 'Kuzu," he said, taking a bite out of his chocolate-swirl cheesecake.

Kakuzu took one look at the plate and turned away in disgust. "I think I just got diabetes."

"It does not give you diabetes!" Hidan said loudly, pouting. "You should try dark chocolate. It's not all that sweet."

"No thanks," Kakuzu sighed. "Chocolate is gross no matter what." He looked back over at Hidan. "Almost done?"

"Yeah," Hidan said before eating the last of the dessert. "'Kay, lets go. Hold that suit case tight." He winked playfully.

Kakuzu rolled his eyes, he placed a hand on Hidan's lower back as he led the smaller out the door. "Okay, tell me when you find a place that looks good to you." He adjusted his hold on his metal briefcase. He pretended to look around for a hotel they could spend the night in, when actuality he was looking for hunter nins that might be tailing him. Kakuzu pulled Hidan closer, he did not spot anyone, but he felt a wave of paranoia wash over him.

Hidan snaked an arm around Kakuzu's middle. "How about that one?" Hidan said, pointing at a family owned inn. "They're rarely expensive and they have nice beds and such."

Kakuzu nodded. "Alright, doesn't look too bad." He turned them towards the hotel, smiling at the elderly woman at the counter, although it was not visible through his mask. "One room please, single bed with a bathroom." He swallowed, suddenly worried that they might be turned away do to such requirements.

"Yes, is this lovely young lady your wife? Just married I presume?" the lady asked, squinting at the two of them. "Newly weds get half off."  
Hidan made a small noise, his face looking sour, but he said nothing. This was a chance to get an even cheaper room, and Kakuzu would like that.

"Yes," Kakuzu said a bit took quickly. "I mean," he cleared his throat, "yes, yes we are."

"M'hm that will be four hundred Ryou please."  
Hidan watched Kakuzu exchanged the money for the key. "Carry me, sweetheart?" he asked, in a girlish voice.

Kakuzu looked down at Hidan in disgust, but scooped the man up nonetheless. Once he was sure the woman could no longer hear him he hissed: "I hate you so much right now." He fumbled with the key and unlocked the door, dumping Hidan on the bed. "So are we officially a couple now or something?" He looked around the room: light pink walls covered in pink hearts; lights with red bulbs; a plush, heart-shaped bed with white sheets to match the white chairs. "I think I'm going to be sick."

"At least it's not like the ones in those gambling districts," Hidan said, stretching out on the bed. "Mmm, it's so soft!"

The ex-falls nin sat on the bed next to Hidan, hesitating before he too lay down. "Feels nice." He yawned, rolling over to face Hidan. Kakuzu reached a hand out to run the tips of his fingers along his cheek.

Hidan scooted closer, smiling happily. "Love you," he said scooting closer until he was pressed against Kakuzu.

Kakuzu smiled slightly. "Love you too." He placed a kiss onto the top of Hidan's head before rolling over on top of him. Kakuzu pulled down his mask to place hard kisses along Hidan's neck and shoulder.

Hidan moaned in delight, squeezing Kakuzu's shoulders. "When this is all done, when the Akatsuki meets its go-ah!" He arched his back when Kakuzu bit a sensitive spot. "Do you want to live with me?"

"Yeah," he said quietly, licking the spot that had made Hidan squirm. "I would like that." He meant at that moment he would. He sat up and began to unbutton Hidan's cloak. "God you're so beautiful."

Hidan's cheeks flushed a deep pink, averting his eyes. "'Kuzu-koi..." he mumbled, reaching up and biting his knuckles.

"You make me so fucking conflicted." He brushed Hidan's hair behind his ears before he leant down to peck him on the lips. Kakuzu scooted Hidan farther up on the bed; he removed his own cloak before he leaned over to click the light off.

- - - -

**End:** May 09, 2008


	9. Chapter 9

Start: May 10, 2008

**Start:** May 10, 2008

- - - -

The next morning beheld dangerous weather. So Hidan and Kakuzu had to stay in Takigakure until it cleared up. Despite it nearly being noon, both had yet to get out of bed.  
Hidan was giggling softly as he played with his lover's large calloused right hand, a blissful smile on his lips.

Kakuzu smiled down at Hidan. "Is my hand really that funny?" He reached out and poked Hidan's nose, pressing his thumb against the younger's lower lip and he did so. He let out a content sigh.

Hidan giggled again, moving closer to his lover. "It's not funny. I'm just a little bored is all."

The bigger man licked Hidan's forehead. "You taste like a cinnabun." Both men were not very right in the head do to a lack of sleep. "Mmm, cinnamon covered Hidan. Delicious."

Hidan giggled again, kissing Kakuzu on the lips. "You taste like salt water taffy, right hear." He brushed his fingers along Kakuzu's length. "I like taffy," he added before yawning.

Kakuzu smiled, "I like you." He pecked behind Hidan's ear.

"Well I like you more because I love you!" Hidan replied rubbing his nose against Kakuzu's. "And love is better then like."

"Fine, you win, but only because I'm hungry." He began to lap at Hidan's cheek. "Order us some food."

"I don't need to." Hidan said, getting up and walking to a small refrigerator underneath the table. "We have one of those bars." He crouched down and opened it up and pulled out some rice balls, closing the door and padding back, diving under the warm blankets. "Here." He handed Kakuzu a rather large one.

"These cost money you know." He placed the ball in his mouth, sucking on it a bit before taking a bite. "Do we have any wine left?" He sat up, looking at his lover; tracing the cuts and bruises on his chest with his eyes. Yes, last night had been a good one.

Hidan reached over to his bedside table and grabbed the wine bottle by the neck, swirling it. "Just enough for two," he said, poring some into his glass and taking a sip, wincing as he swallowed it. "Did you have the stick those threads down my throat? You fucking ripped my esophagus to shreds. Still hurts..." he poured the remainder in to Kakuzu's glass and handed it to him. "And you gagged me."

"I know, I was there." He downed the glass and the rest of the onigiri. "But it was good, hmm?"

"Yeah, fuck I'm tired," Hidan said yawning, snuggling up against his lover. "We haven't really slept have we?"

"I think we napped a little." Kakuzu licked his lips before peeking in the glass to see if there was anything left. He tipped it over to get the last drop before putting it down with a yawn.

"Not enough, apparently," Hidan said, crawling on top of the large man. "Kuzu, what attracts you to me? Give me all the boring details."

Kakuzu whined, turning his head away from Hidan. "I don't know; don't put me on the spot like this. I already told you we're complete and total opposites; I'd seriously have to think about something like that." He swallowed and gave a small sigh. "The easiest things to think of are your persistence and loyalty. Or maybe that's just stubbornness." He prodded Hidan on the forehead.

"You can say other things. Like physical stuff," Hidan said. "Things I do, how I look. I want to know that too."

"Physical stuff, hmm?" The older man mused for awhile, looking Hidan up and down. Kakuzu smirked. "I like everything I see."

Hidan smiled lazily. "I must be a looker then, hmm?" he said, kissing Kakuzu's chest and nibbling some stitching. "So are you. You make me feel so safe."

Kakuzu frowned slightly, the alcohol was starting to wear off and that one glass was not enough to keep the headache away. But at Hidan's words and actions, he gave a small sigh, rubbing the smaller ninja's back. "What time is it?"

Hidan glanced at the digital clock on the bed side table. "Almost one... Why? You want to leave me? Sometimes you make me sad too." His eyes watered: Hidan was still very much under the influence of alcohol.

Kakuzu groaned, pulling Hidan down more. "No, can't I just wonder? God, you're so clingy." Although the words were cruel, they were said with not a trace of malice. He kissed Hidan's ear. "No matter the weather, we've gotta go tomorrow."

Hidan sighed, moving so he was straddling his lover's stomach. "You wanna walk around the place? The weather is pretty good around the village," he said, kissing Kakuzu's chest again.

"If you feel up to it, I know you're still tired."

Hidan stood up, walking to the bathroom. "I am, but I want to look around." He walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on, setting it to cold so he would wake up; he then leaned against the door frame. "Come here big boy, I got the water just right."

Kakuzu groaned as he got off the bed, walking into the bathroom to join his lover. He sighed as the water attacked his flesh, cooling it from being wrapped in blankets and Hidan's arms. He looked down at the person in question with a smile.

Hidan was **cold**, but he did not care: seeing his 'Kuzu smile made up for it. "Enjoying the shower?" he asked threw chattering teeth. "Mind if I wash you?" He grabbed a bar of soap and scrubbed his lover's chest, shivering uncontrollably.

The man frowned, pulling Hidan close to him. He leaned over and turned the heat up. "You're so fucking crazy," he sighed sadly. "Since we're being all open, why are you so loyal to me even when I'm such a jerk?"

"You're my partner and lover," Hidan said, reaching around to grab Kakuzu's ass. "I love you. I need you, if I am not loyal, what would be the reason for you to stay with me?"

Kakuzu tried to muffle an embarrassing noise that wanted to escape him at the grope. He glared at Hidan playfully. "You wanna play like that hmm?" He pressed Hidan against the glass door, attacking his neck with his mouth. Kakuzu licked and sucked, not skipping any of those nice little bites, to leave a lovely purple bruise against Hidan's pale skin. "Nice," he breathed against the wound.

Hidan groaned, grabbing Kakuzu's sides. "Mmm, 'Kuzu. Keep doing that and you'll be screwing a sleeping man." He grew silent, "Kakuzu, you've never touched anywhere bellow my chest or above my knees with your hands. Why?"

"You've been keeping track of where I've touched you?" Kakuzu poked Hidan's knee. "There, happy?"

Hidan look sadly down at himself. "You don't want to touch me, do you? Not here..." he placed his hand over his groin. "It's because I'm a man, right? You'll only touch a woman there."

Kakuzu bit the inside of his lip. "N-no, that's not it." He swallowed thickly. "O-okay, so maybe it is. I've never been attracted to a man before, okay? Get off my back, I'm trying."

"I just wanted to know," Hidan said, yawning. "I love you."

Kakuzu smiled slightly. "Love you too."

Hidan returned to scrubbing Kakuzu's chest, humming as he moved lower washing every inch of his skin. "Rinse off, you're all clean."

Hidan returned to scrubbing Kakuzu's chest, humming as he moved lower washing every inch of his skin. "Rinse off, you're all clean."

Kakuzu backed into the water, taking Hidan with him. "I wonder how much money I've wasted on you just these past couple of days." He mused quietly as he ran the bar of soap up and down Hidan's torso. "You better not ask for another place like this again."

"Aw, but what if it's our anniversary?" Hidan asked playfully. "We can't have an anniversary on the ground."

"We can if I say we can." He stuck his tongue out at Hidan before turning around to rinse him off. "Maybe if we get married or something I might consider it..."

"Do people even marry two men?" Hidan asked, lifting his hand to look at his Akatsuki ring. "You won't need to buy a ring at least. We both have one." He suddenly snorted. "Hey, I have the power to marry two persons... Maybe I could make some money off of that..."

"I think Leader would bitch if we changed our ring positions." He looked down at Hidan's hand, tracing the curves of the tendons, the bones, the ring, and the fingernails. They were so small compared to his own. "We might have to stay in one place if you decide to take that up. And besides, couldn't you only marry two Jashinists?"

"We don't need to move them; they'd just be there, to symbolize it," Hidan said looking up at his lover. "Normally yes, but I can bend the rules can't I? Hmm, you have pretty eyes."

Kakuzu snorted. "You're in enough trouble as it is; we don't need to be breaking anymore rules." He reached over to shut off the water, exiting the shower and taking down two towels, wrapping one around himself and throwing the other at Hidan.

Hidan snorted. "I said bend, and I was talking about my religion." He wrapped the towel around his waist.

"I know you were." Kakuzu wiped off the mirror, attempting to fix his hair. He sighed in defeat before turning back to Hidan.

Hidan trotted back to the bedroom, pulling out a clean pair of pants and putting them on. "Let's leave the head bands here when we go out."

"Why would we do that? The ANBU will be able to follow us if we leave a trail." Kakuzu looked at his partner like the man was nuts.

"We're going outside to look at the village, we'll come back when we get tired or bored. Then when we leave tomorrow we'll take them with us," Hidan said, slowly. "Okay? We're going to leave them here for now."

"I don't know Hidan, sounds like a bad idea to me," Kakuzu said, dressing himself. "Besides, why do you want to walk around again?" He would never admit it, but he felt uncomfortable in his old village. As though the people were staring at him, as if they knew who he was even if no one alive would.

"Coward," Hidan said, pulling on his cloak. "Fine, I'll look around by myself."

Kakuzu grabbed the back of Hidan's cloak. "You wanna say that again Mr. "'Kuzu don't ever leave me, 'Kuzu I'm scared, I don't like the dark even though I'm a grown man"?"

"At least I have enough guts to walk around a stupid village, coward!" Hidan said, trying to tug his cloak out of Kakuzu's grasp.

"That's because they won't kill you! Hidan if anyone finds out I'm here they'll send every man available to execute me!" Kakuzu let go of Hidan's coat, albeit a tad rougher than need be. "You can go, just don't get into any trouble, I don't want to go save you."

"Well fuck you then. I kind of wanted to see where you lived but I guess I'll have to wander around and get fucking lost," Hidan snapped. "I might as well look for some bitch to kill as well. You won't be there to stop me anyway."

"You just don't understand okay!" Kakuzu stormed about the room, hands tangled in his hair. "Look...Hidan..." his voice softened sadly as he looked back at the priest. "I'll take you later, alright? I promise. I just don't want to go out right now."

"Then help me under stand! You never tell me anything!" Hidan screamed. "How am I supposed to help you?!"

"I don't want help!" Kakuzu was shouting again now. A wonderful day ruined. "Just go if you want, but I don't want to. I said I'd take you later that should be enough." He sat on the bed, his head in his hands. Why did Hidan have to make life so difficult? He just did not want to wonder around his old village so irresponsibly.

Hidan recoiled slightly, looking hurt. "Fine! Push me away, you jackass!" He fled into the bathroom and locked the door.

Kakuzu let out a frustrated noise, flopping onto the bed. Why was _Hidan_ so difficult? "I'm not pushing you away I just don't want to walk around! What part of that are you confused about?!"

"You are too pushing me away! You never fucking tell me anything!" Hidan screamed from inside the bathroom. "I can't understand if you don't tell me what's wrong, you idiot."

"Maybe I don't want you to understand! There's nothing that needs to be clarified for you; if I want to remain an enigma I'm going to do it!" Kakuzu threw his arms out in front of him and pouted stubbornly at the wall.

"**You son of a bitch!! Just tell me why you don't want to go out right now!**" there was a loud crashing noise, "You fucking piss me off!"

"**I already told you! They'll kill me if I do!** Why don't you get that? I thought you said you loved me!" Kakuzu stomped around the room, kicking the bed and kicking over tables. A small part in the back of his mind reminded him that this room would cost a lot to fix, so he kept his tantrum to a minimum in favor for yelling into a pillow, going slack once he was done.

"No you didn't!" Hidan unlocked the door and stormed out, grabbing Kakuzu's shoulder and turned him over. "Don't you ever doubt my love for you, you bitch!"

"Yes I did!" He gave a heavy sigh, pressing his forehead against Hidan's. Kakuzu nipped at the younger's nose.

"If you did, I don't remember," Hidan muttered, blushing. "I do love you, 'Kuzu." he crawled on to the bed and snuggled next to his lover.

"I know you do," he pulled Hidan closer; "I love you too." Kakuzu lay down, pulling Hidan to lie next to him. "Still hungry," he mumbled.

"If you were like Zetsu I'd let you eat me..." Hidan said. "I wonder what I taste like..." He kissed Kakuzu's cheek, sliding his tongue in-between the stitching.

Kakuzu whined and turned his head, but it was more childish protest than an actual attempt at stopping him. "That hurts..."

"You never complained about it before," Hidan said, moving a bit so he was mouthing Kakuzu's ear. "You smell nice..."

He whined again, now just trying to get back at Hidan. "Stop it," he rolled over, trying to lure Hidan in a trap. He tried to keep the smirk off his lips as he waited, knowing Hidan would continue to pester him.

"What the hell? Stop acting like a baby," Hidan said, adjusting to Kakuzu's new position. "Don't you like it when I play with your ears?" He sucked his lover's earlobe, nibbling on it.

It was at that moment Kakuzu chose to attack! He spun around pinning Hidan to the bed; his knees on the boy's shins and his hands pinning down his hands. "Hah, you're so easy to fool." He sneered playfully down at Hidan. "You should know better than to think I'd ever act like that without an ulterior motive."

Hidan blinked in surprise before he began to struggle. "What the hell? Get off me!" he inhaled deeply. "RAPE!! RAPE!! FUCKING RAPE!! HELP!!" Hidan continued yelling, doing his best not to smile.

Kakuzu licked his lips. "Scream all you want, I'm not letting go." To prove his point he tightened his grip on Hidan's wrists. "You just lay there and do what you do best: look pretty."

Hidan pouted, wriggling a bit. "No fair, you're so much stronger!" he whimpered cutely. "Could you really rape some one as cute as me?" He licked his lips as well.

"Of course I could," Kakuzu said with a dark laugh, leaning down to bite at Hidan's lips.

Hidan groaned. "Kuzu, bite me again!" he crooned, licking his bruised lips.

Kakuzu swallowed, leaning to bite right below the left hinge of Hidan's jaw. He grabbed the small amount of flesh, tugging playfully.

Hidan moaned in delight. "Mmm, Kakuzu" Hidan squirmed. "H-harder!!"

Kakuzu complied with Hidan's request, chomping down on the flesh and pulled even harder. He grabbed Hidan's waist and pulled him up to the head board, propping him up with a pillow.

Hidan swallowed hard. "So good, fuck." He shuddered; his cheeks flushed a bright pink. "Don't stop... 'Kuzu."

The man pulled away, smirking evilly over Hidan. "Are you trying to tell me what to do, bitch? Hmm?" Kakuzu's grip tightened that much more. "Did you forget your place in this relationship?"

Hidan smirked. "Maybe you should put me in my place," he suggested hopefully.  
Kakuzu chuckled, leaning closer to Hidan. "Maybe I should," he breathed against Hidan's lips before taking them roughly. He growled into the kiss, threads wriggling from his arms to hold Hidan's head and wrists down, while Kakuzu's hands made their way to his waist. The waterfall-nin pulled back, looking down at Hidan. "Beg for it," he hissed.

"Punish me, please. Please!" Hidan whimpered, straining against his binds. "Hurt me, please!"

Kakuzu groaned, pressing his hips to Hidan's. He lifted Hidan's legs and placed them on his shoulders. Leaning down, he kissed the younger again, running their tongues together.

Hidan strained his arms again, wanting desperately to wrap them around his lover's neck. However, being unable to, he used his legs to bring Kakuzu closer, moaning in delight.

Kakuzu growled, pressing Hidan's hips back down. "Now, now, you calm down. Don't make me have to hit you." He ran his nails against Hidan's cheek in mock kindness.

Hidan whined, squirming vigorously. "Kakuzu! I said to punish me!"

Kakuzu growled, smacking Hidan hard. "And I said not to tell me what to do." He grabbed a fistful of the soft, silver hair using it to pull Hidan's head back. Kakuzu bit down on Hidan's wind pipe, digging his teeth into the flesh. The metallic taste of the crimson blood only egging him on.

Hidan cried out, roughly tugging on his bindings but smiling like a mad man. "You're so easy to manipulate sometimes." He wrapped his legs around his lover's waist. "Fucking sadist."

At that, Kakuzu bit down harder, breaking the flesh just that much more. Threads began to dig into him, worming their way in-between his ribs. Kakuzu scratched down his bound arms, lapping up the blood oozing down his neck.

Hidan flinched. "Kakuzu, please, don't stick those in my chest, it makes it really hard to breath." He moaned, however, as Kakuzu's tongue moved along his neck.

"I know, you told me to punish you." Kakuzu laughed as he continued his work at Hidan's neck. As he did so, though, the threads went no deeper into him, merely wriggling around where they were.

"Thank you, 'Kuzu," Hidan said quietly.

A knock at the door interrupted them; a small timid voice was heard threw it. "Um, excuse me, but you are disturbing the man in the next room. I know you just married and all, but could you keep it down, please?"

Kakuzu looked over his shoulder at the door. "Yeah sure, we're very sorry miss." He turned back to Hidan and scoffed quietly. "Pfft, right," he placed his hands on Hidan's chest, "that's just about as likely as you dieing."

"I don't want to be kicked out, 'Kuzu," Hidan said blushing. "Let's just stop, I don't feel too comfortable now..." He squirmed uncomfortably.

"Fine," Kakuzu rolled off of Hidan and sat up. "I got blood all over me," he said absentmindedly. "I'm going to go take another shower, okay?" Kakuzu stood, making his way to the bathroom. It only took a couple of minutes for him to get the splatter off of him and him to re-change. When he was finished, he sat on one of the white chairs, pulling his briefcase into his lap to work on some papers.

Hidan sat on the floor and began to sharpen his scythe. But he grew bored quickly and turned on the TV making sure the volume was low enough so Kakuzu would not be bothered. There was a marathon of Law & Order: SVU on, so he watched that. "Have you ever watched Law and Order before, Kakuzu?" he asked quietly.

Kakuzu glanced over at the boy before his eyes darted up to the television and then back to his papers. "No, I don't believe in television; it doesn't do anything for you. That's one of the many reasons there aren't any in the base except for in Leader-sama's room and in the security office."

"This show is awesome. I like Munch. And Criminal Intent has Vincent D'Onofrio. Guy's awesome. But SVU is the best: pedophiles, rape, religious serial killers, and the worst crimes. Ah, reminds me of the Akatsuki," Hidan said, getting comfortable. "Konan lets Deidara and I watch it with her."

Kakuzu made an acknowledging noise, not really paying any attention to his partner. His wonderful numbers and extensive calculations were all he needed to be content and entertained.

Hidan scowled and tossed a throw pillow at Kakuzu, watching it bounce off his head. "Can you watch one episode with me, please?" he asked.

"I have things to do," Kakuzu muttered, "I don't have time for your stupid programs." He flipped a paper to jot down some notes, before flipping back to the previous page. He cursed as he saw that his pen had bled through. Kakuzu stood to rummage for a new pen, cursing again as he could not find another.

Hidan puffed his hair out of his face. "It's educational, for your information. I'll give your feet a nice rub if you do."

"No thank you," Kakuzu said, standing around. He was at a loss as to what to do. "You think they'll have pens downstairs that aren't as disgusting as this room?" He clacked his tongue, looking around even if they had been in the honeymoon suit for nearly two days now.

Hidan pouted. "Yeah, I'm sure they'd have some. Hmm, I've seen this episode." He turned to Kakuzu. "You still want to go out later?"

"I never wanted to go out in the first place. I mean, I know I agreed at first, but I wasn't thinking, okay. I really don't want to." Kakuzu sat back on the bed, watching Hidan watch him.

Hidan pouted, crossing his arms. "You won't watch some television or go out with me," he said, sounding disappointed. "You're only interesting when we have sex. You're boring when it comes to every thing else."

"At least we can now agree on sex." Kakuzu sat up, slouching slightly. "I thought we already went over the fact we neither have anything in common nor can we agree on anything." He fell backwards again. Pen-less he was defeated. He glared at the ceiling, willing it to be interesting.

Hidan turned the volume up and patted the bed near him. "Just watch this with me if you have nothing better to do. If you don't like it after this episode is over, we'll just sit in each other's presence."

Kakuzu whined. "Can't I have neither?" He was only joking, but he was almost certain Hidan would bitch about it: "I'm just kidding by the way, don't hop on your period on me." Kakuzu sat up and went over to the door. "I'm going to go find another pen."

Hidan whined right back. "You'd rather do some stupid paper work then just sit next to me?" The turned the TV off and tossed the remote to the foot of the bed. "You don't even have to fucking touch or talk to me."

"Look, this paper work is important. It needs to get done. True it could probably wait a couple of days, but we're on a mission and I have no idea when I'll get another chance to do it." He turned away from Hidan and back to the door, remembering his coat he turned around and tugged it back on.

Hidan moaned and crawled under the covers, throwing them over his head. "Fucking old man." he said, his voice slightly muffled. "I hate you. Puppet Boy was more fun then your old ass."

Kakuzu sighed and left the room. He walked down the two flights of stairs to the reception desk, taking one of the pens from the jar on the counter with, thankfully, no human contact he was able to return to their room in minutes. "Are you really pouting under there?" Kakuzu said looking quite annoyed with his childish partner.

The tent of sheets quivered. "No, I'm touching myself. Of course I am. What else would I be doing?" Hidan snapped. "I can stay under here for hours. I don't need to breathe."

Kakuzu looked at Hidan, walking around the bed to check out his partner. Once he was sure what part of Hidan was what, he reached up and gave him a firm smack on the behind. He smirked and sat back with his paper work.

Hidan yelped, tossing off the covers. "Son of a fucking bitch!!" he shrieked. "Next time your ass is in my reach I'll smack it super hard. Hell, I'll fucking bite it! I'll take out a chunk!" He tossed the covers over his head again, muttering.

The ex-waterfall nin laughed, not one of his usual half-assed chuckles, but a good, full laugh. He smiled and looked back at Hidan. "You're so cute when you're trying to threaten me."

"I'm not trying to! I am!" Hidan said, his form quivering. "I'm going to bite a chunk of your ass off!"

"Yeah, yeah," Kakuzu said, getting back to work, "sure you are. And I'll sprout wings and turn into a fairy princess." He flicked his old pen at the lump that was Hidan. "Why don't you go back to your show?"

"Then you better start growing some." Hidan said, crawling out of the covers and grabbing the remote turning on the TV right to Elliot Stabler saying 'He raped her.'

Kakuzu looked up at that. "What happened?" he asked sounding a tad bit more interested than he should.

"A little kid was raped, most likely a girl. You can tell from the hospital set. It's all child-friendly." Hidan said, he flinched suddenly. "Sorry."

Kakuzu frowned and returned to his work, no longer in the mood to continue the small back and forth that he had started minutes before. He now liked this program even less.

There was the sound of Hidan flipping channels before he stopped. "Now, we're gonna have Adam over there, stick his arm in a container of Daddy Longlegs and finally show if the myth that they are the most venomous spiders in the world is fact, or fiction."  
Hidan groaned and turned the television off. "They're not spiders you moron." He then chucked the remote at Kakuzu, hitting the man's head. "Fuck you. I'm bored and you won't fucking entertain me."

Kakuzu growled, rubbing his injury. "I told you, these papers are important, Hidan! They can't wait!" The man huffed and returned to his work, knowing that, eventually, he would have to do something to entertain the priest.

"Fucking heathen," Hidan moaned, rolling in the blankets until he looked like a cigar. "Jashin-sama commands you to do something with me, or no sex for a month!"  
"You need it more than I do," Kakuzu mumbled. He watched the pen flit across the paper creating messy, nearly illegible words. Usually he would try a little harder to tidy his penmanship, but for this specific document, he could care less if the proper people got what they were given. Chances were that they would not deserve it anyhow.

"If I'm as pretty as you say I am, then I can get any man or woman I want!" Hidan retorted. "I'll get all the sex I need while you, Mr. 'keeps-himself-covered-nearly-all-day-long' will have no one to screw unless you pay or rape them!" He then rolled off the bed, landing on the floor with a thump. "And I won't get HIV or any of that other shit. I can have the most unhealthy sex life in the world and nothing will happen."

"Have fun," Kakuzu replied, tapping some numbers into his calculator. He knew Hidan would not really go through with it; the Jashinist was too in love with him to sleep with anyone else. At least not sober.

Hidan whined, moving like and inchworm. "I hate you so much right now!" he said very loudly. "It's all about work and money. Well shape up and learn that human contact is more important, or else you'll loose everything!"

There was a loud pounding on the bedside wall, a man was yelling through it. "Just shut up, I'm trying to rest! Take that whiny bitch out for god's sake!"

Kakuzu glared daggers at the door, before he sighed in defeat. "Fine, what time is it? I'll take you out to eat." He started to pack up his things, planning on taking them with him. Not to work on them, of course, he was not that stupid.

Hidan wriggled out of his 'cocoon,' beaming. "It's a little after one, so maybe we can find a place that has brunch." He tucked his headband into a drawer. "Leave your headband here, 'Kuzu. We won't have to waste any chakra on disguising them if we do. Can I borrow a shirt?"

Kakuzu, instead of listening to Hidan, just put it in his briefcase. "I only have my shirts. Are you okay with that?" He stood, watching Hidan.Kakuzu threw one of his backless tops at his partner. "Anyways, why would you want to get brunch at one in the afternoon?" He watched as Hidan fought to get on the shirt that was clearly many sizes too big. "You look adorable," he said, trying to squash the amusement from his voice.

Hidan finally pulled on the shirt. "Well, I was in the mood for some fruit salad... Damn, this is practically a dress on me." He walked to Kakuzu and linked their arms. "Too cute for my own good?"

Kakuzu nipped at Hidan's nose through his mask. "Far too cute." He nuzzled their noses together before leading Hidan to the door. "I'm sure you'll still be able to get some fruit; it's only lunch time."

Hidan smiled. "Are you going to wear that ugly hood and mask?" he reached up and grabbed the top of the hood before pulling it off. "In all the bingo books you're wearing it. No one ever lived to see your face. They'll know who you are if you wear it. So no mask or hood for you!"

"You brat give me that back!" Kakuzu's already dark skinned cheeks turned almost unnoticeably darker at the assault on his head. "People have seen my face here! I'm sure they have photographs of both me with and without my mask in the ANBU books; so why should it matter? Let me feel comfortable." He attempted to get the hood back from his smaller partner.

"Everyone who ever knew you isn't alive," Hidan said slowly. "And thanks to Zetsu we have every resent copy of every book that the ANBU have. In every one you are masked. You don't need it." He stood on his toes and gave Kakuzu a quick kiss on the lips.

Kakuzu grabbed Hidan's hair. "You have five seconds to give it back before I call this date off." He gave Hidan's hair a small warning tug. Nothing painful, he hoped, but enough to let the priest know he was serious. Kakuzu gave him a pouting scowl before holding his free hand out once more.

Hidan's lower lip trembled before he handed the hood and mask back. "Can't you see how beautiful you are? Deidara didn't even flinch when he saw you, and Tobi didn't give a shit either." He latched on to the front of Kakuzu's cloak. "You're so perfect."

"I don't care," Kakuzu said flatly. He walked, with Hidan still clinging to his front, into the bathroom. He tugged his hood back on, tucking his hair in before pulling his mask up. "I just feel better with it on." He looked down at Hidan and pecked him on the head where he had given the tug at his hair.

Hidan did not say anything back; he just grabbed Kakuzu's hand and led him out of the room. At the main entrance he picked a very large umbrella, handing it to the other man before kissing his covered lips. "Let's go."

Kakuzu nodded, opening the portable shelter once they had exited the building. "Where do you want to go?" He walked next to Hidan, trying to keep the both of them dry.

"I don't know... a cafe?" Hidan's arm shot around Kakuzu's middle. "Yeah, a cafe. And then a park or some place... secluded."

The ex-waterfall nin squirmed at the sudden hold, but soon settled, figuring that no matter how hard he tried Hidan would not let go of him. "Sounds fun," he said flatly.

Hidan reached up with his free hand and rubbed Kakuzu's chest. "It will be fun. You know fun, I know you do." He smiled coyly. "But we need to introduce you to fun out of bed. I wish there was a festival going on... Do you like them?"

"Not particularly," Kakuzu said, keeping his gaze on the road ahead of them. Although he was looking at it, he was not seeing it for his mind was in his brief case figuring his work. Who deserved, who did not. What would Hidan get and how much. It was all very stressful. He took a deep breath, held it, and then let it out; the air coming back at him, warm, do to his mask.

"Well what do you like?" Hidan asked. "Other then me and money?"

"Nothing," he said simply.

Hidan snorted. "If I ever become as boring as you, I'll kill myself." He pulled Kakuzu over to a small café. "We'll eat here. Come on." Hidan took the umbrella and opened the door, gently pushing him in while he closed it. "This is nice, isn't it?"

Kakuzu looked around: it was clean and there was only one other customer – an elderly man sitting in the back, reading a newspaper and sipping at some tea. "Yes," Kakuzu admitted. "Let's find a seat and get some food; that onigiri didn't really fill me up."

Hidan smiled, grabbing Kakuzu's hand and pulling him over the glass counter. "Here's what they have. See anything you like?" He wrapped his arm back around Kakuzu's middle before looking over at the menu and turning to the young man behind the counter. "I'd like a fruit salad with yogurt and granola."  
"And you sir?" the man asked Kakuzu.  
"A coffee – black – with two Danishes, one cheese one apple." He nodded to the man and pulled Hidan to sit at one of the small, round, wooden tables by the window. "Are there no booths in this place?" he scowled at the small shop, only having a few tables, all near windows.

"Cafe's don't have booths," Hidan said, scratching his and Kakuzu's name on the table. "I love you, 'Kuzu."  
"Coffee and fruit salad?"

Kakuzu raised his arm off the table, although the elbow was still on the table. Once they were set down, he tugged down his mask enough to sip the scalding liquid. "I love you too," he said.

Hidan played with his food as he ate; stabbing the grapes and such. "What did you do to have fun back when you were my age?" he asked after he had scooped up the last bit of granola and yogurt.

"When I was your age," Kakuzu said, taking a bite of one of his Danishes, "I was run out of my village and my entire family was murdered. The closest thing I've ever been to having fun is when I used to play with my daughter."

Hidan stuck out his tongue. "So I take it all she wanted to play was 'princess' right? Did she make you wear make-up?" He put his spoon in his mouth before talking again. "When I was five, this one girl, Megami I think, wanted to play that with me all the time. I was supposed to be her prince and what not. It was fun I guess..."

"No, she just wanted to color and have me tell her stories. We'd go on walks and play in the pond we had in the backyard; she loved to go to the Cherry Festivals we'd have by our house." Kakuzu stirred a spoon around in his coffee, starring at it sadly.

Hidan said nothing; he turned around in his seat and grabbed a newspaper sitting on the table behind them. "Well look who's on the front page..." He turned the paper around to show Kakuzu, "Our very own Deidara-chan showing his stuff against the Jinchuuriki."

Kakuzu flicked Deidara's paper head. "Without Sasori he'll be nothing." But, nonetheless, he took the paper from his partner to read the article.

"Well? Is Sunagakure in a state of chaos now that the Kazekage is dead?" Hidan asked, stealing a bite of Kakuzu's apple Danish. "Or have they already replaced him?"

"He's alive. According to this Sasori's grandma did some jutsu that traded her life for his." He shrugged and turned the page, not finding the article all that interesting. Kakuzu had been alive many years and had seen such an act be done before.

Hidan's face fell into a scowl before he slammed his fists onto the table. "What?! That- That... ergh!" He slammed his head hard on the table, spilling Kakuzu's coffee onto the stitched man's lap, "I wanted to see some panic...some death."

Kakuzu stood, curing as he tried to wipe the steaming liquid off of him. "Damn it Hidan!" he yelled. "Here I am, trying to be pleasant, and you throw I fit and spill coffee on me!" He growled as he stole some napkins off the table to wipe his cloak.

"Don't get pissed, I didn't mean to," Hidan said, grabbing a few napkins and swatting Kakuzu's hand away. "Let me do it." He began to pad and rub the area dry, all the while the man behind the counter, as well as a woman who had come from the back, watched, both with a growing blush.

"Ah! Stop that now!" Kakuzu grabbed Hidan's wrists in one hand lifting them away from his crotch. He looked angrily at his ruined cloak before looking up at the people staring at them. "What are you looking at?" he snapped, his cheeks warming slightly as well.

"Fuck you, you so liked me rubbing and padding _that_ area dry!" Hidan said, tugging his wrists out of Kakuzu's grasp before turning to look at the two people behind the counter. "Stop staring, fucking noobs."

Kakuzu slowly looked at Hidan. "Noobs? Are you high?"

"Shut up, I ran out of insults," Hidan said his face a bright red.

The man merely rolled his eyes and grabbed his partner's arm, roughly pulling him to his feet. "Let's just go, okay."

"Yeah, what-the-fuck-ever," Hidan huffed, snatching the two Danishes off the table and wrapping them in a napkin. "Can we go somewhere that is secluded, no one to bother us?"

"Back to the hotel?" Kakuzu looked hopefully at his partner, but soon dropped it. "I thought you wanted to go to the park or something?" He walked to the door, opening the umbrella for the two of them to walk under.

"I thought about it, but parks have people." Hidan linked their arms. "Is there a place where no one goes?"

"Not that I know of. But I doubt anyone would be at the park in this weather." To prove his point, Kakuzu stuck his hand out from the protection of the umbrella, pulling it back once it was covered in tiny water droplets.

"It there a place in a park that is covered?" Hidan asked. "So it's not wet?"

"I couldn't even find the entrance to this place, how am I supposed to know what the park looks like?"

"Well where do you want to go?" Hidan tugged on the larger's arm. "Come on, it's not that hard to figure out is it?"

"I want to go back to the hotel," Kakuzu said, tightening his hold on his brief-case. "You drag me all the way out here, in the rain, and then have no idea where you want to go? That seems a little abusive on my end."

"How the fuck is this abusive?! You're the one who makes me jump through freezing cold waterfalls when you know I become cold easily because of my skin!" Hidan's frustration was getting the better of him, as he was pounding on Kakuzu's arm with his free hand. "You're so god damned boring!"

Kakuzu simply kept walking. There were not many people out, meaning he could allow his mind to wonder back to his work while Hidan complained. "I'm fine with whatever."

"Are you even listening? You fucking... ARGH!" Hidan let go of Kakuzu and moved to his other side and kicked his suitcase out of his hands in into a mud puddle some feet away. "I hope that piece of shit is water proof."

Kakuzu stopped walking, turning his head slowly, slowly to Hidan. "Pick it up," he said dangerously, a small breeze fluttering his cloak. His fist clenched as he attempted to keep calm, knowing that lashing out would bring them unwanted attention. But if the papers he had were ruined, Hidan was going to die.

"No, it's yours." Hidan glanced back at the suitcase. "Oh! It's bubbling. It's not water proof. Better pick it up." He did not care if Kakuzu hurt him; it felt good to do that.

Shaking with rage, Kakuzu picked up the case. He sat on the sidewalk, opening it with minor difficulty. He let out a choked noise at the state of his paper work. A mix of hysteria and pure anger shot through him. "D-do you have any idea what this was?" he asked, his voice broken. "Th-this was my will you idiot..." the panic now took over and he began to hyperventilate. In attempt to catch his breath, he dropped the umbrella, the wind carrying it a few feet away.

Hidan crossed his arms. "Sorry that that was there, but you should have kept it in the vault back at the base: it would have been safer there." Hidan turned around and stood quietly, waiting for the explosion to hit.

Instead of lashing out, Kakuzu simply stood. He took a few deep breaths before he spoke. "We're done," he said quietly. "We're over. I'm sick of your shit. We're going to the Cloud right now; don't talk to me, don't look at me, and don't fucking touch me ever again." Kakuzu closed his eyes tighter, if anyone had asked he would have said he was fighting a headache, when he was truly fighting tears.  
"You...this is the last straw. I can never...I've lost all hope in trying to fix this. You just betrayed me like you never have before. You know I keep important work in there, it wouldn't have mattered what it was. I've been trying my damnedest to change for you, and obviously you don't care enough to do the same." With that, he pulled his headband from his briefcase, wiping it off; he put it back around his head. Brushing past Hidan, he walked towards the underwater gates of Takigakure.

--

**End:** June 16, 2008


	10. Chapter 10

Start: June 16, 2008

**Keri:** Well, this is the last chapter. I know I didn't keep my updating promise, but with moving, lack of internet, school, and all the sicknesses I've been going in and out of, you're lucky you're getting anything at all.

Enjoy.

**Sabaki:** Keri

**Start:** June 16, 2008

- - - -

Hidan stood in shock, his mouth slightly agape and his eyes wide. He shook it off quickly and followed Kakuzu several feet behind, turning off at the hotel and picking up his things. With his headband back on and his scythe tied to his back he left. He left Takigakure slowly in hopes of putting a mile between Kakuzu and himself. He arrived at the dock and saw the same two ninja from the other day.  
"Where's your partner?" one of them asked.  
"We split up," Hidan said. At realizing that Kakuzu had not come that way yet he pulled of his Akatsuki ring and handed it to the man. "Give him this..." And with that Hidan left Takigakure, heading in the direction of his home village. Hidan walked for a few minutes, the fact that he had ruined everything slowly sinking in, when left foot stuck to the ground. He sighed, "I was wondering when we'd meet again, old man."

A shadow-hand lifted Hidan up off the ground as a middle aged man jumped from a tree. He looked disgustedly at his son, dangling from the air like an animal. "Have you completely forgotten your manners, boy? Respect your elders and do not speak until spoken to."

Hidan flipped his father off. "I never did show you any respect and I won't be doing it any time soon. Not that I have the time." He hoisted himself so he could grab his leg. "So, are you going to kill me now, or are you taking me back so the Elder can kill me?"

"I would prefer to take you home alive, but if you're going to misbehave, I'll be forced to kill you." He placed a hand inside one of the long sleeves of the coat he wore over his Hakama. From it he withdrew a metal thread, walking to Hidan he held out his free hand. "Give me your wrists," he ordered.

"Misbehaving is my choice, Ka!" With a puff of smoke Hidan was replaced with a crude sign that read 'Fuck you looser.' "So dad, did you know that I am not your pure little boy any more? My virginity belongs to a man!" Hidan lazily tossed a kunai from the trees before he moved again.

The man only stood where he was, the shadow moving to deflect the weapons tossed. "I'm aware of this; I've been following you for sometime." He brushed some dust off his clothing, not really interested in the conversation at hand. "Takigakure no Kakuzu I believe he is. A filthy heathen."

"I bet you didn't know this!" Hidan tossed a stick this time, one with an exploding tag on it, "I am in love him. And when it comes to him, Jashin-sama is nothing."

He jumped from the bomb, 'poof'ing behind Hidan to round-house kick him to the head. As the pale man fell to the ground, he loomed over him, a foot on Hidan's neck. "How DARE you! Jashin-sama is the ONLY person you should love!" He put more pressure on Hidan's neck. "I knew I should have killed you when you were a child. I knew you were not going to be a soul worthy of Jashin-sama."

"I know you did, but mother begged you not too. You never liked me because I am an albino. You think every one should be perfect." Hidan's sneering face softened. "Did you love mother?"  
"Does it matter?" he said, bending down to tie Hidan's wrists, back to back so it would be impossible for him to perform hand signals, as well as his ankles. "The High Priests said we were to wed, and we did." The man threw his only child over his shoulder, adjusting the weapon on his side.

"This isn't very fair. I was look forward to a big ass battle. My scythe verses your morning star," Hidan mused. "I'd die from a mystic wound, go to hell, and Kakuzu would be as happy as you will be when it happens."

The man just made a noise of acknowledgment and kept walking. "So whatever happened to your partner?" he asked after nearly an hour of silence, shifting Hidan on his shoulder.

"I kicked his briefcase into some mud and he dumped me, not that you know what dumped means, old man." Hidan suddenly felt like crying. "He used to carry me like this."

"Don't get nostalgic on me." He then attempted to spank Hidan as hard as he could in the angle he was in. "And I told you to respect your elders. You better watch what you say around the Elders, lest they curse your soul before they kill you. Betraying your village, selling your body and soul to some heathen when it was rightfully Lord Jashin's," he scoffed, "you'll be lucky if you even get a glance at heaven."

But at that he sighed. "Everyone thought you would be the perfect sacrifice. Son of Yoshirou Sabaki, one of the most regarded men in our village, and Hotaka Itsuki, daughter of a high priest." He sighed again. "We all hoped Jashin would be pleased with you, but now you've forced us to raise another. We'll be late on our sacrifice; the harvest is already suffering."

"Blah blah blah! Just shut up. Maybe if you did something other then pray and kill for a good harvest you'd get better results." Hidan pounded on his father's back, vaguely aware he was sounding like Kakuzu. "Zetsu never kills or prays, and he has better plants then anyone. Jashin won't do shit."

"Every time we give him a sacrifice things get better, when we don't, they get worse." He glared sideways at his son. "You should be greatful; do you have any idea how hard it was for your grandfather to get permission to have your mother? We had to offer you as a sacrifice; you're entire existence has been simply for Jashin-sama, and now he's taking it out on our village. Freak lightening storms, deaths of immortals left and right, plagues and droughts, and famine is the next one. Everyone is going to die just because you decided to be a little slut."

"I'm not a slut. I've slept with only one person, and that's Kakuzu." Hidan began to gnaw on the wires on his wrists in an attempt to free him self. "I don't want to be sacrificed; my soul will be purified if I am. I won't go to hell and I can't ever be with Kakuzu. Let me go!"

"We know that, that's why we're doing it. All of our priests and the Elders have been praying in hopes to clear your name so Jashin-sama will take you." He flipped Hidan around so he could make sure he didn't get away. "Now you stop that."

Hidan began to thrash around, managing to get out of his father's grasp and fall to the ground. "No, I won't! Kakuzu, help me!" he used chakra to amplify this voice when he screamed for Kakuzu. He knew that Kakuzu would hear him, what he didn't know was if Kakuzu would even bother.

Sabaki let out a frustrated noise. "This ought to keep you quiet," he growled, pulling his morning star from its holder. He brought the weapon down on Hidan's head, blood squirted from the wound as Hidan fell to the ground unconscious.

- - - -

Hidan woke up some time during the night. He let out a groan. "Fucking cock sucker."

"Watch your mouth boy," Sabaki said, sipping his evening tea out of a porcelain glass, the kettle still hanging over the fire in the clearing. "It should only be a few more hours before we get home and I don't need you to be taking that mouth of yours along as well."

"Kakuzu!" Hidan sobbed, doing his best to crawl away. "Fucking stupid, mother fucking losers wanna kill me!"

His father stood, nudging Hidan with his foot back to where he had placed him. "You want I should knock you out again?" he asked calmly. "I'd be more than happy to; you were far more pleasant that way."

Hidan shook his head no, tears streaming down his face. "Kakuzu..." He was not coming; Kakuzu was leaving him to die.

"That's good boy." Sabaki pat Hidan on the head as he walked back to his seat. "Tea?" he offered. He may have hated his son, but the Elders would have his head if the boy was half starved and beaten to a bloody pulp.

Hidan nodded; Sabaki held the cup to his lips and he sipped at it. It was herbal tea: Hidan hated herbal tea. "Kakuzu isn't coming, is he?" It was stupid to ask his father, but it was that or curse at him and get his head bashed it.

"Probably not." The man pulled the drink away, rummaging in his bag he pulled out two onigiri, holding one out for Hidan. "I'm willing to bet he only used you for sex. Why, I have no idea." He scoffed and took a bite of his own.

Hidan took a bite, nearly gagging at the fact it had no taste. "He said he thought I was beautiful... perfect." Hidan began to cry again. "'Kuzu said that he loved me."  
Sabaki let out a sarcastic laugh. "You just don't get it. Men will say anything to have sex." He looked distastefully at Hidan. "I knew you were stupid, but I didn't know you were that stupid."

"He held me. He wanted me to think about us. He even tried to push me away because he though he wasn't any good for me." Hidan tossed the onigiri at his father. "If he only wanted me for sex then we would have done it more. We only did it three or four times!"

Sabaki simply wiped the food off his face. "You must be a complete moron," he said, continuing to eat.

"Let's just go... I want to die." Hidan curled tightly into a ball, crying once again.

"Get a hold of your self boy," he sneered. "You don't want Jashin-sama to see you in such a state, do you?" Sabaki strained up, sipping at his tea once more.

"I don't care; maybe he'll pity me and give me Kakuzu." Hidan did his best to bury his face in his hands. "I want to get this done. Kakuzu may not love me, but I love him."

Sabaki stood, beating his son about the head with a stick he found on the ground. "Don't you dare chose that heathen over Lord Jashin!" He shouted at the young priest. "Take back those words this moment! Lest Lord Jashin condemn your corrupted soul!" He continued to beat Hidan, only stepping back after he was covered in small welts and whip marks. "Now pray and beg for forgiveness!"

"No! It would be a lie! You always told me that faking your emotions behind a prayer was wrong!" Hidan looked up at his father. "Mother loved me **and** you more then Jashin and I love Kakuzu more then him as well! Deal with it!"

The man swore under his breath. "There really is no hope for you." Sabaki glared at Hidan. "I hope Jashin never allows you to see that horrible man again." He grabbed Hidan's arm, pulling him to his feet. "Get up, we're leaving." He grabbed his tea kettle, pouring the water onto the fire before he packed his things, never once letting go of his son.

Hidan said nothing as he was dragged about. When his father was ready Hidan followed him obediently, no longer talking but crying still.

-

By mid-morning the next day they had reached their home village. A small town, usually well kept and orderly. Clean with friendly, talkative people. But as the two men walked the streets, the people hid in their doorways, each one pale and thin. Husbands muttered to their wives, who hid their weak children behind them. The usual lush grass was brown and dead, and the fields, normally covered with wheat, corn, and other food stuffs, were barren.

Sabaki snuffed the humid air, thick with death. "See what you've done," he said coldly. He ignored the looks given to Hidan, some full of hope and thanks, others laced with hate and contempt.

Hidan did not look up from the ground. Only when he passed by were the ninja academy, which nothing but a pile of burned timber, did he raise his head. "You chased out the ninja... Afraid they'd take over?"

"I only wish," he said quietly. "True, the Elders thought it would be best if most left, but they simply sent them on wild goose-chase missions that they knew they would fail in. The rest died at Jashin's hand when a bolt of rouge lightening struck the place." He turned to Hidan. "Do you really think we'd be so stupid as to kick out ninja when we were at our weakest, only for them to become enemies?"

Hidan puckered his lips in thought. "I... I guess I'm the only ninja left then," he said in a monotone voice. He turned to look behind him, hoping that Kakuzu would be there, but of there was only an old dog.

"C'mon, hurry it up." Sabaki yanked on the metal wire tied to the one binding Hidan's wrists, leading him like an animal. "We're almost there. The Elders can then bless you, you can get cleaned up to be presentable, and then you may die."

"Is grandfather alive?" Hidan liked his grandfather; he had been kind to him. "And if you want me to die so badly then let's move faster."

"No," he said simply. "He died shortly after you left. Losing both you and your mother was enough to send him to his grave."

Hidan saddened again, the last of his family who cared about him was dead. He looked up to see the temple. Despite the fact he would die in there, he found himself lurching out of his father's grasp and running to its doors. He placed his cheek against the cool metal: He was home.

Sabaki couldn't help but smile: Maybe there was some hope for his son after all. "Go in, they're expecting you."

Hidan swallowed before pushing the counter-balanced doors. He glanced around nervously. When Sabaki entered the torches lit.

"Sabaki, you were successful," Tenrai, the Grand Elder said. "Hidan has returned, what has the outside world done to him?"

Sabaki took a step forward, now standing slightly ahead of Hidan. "It's nothing a little cleansing, prayer, and repentance can't fix." He nodded to each of the ancient Jashinists before continuing. "Once Hidan is settled I will submit a fuller, more detailed report."

"Hmm, but we must know now," Oujou, a sharp faced man said, "what sort of cleansing must be done. Fire or maybe bleeding? Perhaps it is bad enough that a cleansing ritual must be done."  
The only woman elder started laughing. "You just want to see him scream and writhe, you senile fool."

Sabaki cleared his throat. "He has not only been slacking in his prayers and rituals, but has given his body to a mortal man. A non-Jashinist even."

The group gasped, looking at Hidan in utter horror. Their purest soul, used and tainted like a bath-house whore? "Is this true?" Kentai, the man closest to Hidan, and the youngest of the group, asked. "Hidan-san please tell me that this is a lie!" His eyes softened on the young man, Kentai had over-seen Hidan's training into priesthood and had loved him very dearly. He given him the fatherly affection that Sabaki had not. But this was unspeakable, if years ago someone were to have told him that this was to transpire, he would have deemed them insane.

Hidan bit his lip. "I'm sorry, Kentai-sempai, but it is." Hidan suddenly felt ashamed, he had not cared about what his father thought, but the elders were different, "And I... I love him. I gave him my heart emotionally and physically."  
"Love? Such a useless thing to waist on a mortal." the woman, Meimei, said, "It is better spent on Jashin-sama."  
"But I... I love him, so much." Hidan looked down, his face a deep red.

"Hidan," he said sadly, shaking his head. "Let us just hope, for your sake, Jashin-sama at least smiles on this heathen's acts."

"Meimei, please fetch the girls that will get Hidan cleaned and dressed." One of the men stood, using a cane carved with vines and leaves to help him do so. "We'll have dinner, and then bed. We'll do the ritual at midnight."

"Yes, of course." Meimei stood and walked to Hidan, grabbing his arm tightly and leading him off. "Of all the shameful things and with a man. No wonder Jashin-sama has caused such disasters."  
"I'm sorry, Meimei-dono." Hidan said quietly.  
"Hmm... Ah here we are!" Meimei pushed the door open to the baths. "Girls, guess who has returned!"

In the room there were five girls, ranging for seventeen to twenty-one. Girls from the village trying to gain skills that would help them when they got married. The women gasped, running up to Hidan with squeals and giggles.

"Hidan-kun!" One yelled, clinking to his neck. "Where have you been? I've missed you so much!"

"I've been everywhere, Megami-san. Working for a guy who thinks he's god." Hidan said.  
"And having sex with a man." Meimei added before she left.  
The youngest girl looked at Hidan with confusion. "How does that work? Sex with a man?"

Two girls, identical twins, looked at one another in confusion then back at Hidan. "We thought you were celibate." They spoke in unison, taking a mirrored step closer to Hidan. "Saving your self for Jashin-sama..."

"Well, I fell in love with him, but I don't think he cares any more." Hidan sighed. "The elders told me to bathe for my death."  
"Then we'll bathe you. Get a bathing robe on. We have some water ready," the eldest girl said. "Megami, get off him!"  
Hidan complied, changing behind a screen and then sitting in the tub when he was ready. The young women flocked around him, each with a different job.

"I truly hope Jashin-sama forgives you," the girl on his right said as she lifted his arm to scrub it. "It would be a shame if someone like you went to hell over one silly mistake."

"Have you even tried-" the first twin started.

"-to pray for forgiveness?" and the second twin finished.

"I don't want forgiveness. I want to go to hell." Hidan closed his eyes as Megami began to wash his hair. "That way when he dies, if he ever dies, we can me together."

The girls gasped, letting go of him and each backing up. "You want to go to hell?" One girl said, completely flabbergasted.

The twins looked at each other in shock and horror.

"He's insane!"

"Gone complete mad!"

"Get Meimei!" The said in unison, jumping up to fetch the woman.

"I'm sure she knows already. My father is probably explaining how far I've fallen." Hidan scratched his nose. "If I can't be with Kakuzu then even heaven would be hell. But the ritual they're going to perform will not only kill me, but purify my soul so it doesn't matter. Father will make sure I never see Kakuzu again." He began crying.  
"Oh we made him cry!" the youngest said, coming back up to Hidan as to comfort him.

The twins snuffed, turning away from Hidan, one hand out and one hand on their hips, both eerily mirrored. "So what? He's no better than a filthy heathen."

Another girl sighed, kneeling next to Hidan. "Hidan-san," she said quietly, "love…how could you fall in love when you knew your fate? If you knew it would only end in pain and suffering?" She placed a gentle hand on his arm, rubbing it slightly, trying to sooth him. "Jashin-sama will not be pleased with you; he probably will do nothing to assist you either: he is the evil god, after all."

"Love just happens, you may understand later." Hidan fell silent, letting the girls finish washing, rinsing, and dressing him. He sat in his room, waiting for dinner to arrive.

"Knock-knock," a soft, slightly sad voice said. Kentai peeked his head in. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah, you can come in," Hidan said, fiddling with his rosary.

Kentai smiled lightly as he sat next to Hidan on the small, yet plush, bed. "I brought you something to eat," he said calmly. "Meimei has been throwing quite the tantrum. She usually is the most outspoken, but this is bordering entertaining."

Hidan held out his hands. "What is the tantrum about?"

He shrugged. "You being a disgrace to our village, a whore, the usual."

Hidan took a bite out of a slice of bread. "I'm not a whore. Whores are women who sleep with dozens of men." He wiped his eyes quickly, getting rid of the tears that were welling in his eyes. "I am a man, and I've been with only one man. How many times do I need to say it?"

"Unfortunately," Kentai said, placing a strand of hair behind Hidan's ear, "no one here sees a difference. All they see is a person who not only betrayed their village, but also betrayed their duty to Jashin-sama."

"So I guess father told you what I said on the way here," Hidan mumbled, taking another bite. "I want Kakuzu to save me; but we had a fight, it was so stupid. It was just a bunch of fucking papers. He dumped me for that. They were stupid, replaceable papers. Out of all the things I could do it was that." He began to pound at his head as hard as he could, screaming at the top of his lungs.

Kentai quickly pulled Hidan's hands away from his own head. "Now you stop that." He sighed sadly, eyes softening on Hidan. "You'll be dead soon, Hidan-san. All this mortal pain will be gone and you will go to live in heaven." Kentai smiled sadly and brushed Hidan's tears away. "You already look like an angel."

"I-I don't want to live in heaven. I don't want to be an angel!" Hidan began to hyperventilate. "I want to-I want to be with Kakuzu. I won't be happy anywhere unless he's with me."

"Hidan," Kentai said sternly, cupping Hidan's face, "close your mouth, and breathe through your nose." He rolled his hand to guide Hidan with 'in-and-out'. "Put your hands to your face and hold your breath for five seconds." The Elder pet Hidan's hair, trying to soothe him.

Hidan obeyed, doing his best to calm his breathing. "No one understands me. I love Kakuzu, I want to be with him, doesn't it matter what I want?"

"I'm afraid that you have no say in your fate. You were born and raised simply for Jashin-sama." Kentai sighed, pulling Hidan into a hug. "I'm sorry…"

"Thank you, Kentai-sempai," Hidan said. "Thank you for making me feel better... Kentai-sempai... Have you ever been in love?"

"Me? In love? Good heavens no, my boy." He pulled back some to laugh lightly. Kentai smiled at Hidan, making a content sound in the back of his throat. "Why are you so different from everyone else? Even when you were a child you were never normal.."

"Maybe I am destined for something greater," Hidan said quietly.  
The door burst open to reveal Oujou and Sabaki. "We have to cut this touching scene short. Jashin has spoken threw Tenrai," he sneered. "Your execution has been moved to now, Hidan-kun. Take him to the altar, Sabaki."

The man nodded, grabbing Hidan by the arm to yank him to his feet. "Come along, boy."

Kentai stood, following. "Has Jashin-sama given a reason for the sudden change - not that I would question his mighty will, of course?"

"Jashin does not want this sorry excuse to live a moment longer," Oujou said. "The ritual he has asked us to perform will destroy his soul. You hear that Hidan? There will be no heaven **or** hell for you. You will never see that heathen again."  
Hidan's eyes widened. "What? No!" He threw his weight against his father's hold. "Let me go! Kentai-sempai!"

Kentai grabbed Hidan away, for the time being. "Please," he said desperately, "there must be _something_ we can do! What if Hidan repents and is truly sorry for what he's done? A trade: a new virgin, perhaps?" The man felt a lurch in his stomach, he would not be able to do much for Hidan if this was what Jashin-sama had said.

Oujou backhanded Kentai, grabbing Hidan's arm and pulling them apart. "Yet another worshiper has lost his nerve. You should know that only Tenrai may make contact when Jashin so chooses, a negotiation is out of the question now." Oujou roughly shoved Hidan along. "Make sure Kentai-san doesn't try anything, Sabaki."  
Hidan looked back at Kentai as he was pushed along. When they reached the heart of the temple the symbol of Jashin was drawn onto the floor with fresh blood. He was shoved into the center of the inner triangle and watched Oujou and Kentai take their places.  
"Sabaki, draw the blood of the High Elder into the bowl and make Hidan drink it," Meimei said.

The grey haired man nodded. He walked to the priest in question and bowed. After slicing his wrists with deep cuts, he held a wooden bowl under them to catch the required amount before giving it to Hidan. He did not break eye-contact with the boy and merely sneered once they were close.

Hidan took the bowl from his father and drank the blood. He was used to ingesting blood in small amounts, but this much made him feel sick. When he finished, he had to put his hand over his mouth to keep himself from vomiting.  
"The blood you have ingested has weakened your soul's bond to your body." Tenrai sad smoothly, rubbing his already healed wrists, he then turned to the elderly man, "Hogosha, guardian of the staff, remove his soul so it may be destroyed."

Right as Hogosha was coming towards Hidan, the door to the room was kicked in. "Sorry I'm late," the man said, walking out form the dust. "I really hope I didn't come at a horrible cliché time."

Hidan's eyes widened in delight. "Kakuzu!" he scrambled to his feet and attempted the run to him, Oujou however sped to him, grabbing the albino's hair and yanking him back.  
"You're not going any where, boy," the man sneered. "So you're the man that Hidan is blabbing about? Well I think we should kill you first. That should make him shut up about love."  
Hidan reached his hands out for Kakuzu, his eyes pleading to get away from his captors.

Kakuzu, ignoring Hidan for the moment, smirked under his mask. He placed his hands on the pockets on his pants – something special he did for himself – and said "Hit me with your best shot."

Sabaki was the first to attack, coming at Kakuzu swinging his morning star. He aimed for his head, but switched to the man's torso once he was close enough, trying to confuse him.

The ex-waterfall nin jumped back, landing a mid-air round house kick to the back of Sabaki's head. His body, however, was still hardened from kicking the door down, and the kick effectively knocked Sabaki unconscious. He looked at Oujou. "Next?"

Oujou gritted his teeth, but soon replace his grimace with a sickeningly sweet smile. "It looks like your lover isn't going to really help you, Hidan. He'd rather fight a few people first." He pulled Hidan back sharply, causing him to fall back, only then did he charge forward. Withdrawing a crystal sword, he slashed at Kakuzu's forearm. Despite the hardened state of Kakuzu's skin it sliced threw the flesh cutting the arm clean off.  
"Kakuzu," Hidan yelled, "that won't work: his sword is made of diamond!"

Kakuzu hissed at the injury, but soon shook it off to smirk again. "Nice try," he breathed, removing his coat. There was no blood dripping from the wound; long, thick strings unwove themselves from Kakuzu's shoulder to reattach the severed limb. Kakuzu struck a defensive pose. "I'd like to see you try that again."

Tenrai stood abruptly. "A man of strings with emerald eyes stealing precious silver from Jashin," he said. "Hidan, you gave your virginity to this... thing."  
Hidan nodded weakly. "Y-yes."  
Meimei shrieked. "The text spoke true. The devil has come to take precious silver." She stood abruptly. "But it is not what we thought it was. It is Hidan he is after. There is no soul to destroy High Elder, it has already been taken."  
Hidan turned to Kentai. "What is Meimei-dono talking about, Sempai?"

Kentai looked from Hidan to Kakuzu, his eyes boring into the man's back. "There is a scroll, as old as our Holy Text. It has been kept a secret so as not to cause a panic; it says that a man with eyes of emerald and made of strings would steal Jashin's most precious silver. We had thought at first the scroll meant our rosaries, but it seems that is not so." He looked back at Hidan, staring at him gravely.

Hidan looked confused, but he stood and ran to Kakuzu. "Play along with them. Act or something," he muttered to his partner, wrapping his arms around the larger man's middle and burying his face in the man's muscled chest.  
Tenrai glared at Kakuzu, his breathing slow and deep. "So, Master of Darkness... You have placed Hidan under your spell." He stepped down from his seat.

"Urm," Kakuzu said, thinking as fast as he could, "yes. I have…you would honestly believe I would allow Jashin to…have something so…precious?" The man pulled Hidan just a little closer, simply testing the waters of the conversation. He was now thanking whatever entity that had forced Hidan to read to him his bible. He at least had a mild idea of what to say and how to act.

Meimei shifted uncomfortably at seeing Kakuzu tighten his hold on Hidan. "The utter sin of this. Hidan how could you betray us, betray Jashin-sama?"  
Tenrai held up his hand, causing Meimei to fall silent. "It is not Hidan's fault, this 'thing' is to blame," he said in a calm voice. "It has made Hidan become blind with false affections."  
"Kakuzu, say 'These affections are as real as you' and then kiss me as deeply as you can," Hidan whispered. "Don't forget what I said, the devil thrives on the cardinal lust of others."

Kakuzu was now getting rather annoyed, between the Jashinist crazies and Hidan telling him what to do, he was about to lose his mind and go slasher-movie on everyone in the room. "Of course someone like you would know, having never been in love who's to say Hidan is not? Maybe it is possible that I have something Jashin lacks?"

Hidan glared at Kakuzu. This had nothing to do with their relationship, that was what the Devil would have done. He dug his nails into Kakuzu's bare back. "You're screwing us over," he whispered.  
"Oh really?" Oujou asked. "Well, show us what Jashin, a supreme being, lacks."

"Humanity: when I found Hidan the poor man was so needy, alone, needing comfort and affection Jashin would only give him if he did exactly as he was told instead of caring for him as him. I needed no spell to get Hidan to love me." Kakuzu tugged down his mask before pulling Hidan's hair back by his head and licking up the side of his face.

"Kakuzu" Hidan groaned, acting as if Kakuzu's action sent him into a lustful frenzy, "I want you so bad... Take me now." He kissed under the man's chin.  
A look of disgust spread over Oujou's face. "Hidan is nothing but a little slut, now." He pointed his sword at the two of them, "however, if we kill you, your hold over him will break."  
Meimei scoffed. "We can not kill the Devil you fool, he helps keep the balance. He is Jashin-sama's adversary."

Kentai grabbed Oujou. "Meimei is right! There's no way any of us could defeat him; he would kill us just with a glance! We need to leave him be to save Hidan later!" The man felt a pang at his heart that the man he had treated as a son was so lost. "Hidan," he said quietly, looking at the pale man.

Kakuzu smirked, pulling Hidan closer to him. "I'm glad you see it my way." He placed a hard kiss upon Hidan's lips. "But I now grow tired of this conversation: I will leave you now." He raised a hand, some of the stitching on his forearm undid and two of the masks emerged to protect the two Akatsukis. It had been painful for Kakuzu to do such a thing, but it did not show on his face. He scooped up his coat and turned to leave.

Hidan stole a quick glance back at the elders, namely Kentai. He'd do better, he would worship more then he had been over the last few weeks. Hopefully Jashin-sama would ease his anger and bring the rain, but right now he was happy again. "Thank you for getting me Kakuzu," he said quietly. "I thought you would never come and get me. I'm sorry for ruining your papers."

Kakuzu nodded solemnly. He did not want to say anything to neither help fix their relationship nor make it worse. One day, he thought, he may want to be back with Hidan. Hell, he wanted to be back with him now. But his animal lusts were not worth the mental ache. "Hidan," he said calmly, "I'm not mad at you anymore."

Hidan squeezed Kakuzu's arm. "I'm still sorry, and I understand if you don't want to be together any more," he looked at Kakuzu sadly. "I told you that I would ruin it." He then held his hand out to the heart with the bird mask. It looked at the digit before making a garbled noise and biting the finger softly.

Once Kakuzu figured that they were safe enough, the masks returned to their owner. Kakuzu sighed heavily and pulled his coat back on. So much work, headaches, and ruined reputations for nothing. He looked down at Hidan, tossing the boy his coat and scythe. "Found these," he said.

Hidan took the scythe first, wrapping the extra rope around his waist before pulling on his cloak and setting the weapon on his back. "Why did you choose to come and get me Kakuzu?" he asked. "And what took you so long? Answer both please."

"Took me so long? You ruined all my maps." He placed his hands behind his head and looked at the sky. "I came to get you because I wanted to."

"Did you get the ring from the guard?" Hidan asked quietly.

Kakuzu held the colored, labeled ring up. Once it was taken he wiped his hand off on his cloak. "I promised," he said quietly.

Hidan slid the ring back on. "Promised what, 'Kuzu?" he asked.

"Promised I'd save you if they caught you…"

Hidan smiled softly, grabbing Kakuzu's hand and bringing it to his lips to kiss it. "I'll always love you, 'Kuzu but..." Hidan paused, swallowing the lump in his throat. "But Jashin-sama will continue to cause my village to suffer, so... I can't sleep with or kiss you ever again. I will still love you; my heart and soul are yours forever." He pulled himself to Kakuzu and hugged him tightly as he began to cry softly. "Can I have one last kiss, please? Not long pecks on the lips either, make your threads explore me."

Kakuzu looked down at Hidan, his eyes softening. He sighed and lifted Hidan's head up, pulling his mask past down he lay his lips upon Hidan's. Kakuzu placed a hand behind Hidan's head, dragging him even closer. He would never admit that it was for him more than it was for Hidan.

When he pulled away he looked sadly down at Hidan, stroking his face gently. He pulled away like he'd been bit, turning away. "We still have a ton of things to do before we can go home." He began his trek down the dirt path. "Let's just get the damned Jinchuuriki, hit Konoha, and then get this mission over with."

Hidan trotted after Kakuzu. "Okay, but don't be a greedy bastard and stop for a bounty," he snapped. "And don't get killed. It'll be tiresome to fallow you into hell... No, do get killed so I_ can_ follow you into hell. Maybe someone will kill me." He grabbed the back of Kakuzu's cloak. "Hey fucker, friends alive and lovers in hell?"

Kakuzu smiled down at Hidan. "Deal," he said holding his hand out to shake Hidan's. "And I won't stop for a bounty if you don't do any rituals," he said teasingly.

"I'm shaking your hand on the 'lets have sex the moment we get to hell' thing. Not the 'no ritual'." Hidan grabbed Kakuzu's hand and shook it. "Get all the fucking bounties you want."  
Kakuzu rolled his eyes. "Let's just go already" The man smiled under his mask, knowing that there was no way Hidan could wait. Fortunately for the two of them would be together for a long, long time before they would meet again.

- - - -

**End:** June 24, 2008

**Keri:** Alright! It's over! And yeah, this does pretty much jump right into the manga. I'm sure that there's a few days or something between now and then, but meh…


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